3 Reasons You Should Not Try to Get Your Ex Back

I know that most of you don’t want to hear this and in many cases, the reasons in this article won’t even apply to you. But if it does, I really want you to think about whether or not you want to get back together with your ex (3 Step Plan). Because, even though this website is focused on that, sometimes it’s best to let go and move on with your life.

Reason 1: You are just feeling rejected

In many cases, the only reason you want to get back with your ex is because you feel rejected. It’s hard to accept that someone who was once in love with you does not want you anymore. The feeling of rejection is really dreadful and we all fear it in every aspect of our lives.

But think about this, they did not really reject you; they only rejected a small slice of you. Many times, they don’t really know you completely as a person before the breakup. Many times, it’s just a small fight that leads to breakups. Or maybe, something in your ex’s mind that made them think that you are not a potential partner. But whatever the reason is, you should not feel worthless just because someone doesn’t want to be with you.

Reason 2: You keep wondering about “What could have been?”

“If only I would have said this instead of that, we would still be together and we would have been happier. And then we would travel the world together and get a house near the country side and get married and have beautiful children.”

“What could have been” is just another one of cruel tricks that your mind plays on you. It is the part of your brain that prefers to have a lazy life and stay in the comfort zone. It is the part of the brain that is afraid to explore the new opportunities in the world. This is the part of your brain that is afraid; afraid that you will never find love again. It is afraid that you will always be lonely and single.

If you find yourself thinking about “What could have been” all the time, you will drive yourself crazy and will fall more and more in love with your ex. This will stop you from seeing the world as it is and will make you ignore all the opportunities that you have around you to be happy and be in love with someone else. Believe me; I know how hard it is to control your thoughts after a breakup. I have been there.

But remember this, whenever you find yourself thinking about what could have been, you need to remind yourself that it is only going to drive you crazy and instead you should be thinking about what you should be doing right now.

In the end, getting your ex back just because you are always thinking about “what could have been” is not a good idea. Because you are living in a fantasy world which is completely different from the real world and in all honesty, that will never come true.

Reason 3: He/She was your first love

Well, if they were your first love, and you think that you two belong together, then I am not going to tell you are wrong. In all probability you are right. Maybe both of you were soul mates and you two should be together. But if you two broke up, this is a sign that you need to explore a little before you get back with them.

You need to go out there and date other people to find out what it’s like being with someone else. And if you are truly meant to be together, then you will get back at a later stage in life. Instead of trying to keep your ex to yourself, you should let them be with someone else for some time and meanwhile, you should also find someone else. This might sound like an excruciating thing to go through right now, but it is something that you need to do to truly understand love and be sure about everything in life. Be assured, that if you do get back together after being with someone else, your love life will be better than ever and you two will be together for a long time.

 

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • gee October 22, 2011, 11:59 pm

    you are a genius…….

  • Josei November 6, 2011, 3:42 am

    You are very helpful…

  • Tanisha November 14, 2011, 7:53 pm

    I don’t want him back but I would like to have closure which would mean he and I would need to talk. He hasn’t said a word when I asked to discussed us yet he was telling a mutual friend that everything was fine. That’s my reason for initiating the break up. My question is why act as if things are good when they are not.

  • Yazz December 4, 2011, 3:46 pm

    The thing with me is that the love i felt between my ex and me is so rarely happening in my life that it is very hard to see something like that happen ever again, so intense, he was so devoted to me, so in love with me ..and it took 2 yrs for someone like him to cross my path, someone who says I love you. Before him I haven’t heard that in 3 years !!!! And this time it was mutual. That the man who loves me is the man I love too. I already turned down 2 guys who showed up in my life very soon after the break up. So yeah, there is new love out there but what if I don’t seem to be able to have feelings for the new love?

  • zack December 27, 2011, 7:52 pm

    the “heart” does not respond to logic it responds to reaction and emotion, I think u said it yourself somewhere. I’m not trying to be mean I’m just saying that you tell us the logic first and then you explain how emotionally it’s not that bad, but I honestly do feel better I cant argue with my heart on how I logically feel because my heart doesn’t believe in logic so even if you understand how it works you still feel positive.

  • Louise January 10, 2012, 1:46 am

    Hi sorry to leave this kind of comment here but don’t know how comments go but I have been with my ex for 7 years and I have a wonderful boy with him, when we first started dating he made me feel free, loved n excited when my son came along I could not have been happier but I pushed him away because “he was not doing what was needed” or what was “the proper way” and then after time he became frustrated and at times told me how difficult life was but in the end I pushed him away completely and he left me for my son. And I want to see him though I’m grateful I have my son and I know that without him I would/will be fine but I just can’t see my life any other way except with him, people say I’m crazy and its “dead” but it has been 8 months since we split and I’m writing this to you. It is not lust, not because of rejection or I just want what is around him I love my family and I now know I love him please help. I think I am mucking up as I go :-(

  • Dee January 30, 2012, 6:42 pm

    Hey, i followed your advice and after i got back together with my boyfriend, but after 2 months he broke up again with me, its just unbearable, all this pain, and i don’t know what to do. Ive stepped over my pride so many times for him, and i still love him, but it just makes me wonder if he is worth my love, after all that hes doing and how moody he is… I still love him, i just cant get over him, hes my first love, but all his actions make me sick and wonder just why do i still care so much? He knows what pain he’s making me feel yet he keeps on doing things every time… I don’t know what to so. Mixed feelings here. I just need an opinion… He loves me too, but is it worth to keep trying with such a guy that constantly hurts me?

  • Andrew slevin February 6, 2012, 10:08 pm

    Hi my fiancee recently broke up with me. We were together over 6 years and we have a 2 year old daughter. A few months ago I found out that my fiancee cheated on me with one of my best friends. I found out accidentally because my fiancee was talking to her friends outside and mentioned that she was getting off with my best mate and I didn’t know and didn’t need to. I was furious and she apologized and said it was a mistake I tried to move on from it I didn’t want something that happened years ago 2 break us up. One night my fiancee had her cousin over for a few drinks and she went to bed early . Me and her cousin got talking and her cousin kissed me and I kissed her back and my fiancee walked in and caught us. She has kicked me out of the house we were living in and she said its over that she will never forgive what I have done. As soon as I kissed her cousin i new it was wrong of me and I have told my ex fiancee that it was a mistake but she wants nothing more to do with me. She said the only time I am to get in contact with her is if I want to talk to my child. What can I do? I feel lost confused and really hurt .