Why Did Your Ex Leave You?

Why your ex left  youIn a breakup, it is very common for someone to give some lame excuse for breaking up. Sometimes, they don’t even know why they are leaving. If your ex didn’t tell you the exact reason for breaking up with you, then I am sure you are always thinking why your ex left you. Well, every relationship is unique and so is every breakup. I can’t tell you what the reason for the breakup was in each particular case. But in most of the cases, there was something missing in the relationship that made them end it.

In some cases, even they don’t know exactly what was wrong with the relationship. All they knew was they weren’t satisfied with it and they wanted to end it. In such a case, they will probably say something like

“I am not attracted to you anymore. These things happen, you just can’t explain it”

Or

“I am not in love with you anymore. I think we were made to be just friends.”

They are not intentionally lying, so don’t try to pry out a more a solid reason out of them.

You need to learn about the three important pillars of a relationship and find out which one lacked in your relationship. Every relationship needs three things

1. Love/ Connection/ Attraction – How much attracted you both are to each other. After the honeymoon stage of a relationship, the attraction starts to fade away and if you don’t know how to maintain it, your lover might soon start thinking that the relationship is not right for them. If this was your problem, then I have good news for you. You can create the attraction once again (by following the 3 step plan to win your love back). Since they were attracted to you at one point of time, it is very likely that they will be attracted to you once again. You just need to make the right moves at the right time.

2. Intimacy/ Sex – Were they not satisfied sexually? Although this is not as big a reason as no. 1, there can be some cases where the lover leaves because of lack of intimacy.

3. Security – Both Men and Women need a sense of security in a relationship. We need a certain someone to be always there for us. Do you feel like you can always rely on your partner no matter what? Is there a future in the relationship?

No matter what the reason for the breakup was, you can always work on the relationship together. The sad part is your partner has already broken up with you without working on the issues. But the good news is that you can still make your relationship work again if you follow the 3 step plan.

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How to React When You Meet Your Ex at a Party?

If you’ve read the 3 Step plan, then you know that I highly recommend not contacting your ex for a short period of time when you are working on getting your ex back.

But, what should you do if you meet your ex at a party? Should you snub them? Should you go to them and start pouring your heart out? Should you have a drink with them?

Well, if you find yourself at a party with your ex and you are still in the no contact period. Here is what you need to do.

As soon as you enter the party, find a group of people you can feel comfortable with and hang out with throughout the night. Stick with the group of people for most of the time.

You don’t want to start talking to your ex right now because you are in the no contact period and talking to them might really screw up the main purpose of the no contact period. However, you also don’t just want to blatantly ignore them because that will be rude.

Ideally, you want your ex to come and talk to you. If they do come and talk to you, just a little chit chat won’t hurt anyone. Make sure you have an excuse to get away from the conversation. Try to keep it as brief as possible. Once the conversation has run its course or you feel it’s getting longer than it has to be, just make up something quickly and get away from them. You don’t even have to make up something, just tell them that you’ve got to get going or you have to get back to your friends. Be CORDIAL and TENDER. You absolutely must give the impression that you are having a good time at the party. But don’t overdo it, so it becomes obvious that you are trying to make them jealous.

If your ex doesn’t come to talk to you, just say a quick Hi right before you are about to leave. Like I said, keep it short and sweet.

Make sure that you moderate your alcohol consumption in a party where your ex is present. If you get drunk, then I guarantee you that you’ll do something stupid which will just blow your chances of getting back together.

party like a rockstar

Party like a Rockstar..But don’t do anything that you might regret

If you and your ex work at the same office, you can use the same formula of conversations whenever you feel it is impossible to avoid a conversation. Keep it short and sweet. Resist that temptation to talk about the past, the future, getting back together, asking them out for a date, or anything that isn’t allowed in the no-contact period. Remember, there is a time for everything and if you just follow the plan, you will become immensely attractive to your ex which will just make them fall in love with you all over again.

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When you feel rejected and lonely after the breakup, it is a knee jerk reaction to want to get back together. It is quite common for people to forget the true nature of their relationship in this stage. If the relationship was toxic, I will suggest that you just let them go and move on with your life.

toxic relationship

If your relationship with the ex was toxic, it’s best to just move on

Dr. Lillian Glass, author of Toxic People, describes a toxic person as “anyone who manages to drag you down, make you feel angry, worn out, deflated, belittled or confused.” You may find it difficult to admit that you were in a toxic relationship, especially after you broke up. Here are a few ways to tell if your relationship was (or is) toxic.

1. You used to feel sad or depressed about your relationship. You sometimes even cried on it.

2. Your ex wanted you to be always dependent on them.

3. When your ex did something for you, they used it to make you feel obligated.

4. Your ex didn’t want to see or talk to your friends or family.

5. Your ex opened your emails occasionally or showed up at your work unannounced.

6. Your ex said that the relationship would be much better if you would change.

7. You have gone out of your way many times to suit your ex’s demands.

8. You used to be afraid to speak the truth to your ex. You used to be walking on eggshells with your ex.

9. Your ex often used to accuse you of cheating and was overly jealous.

10. Your ex made you feel stupid or unimportant.

11. Your ex used to put you down verbally in private or in public.

12. You felt you didn’t have control of your life while you were with your ex.

13. Your opinion, accomplishment and thoughts were always devalued or neglected.

If you were in a toxic relationship you should be glad that it’s over now. If you are still in a toxic relationship, you can probably always sense that something is not right. In that situation, it will be best to just end the relationship somehow. If you feel it’ll be hard, then you should talk to your friends and family to get you out of it. If you are threatened and feel you are in danger, you can call The National Domestic Violence Hotline, (800) 799-SAFE.

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How to Get Your Ex to Call You Back?

This is one of the most common questions that I hear from my subscribers.

Well, if you’ve ever broken up with someone, then you know that calling them over and over again is definitely not the best way to make them call you back. It’s downright stalking. Not only that, it makes you look like a needy and clingy person who doesn’t have any self respect.

get your ex back

Don’t Hurt Your Chances. Don’t Act Like a Stalker

So, if you want to talk to your ex and want them to reply to your messages, here is what will NOT work

“Hey Cindy, this is the fourth time I am calling. I have left you three messages already. Please call me back. I really want to talk to you. Please Please”

Or

“Hey Cindy, this is an emergency. Please call me back as soon as possible.”

Now if you’ve already called them leaving these messages a hundred times, then you’ve actually hurt your chances. But don’t worry; there is a way to repair the damage. If you follow my 3 Step Plan, you will be able to repair most of the damage you’ve done. But of course, everything depends on your situation and how much you’ve screwed up.

One of the best way to get your ex call you back is to create curiosity. Here is a simple trick that I learned from the author of Magic of Making Up, T Dub Jackson.

Give them a call and say,

“Hey Cindy, I know it’s been a while but I really want to thank you for what you did. You have no idea how much it has helped me out and I would really like to thank you in person.”

See what’s happening here? You are creating curiosity with self interest. And it works like gangbusters. It will drive them crazy not knowing what is it that they did for you. It will be like when a tune is stuck in your head and you can’t remember which song it was from. They just can’t go on without knowing what you were talking about.

BUT, and it’s a big BUT, you should have something to say when they call you back. You can’t just say “Hey that was just a trick that I used to get you to call me back”. NO. That will get them pissed. You don’t want that.

You need to have an overall strategy. The phone call is just a part of the plan. What happens before and after phone call is what makes all the difference. And for that you need to read my How To Get Your Ex Back – 3 Step Plan.

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Should You Get Your Ex Back?

After a breakup, it is very very common for someone to start thinking about getting their ex back. But before you do anything to try to get your ex back, you have to be sure that it is a good idea. The fact is your breakup happened for a reason. And maybe it is better to just let go and start dating someone else.

So how do you know if you should get your ex back, or you should move on?


1. Why do you want your ex back?

 


should you get your ex back?You can’t say things like,

“I am miserable without them.”

“I can’t love again”

“I will never find love again”

Those are just knee jerk reaction to a breakup. You have to pull yourself together and first realize that you can and will love again and you will live a long and happy life with or without them.

You have to be more specific. Think about your relationship.

Did you feel loved?

Did you feel respected?

Were you two happy together?

Were you two honest about your feelings?

Did you really cherish the intimacy in the relationship?

Were you the only who sacrificed in the relationship or you both tried to make things work?

Questions like these will give you a better idea about your relationship and whether or not it is worth pursuing your ex.

Another important question you should ask yourself is

2. What would be different this time?

 


The fact is something went wrong in the relationship. And if you are not sure what it was, then it will happen again. You have to be specific about what went wrong and what will be different this time. Don’t say generic statements like

“I will love them more”

“I will try harder”

If you find yourself saying things like that, then it means you are not sure what went wrong in the relationship. And that just means that it will happen again.

Unfortunately, many breakups are so confusing that you just don’t understand what went wrong. Many times your ex would have used some old cliché to break up with you. Leaving you confused about why they broke up. It is essential that you understand what went wrong before you try to get your ex back.

Now, if you are sure that you want your ex back, and you have a good reason for pursuing your ex, you should go ahead and read my 3 step plan for getting your ex back.

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4 Sneaky Signs Your Ex Still Likes You

There is a thin line between love and hate. If you think your ex hates you, then you still have a good chance getting them back. You see, hatred is just an emotion, and just like love it’s meant only for those who we really care about. It’s not hatred that you should be afraid of, it’s indifference. If your ex is indifferent, then you have a problem. If they hate you, love you, angry at you or have any type of emotion for you, then you still can hope.

emotional ex

Any type of emotion is good, even anger

It is quite easy to figure out if your ex still likes you, or if they still have feelings for you. You can easily spot these sneaky signs if your ex likes you –

Sneaky Sign No. 1: Emotions

If there is any type of emotions involved when your ex is talking to you or they are talking about you to someone else. Any type of emotion would do, even if they seem angry at you.

Sneaky Sign No. 2: Contact

If there is still some type of contact between you two. Many times, after a breakup, your ex would want to keep in contact. They would say they want to stay in touch and be friends. This is a very good sign, because why else would they want to stay in touch with you unless they have feelings for you.

Ex beign competitive

It’s a good sign if they are being competitive

Sneaky Sign No. 3: Being Competitive

Sometimes your ex will try to be too competitive and show you how well they are doing after the breakup. They will try to sort of rub it in your face that they are doing better than you, having a better time than you. In reality, they are trying to over convince themselves that they have gotten over you, even though they still have feelings for you.

Sneaky Sing No. 4: The Push/Pull Psychology

Push/Pull psychology is when your ex wants to be with you one minute and the other minute they are trying to stay away from you. This is sign that they are not sure of their feelings yet and are trying to fight with the conflict in their mind about you. This is a good sign because this actually means that your ex still thinks about you a lot. Sometimes they listen to their heart and give in to their temptation of wanting to see you and sometimes they listen to their brain and decide it is best to stay away from you.

Take note that these are the signs that your ex still has feelings for you. This does not necessarily mean that they want you back. It just means that there is a very good chance that you can be together, if you play your cards right. Remember, stay calm and don’t do anything stupid that will give them a reason to become indifferent. Check out my How To Get Your Ex Back – 3 Step Plan.

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7 Tips to make your husband feel special

A big part of valuing your relationship with your husband is being able to find ways to show him just how much you appreciate and love the old lug. All too many times we forget to take those extra little steps in order to make him feel special and wanted. Don’t overlook the opportunities you have to make this happen, you might be surprised at all the small ways you can show your affection.

1. Make Him a Special Meal

You probably put together plenty of meals for your man already, but take the time to create his favorite dish especially for him once in awhile. Even if you aren’t fond of his favorite foods, it shows a lot when you’re willing to prepare them for him. Another option is to cook a fabulous, romantic dish complete with candle light and some quiet music. Make this night happen when your schedules aren’t crazy so you can really take the time to sit down, relax and laugh with each other.

2. Don’t Overlook His Successes

Even the small things that make him proud should make you proud too, so share it with him! There is nothing wrong with congratulating him in an excited way when he tells you all about his skills on the golf course that morning. Bake him some cookies when he finishes up a project around the house and a thanks. Your husband wants to be your hero, and the best way to make him feel as though he’s doing a good job, is to praise his efforts and his successes.

3. Leave Him Notes

You might be worried that he’ll think you are silly but the truth is that he’ll love to find little notes in his lunch bag, his briefcase or even left near his razor. The note doesn’t have to be long and drawn out but instead a simple "Love Ya!" or "You’re Hot!" is the right kind of vibe for these notes. Be forewarned, leaving many of these notes might create a wild man in the bedroom!

4. Help Him out Around the House

Just because you both might happen to do specific chores around the home doesn’t mean you can’t help him out once in awhile. Taking out the trash, washing the car or even mowing the lawn without expecting anything in return can really show your husband how much you appreciate what he does around the house.

5. Bring the flirt On!

Being married for awhile tends to put the brakes on flirtatious behavior. Don’t let this happen to you and your man. Instead, consider rubbing his leg with your foot under the dinner table or whispering a little something into his ear when asking if he’s ready for bed. Sparking up a flirty phone call in the middle of the day might be just the thing he needs to put a smile on his face for the rest of the day.

6. Do Something He Likes That You Normally Wouldn’t

If he’s into seeing action movies but he can never get you to go to the movies with him, invite him out to see the newest movie you know he’ll love. You never know, you might very well end up liking it as well. And worse case scenario, at least you’ll know what he’s talking about when he spends the next hour telling you what he thought about the movie himself. Besides, you can hold him to joining you for a movie he might not be that thrilled about some time in the future!

7. Give Him an Entire Day Off

Your husband no doubt works hard for you and your family, and he deserves some time off just like you do. Give him one by bringing him breakfast in bed and letting him watch movies all day in the room. He can spend some family time during dinner and then you guys can retire into the room for the night-together for some alone time. He’ll wake up relaxed, happy and ready to get to those household chores on Sunday morning!

Use your imagination and be creative. Consider cards, flowers, some lingerie, a night out at the park or even reservations at a little hotel somewhere nearby. There are no limits when it comes to expressing your love, so take advantage of everything out there that will help you do it.

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