How To Get Your Ex Back – 3 Step Plan

breakups are reversible

In most cases it’s possible to reverse a breakup. Is yours?

Are you hurting from a breakup?

Does everyone you talk to tells you that it’s over, to let it go and move on?

But what if it didn’t have to be over?

What if you want to fight for this relationship and win your ex back?

My name is Kevin, and I am writing this 3 Step plan to help you get your ex back, even if you think your situation is hopeless.

Breakup is a terrible experience. It leaves you in pain, feeling depressed, angry and often very confused. It is common to be needy at this time. But if you want to be together with your ex, you will have to be calm, unresentful, and HAVE A PLAN. Most of the breakups are reversible and if you do the right things at the right time, then you will have your ex back in your arms.

I am here to help you devise that plan. Don’t worry, it’s not some mind tricks that you will have to play on your ex. Playing mind tricks is not the way to go if you want to have a long term healthy relationship with your ex. This plan is based on human psychology and how to use its principles to have a happy relationship with your ex. I encourage you to read everything in this 3 STEP PLAN and then take action. I can only tell you what to do, but until you actually do it, you won’t see any results.

In the first part of this 3 STEP PLAN, I am going to tell you what are the biggest mistakes that people make after they’ve broken up. These extremely common mistakes end up hurting your chances of getting back together. This is perhaps the most important part of this series so make sure you read each and every point and follow it.

#1 Begging, Pleading, Being Too Needy

begging and pleading won't get your ex back

After a breakup people make the biggest mistake of begging their ex to take them back. I know it seems like the right thing to do right after a breakup BUT IT’S NOT. In fact, it is the worst thing you can do at this moment.

Nobody wants to be with a needy person. Pleading and being needy is unattractive and is only going to push your ex further away from you. It will only make them think that they made the right decision by breaking up with you.

#2 The Doormat Syndrome

Being a doormat won't get your ex back

The Doormat Syndrome in relationships is going out of your way, sacrificing your own happiness to please your partner. It means accepting everything that your partner wants you to do without having any demands of your own just to get back with them.

If you find yourself saying things like, “Please stay, I will do anything for you” then you may be suffering from the doormat syndrome.

You don’t want that. Nobody wants that and for two very solid reasons –

a) It’s unattractive. Nobody is attracted to someone who doesn’t have their own opinion, needs, or their hobbies. So being a doormat will most likely be futile if you want your ex back.

b) Even if it does work, you will have an unhappy and smothering relationship which probably won’t last very long. And I am sure that’s not what you want.

#3 Text Terrorism and Drunk Dialing

drunk dialing will hurt your chances of getting your ex back

Alcohol and phone DO NOT go together

This is again a very common mistake and yet detrimental to your chances of getting back together with your ex. People go out to have a few drinks trying to have a good time and the next thing they know they are calling their ex and making a fool out of themselves. Avoid this at all cost.

You have to make yourself scarce if you want to be together with your ex (explained in STEP 2 of this plan). Texting them all the time and calling them just shows that you are too needy and don’t have anything else to do. As I said before, being needy is unattractive and you want to avoid this at all cost.

#4 Smothering Them With Affection

I love you is not something your ex wants to hear right now

Saying “I love you” will NOT help your case

The logical approach to get your ex back seems that you should tell them how much you care for them and how much you love them as soon as possible before it’s too late. But trust me it’s not a good idea.

Well, chances are your ex knows that you love them and they know how much you care for them. In fact, if they were in a relationship with you, then they care for you too. But they decided to breakup anyways, didn’t they?

“I love you” and “I really really care for you” isn’t what your ex needs to hear right now. Smothering them with affection may even push them further away.

 

#5 Giving Them All The Power

At this point, even if it was your ex who broke up with you, you don’t want to give them all the power. You don’t want to be the one who is always available for them. You don’t want to be their contingency plan.

Acting like your life is over without your ex will only lose their respect for you. In the history of breakups, no one has ever taken their ex back out of pity. So, doing such a thing is only going to hurt your chances.

nobody takes their ex back out of pity

No one takes their ex back out of pity. Not even this kid’s ex.

#6 Freaking Out When Your Ex Starts Seeing Someone Else

After a breakup, you feel depressed, angry confused, shattered, and are really hurting. At this moment, if your ex starts seeing someone else, it just tears you apart. You feel even more depressed and confused. And usually, when your ex is in this rebound relationship, they seem to become too intimate too fast, which makes it even worse for you, for example it took them 5 months to get physical with you and they are already sleeping with this new person who they are going with for only a week.

In this situation, DON’T FREAK OUT. Rebound relationships happen after a break up, it’s very very normal. But the good news is that they don’t last. And the reason why they became so intimate with this new person so fast is because it’s hard for a person to go from being so intimate with someone to being completely single. That is why most people (especially girls) will become intimate very soon with their rebound relationship because they are trying to get to that level of intimacy that they had with you. But usually, the faster the rebound relationship progresses, the faster it ends. They will soon realize that the new person isn’t right for them and they were just being intimate to quench their thirst for intimacy. And once they do realize it, they will break up with them.

rebound relationships

Rebound Relationships are like Ice Creams. They aren't healthy and they don't last long.

So if your ex is seeing someone else, all you have to do is just be cool about it. That’s all. Sometimes, they start seeing someone else just to rub in your face that they are moving on. And you should not react to their relationship by telling them they are doing a mistake and they shouldn’t be seeing this new person. This is because if you tell someone to don’t do something, then you can rest assured that is exactly what they will do. In fact, if you do so they will go to the extent of prolonging their rebound relationship just to prove you wrong.

Instead if you do something opposite, and act indifferent to their new relationship and just concentrate on your own life (career, hobbies etc.), it will get them thinking. And their rebound relationship will end soon like all other rebound relationships.

Now the above mistakes look innocent but are fatal for your chances to get back together with your ex. So make sure you don’t do them. I know most of the advice I gave above is counter-intuitive, BUT IT WORKS.

At this point, you may be thinking what if I’ve already made these mistakes?

Don’t worry if you’ve already made these mistakes. Like I said, they are very common and chances are that most of you reading this would have already made some of these mistakes. It’s still not too late. You still have a good chance of getting your ex back. I just ask you to not make any of these mistakes anymore. If need be; print this page out and keep it with you all the time so you don’t do any of these mistake again.

Now That we have covered what you need to avoid, we can move forward to what you need to do. Click below for Step 2.

CLICK HERE FOR STEP 2

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Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Liz January 29, 2012, 11:48 pm

    I just gave my boyfriend 19 missed calls when he finally picked up I told him I was getting a train half way across the country to meet him even though he told me not to. We’re back together. Sometimes you have to fight for love.

  • Tom January 30, 2012, 7:51 am

    I have made all of the mistakes above, and very recently too. She knows I love her and she told me “I know you do. You don’t always have to say it.” I keep making these mistakes though because I’m afraid that if I don’t show her how much she means to me that she will think I don’t care. Sigh…. I have no intention on giving up on her (plus our 4 year old Daughter won’t let me). She has met another man, and their relationship has just progressed quickly. It’s devastating to me when she is with him. But she will come and visit and talk to me and be very nice to me. Except when she is around him. She won’t even tell him when she sees me. We don’t have sex or anything when she does, just plan for our Daughter or go to eat. Basically I’m just confused, and she seems so intent that we are over, but I think she is just as confused as I am.. I love my family and she and our Daughter are the best family I ever had and could ever imagine. Everyone tells me to let go, HA, I have always, and always will, FIGHT for my family.

  • lauren January 30, 2012, 2:13 pm

    I was in a relationship with this guy for about 3 months but then I found out I was moving overseas & that hurt me cause I only had 1 month left with him, but 2 month after I left he was moving over too so it wasn’t as hard as it would’ve been.. but anyway.. the month before I left we spent everyday together it was great. He came to the airport with me & my family I couldn’t stop crying we held each other & cried, he rang me everyday for a week he told me he hasn’t been out since I left but then he rang me the next week. He was drunk, we talked for a bit then he had to go so he said he was gonna ring back later. This was on the 22nd Dec 2O11. I was waiting for his call he didn’t ring & he still hasn’t since then 🙁 Then I found out he has a new girlfriend. But he didn’t break up with me? So I’m like confused, angry & sad; it hurts so bad, as much as I want to move on.. I can’t! It’s hard, I feel like an idiot!

  • olgar January 31, 2012, 8:39 am

    I am dating someone who dumped his wife and he has three babies with that women they have three years breakup now so I love the guy and he also loves me too but I have a fear because I think he will go back to his wife and he is trying to make me feel safe but I am not well when I think about his ex wife. What can I do or what do you guys think about this? Please help me.

  • John February 1, 2012, 6:49 pm

    Was with my girl for 5+ years. We had a semi-open relationship. (new women only) She was my rock and support system. We lived together and were around each other 24/7. Honesty is what allowed our relationship to continue. We had arguments before but never a break-up like this.

    3 weeks ago she abruptly moved all her stuff out over a small argument (I know with women things accumulate) to go live with a girl I introduced her to through a dating website. She met this girl the day before, and I suppose they have been living together these past 3 weeks. I went to her job the day of the break-up and a week later to show her I was remorseful. She does not answer my calls or texts. She refused my advances, rose and letter. And openly flirted with a male full time server @ steak n shake (her current job). I asked why she was showing such disrespect with a guy that was not her type after 5+ years, her response was: “to get over you.”

    I have used the no contact rule the past 2 weeks to try to get a hold of myself and gain some perspective. But I am losing my mind and would literally do anything to get her back. Been on a couple of dates but it does not matter who I am with, she is all I think about. 5+ years we have been all we ever needed, how can she attempt to turn the page so quickly? How can I get the person that loved me back by my side as soon as possible? Please Advise!

  • Lizzy February 3, 2012, 7:05 am

    My ex and I first went out in high school I broke it off cause I graduated, had no license and we lived too far apart. It took him a year to forgive me. Then he chased me for 5! I finally gave in and we started dating in 2005 we had our first son in 2006 and our second in 2010. Throughout our relationship we had many ups and downs. In October of last year he went on a week long hike where he met a girl who turned 16 on it. (he is 26 & I am 28). When they got back I was warned they gotten a little close. I kept my eye on it. Hiss fb & his phone. I felt things changing daily, he got snappy, didn’t smile, stopped saying he loved me and stopped touching me. Yet I asked him via text were we ok and was he still in love with me he said yes he was and we were ok! We had a counseling session where he admitted he didn’t care about me anymore just our boys. That hurt so the next morning I sent him a text saying ‘goodbye’. I then went and stayed at my mums to think things through. The next day he phoned to say he had changed the locks and when I wanted my stuff I needed to let him know so he could be home. I had only gone to my mums to think if fighting for us was what I wanted. The next Wednesday he went to the movies with his little 16 yr old GF, I later found out they had been emailing since the hike and have now been a couple pretty much since the day I left.

    I love him so much. It’s been 12 weeks I want him back but he claims he is going to spend the rest of his life with her. My question is do you think it will last with them (16 and 26, she is still in high school) and is there anything I can do to help us become friends again and maybe get back together in the future. As I know he has done wrong but I’m not perfect either and just want my family back. We have a 12 year history, his love can’t have just disappeared.

  • Graziela February 4, 2012, 6:10 am

    My boyfriend dumped me because I forgave someone that I wasn’t suppose to… and since then, I’ve been missing him like crazy. My best friend thinks that he still has feelings for me because he keeps on looking at me. But I don’t think so. One day, I asked a friend of my ex boyfriend if he likes someone else, and the friend said yes. My ex boyfriend actually love that person and it’s tearing me apart. I’ve been feeling miserable and its been 5 months after the break up and I still love him..

  • Graziela February 4, 2012, 6:11 am

    Please give me some advice to make him love me again… I want him to be my valentine…

  • mitchy February 4, 2012, 6:29 am

    Okay my ex broke up with me like a year ago and yes I see him around school (cause we attend the same school) and yes I haven’t been over him as you can tell. I mean I haven’t dated any guys cause I’m still in love with him and he told me he wants to get over me and all that bullshit but he finally told me that he doesn’t like me and thinks I’m ugly. But it’s funny cause he has been staring at me all the time (My friends told me) and when I look at him he looks the other way! So idk what to say about that? So we haven’t talked in 7 months! You think I still have a chance with him cause when we were together we laugh 24/7 and very open towards each other but one day he just left and doesn’t find me attractive anymore! It shocks me cause he has a huge heart and I’m a christian and I forgave him even after all the tears I went through! Do you think I have a chance? And maybe start being friends too see where we at?

  • Meg February 5, 2012, 3:39 am

    I was really close to a guy, we were like best friends anyway but started getting really flirty with each other. Then a few months later we started officially going out! I was so happy with him and he cared a lot about me, he has to be the nicest most genuine person I know! But after a couple of weeks of our relationship he started acting weird and he said that we ‘didn’t talk’ even though we were always together and talking and he said he wanted to be friends again so I went along and agreed to just be friends but it really hurt me! I tried telling him how I felt but it was no use and he was fixed on breaking up! Anyway, it’s been about 2 months and I still really miss him! Is it too late for me to get him back? If not can somebody help. Tell me what to do? Please x

  • Confused February 5, 2012, 5:01 am

    My boyfriend asked for a break after we had this huge argument about a month ago, we did have arguments here and there in the past 2 years. Some were quite serious but we’ve never broken up or taken a break before. He says I don’t respect him and that he doesn’t have time to be in a relationship anymore. He is 7 years older than me and is a divorcee. I still do love him and I want to get him back..and I know he still cares for me..though he has told me that he doesn’t have feelings for me anymore. The confusing part about the whole break is that we still live together and share the same bed cause we both don’t have the funds to look for another place. I still feel like his GF cause I still do his laundry, clean up after him, make sure there’s food on the table, have sex with him and we even still sit and watch movies together but the only difference is he is not that affectionate or loving anymore. He says I should just take it easy and see what happens between us. And I am trying to, but it hurts being in this situation. And I’m trying my best to change and respect him but even if he is noticing it he doesn’t seem to be making any comments. I really don’t know what to do..I just want to make him mine again..

  • Jennifer February 5, 2012, 5:46 am

    You should date others. I bet he will feel different about you when he finds out. I know it goes against your instincts but that’s not working for you so try something that might work.

  • kylee February 5, 2012, 8:13 am

    So my boyfriend is a Marine and he came back on leave and the first four days were wonderful. Well not completely wonderful because the second night he came back he got very angry at me because he said that I’d rather hangout with my friends than him. He posted on Facebook (which he never posts anything on Facebook) saying, “Oh ya I feel real loved, she’d rather hangout with her friends than me.” By the way I did choose my friends over him because I was already with my friends. He then came to my house the next day and everything was better, we just hugged for two hours. The next two days were fine, but then randomly one night he texted me asking to talk and to come to my house. He broke up with me, I was definitely shocked. He told me what if something were to happen to him while he was away and did not want to put that on me, and he also said he wants me to be happy and doesn’t want me to be sad while he was gone for those long periods of time. He even used the line, if you love someone you set them free….. I was pissed. But a few days later I accidentally (Not an accident hah) sent him a forward. It was like a forward saying to guys saying to get to the hookah lounge blabla. He texted back immediately asking when I was going, I did not reply for about thirty minutes, and he texted me again asking if I was there. I finally replied saying, yeah why whats up. He then told me he was coming to see me real fast, and I obviously said OK see you then. He kept texting me saying whats up but I didn’t reply till he said he was outside. I then went outside of the lounge and we sat and talked for about 20 minutes. We talked about us for about a minute. Then we said our goodbyes. I then called him like an hour later asking him if we would mind to take me home, and he said yes and came to pick me up. We then texted the next day, then the last day of his leave we texted but he stopped texting back. We have not talked since he went back to the Marines. I don’t know if I should try to contact him… or leave it be and wait till he misses me?

  • kylee February 5, 2012, 8:14 am

    Didn’t choose my friends over him because when he called I was already with my friends and just couldn’t get up and leave because we were eating. He got mad because I didn’t invite him but I was with a bunch of gay guys, and I thought he may be a homophobe?

  • ray February 5, 2012, 7:59 pm

    My girlfriend broke up with me after being on and off for twenty years. We had gotten engaged then I got locked up. She took it as a sign that we were not to be. I have 16 months left before I get out. She said she loves me and does not hate me and said if we are meant to be together it will happen when I get out.. Advise please.

  • feme February 6, 2012, 5:50 am

    I met this guy on online dating site and we chatted about a month and he decided to meet me and we had a nice and fun time together. We’ve been so in love with each other and it for only 2 months. He is from Sweden and I’m working in Norway, so when my contract ends I got back to my home country. From my first week that got back, we were always chatting, but then got lesser and lesser time chatting with me. So I asked him if there’s something wrong but he says nothing til time came by that always says he is tired and no time to talk to me. So I said awful things to him but he didn’t say anything til now and that really hurts. So I asked for apology for all what I have said and begged him to come back to me but still no reply. I also sent him a message on FB after a week, said “just want to let you know I miss you, take good care” but no answer:( What will I do? hope you can help me….thank you

  • Farzhad February 6, 2012, 6:43 am

    I have been with my girlfriend for 4 months and two days ago she broke with me. The reason was the I needed to become more and that she didn’t like my personality at all. She told me I’m not her type and all. And she told me to talk with her in school after 3 months because we have O levels coming up soon in May. What can I do make her love me again? She said I’m a nice guy and all but she says to change myself.

  • Jeff February 6, 2012, 4:24 pm

    Hey my girlfriend of 10 years broke up with me because she wasn’t happy with the way things were going. She broke up with me a month ago and is now seeing someone else. I think it’s rather quick but that is what’s happening. IS there anyway to save this?

    • booboo March 3, 2012, 10:15 am

      I’m sorry to hear this 🙁 What I would do is talk to her. Ask her what was wrong in the relationship, ask what needed to change….10 years is a long time so there is love there. When you find out what went wrong think on it and make sure you can fix it and still be yourself and happy. With good luck hun.

  • Kaitlin February 7, 2012, 12:57 am

    I recently just went through a horrible break up. Its been 4 months. I was with him for 3 years. To this day no matter what I do I can’t stop thinking about him. I was the one that broke up with him, and now I realize that I am still in love with him. And now I do things that I never usually did when I was with him. I go out, drink, find one night standers. My ex has heard about them and every time he finds out about them he texts me and says rotten things about how jealous he is. But he won’t get back together with me. Sometimes when he finds out about these men he tries to make me jealous with women he is not even seeing. And then later he says how there is no woman. I don’t understand this and I don’t understand why this is happening I want to be his friend, but then I don’t. I want to be with him again but then I don’t. I love him… and I want him….please… I need help. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat… I can’t sit at home I can’t …just can’t..

    • Clement February 19, 2012, 3:56 pm

      I felt the same way that you feel (feel guilty of doing the things I’ve done), but I am the one that who mucked up my relationship with my ex girlfriend. I still love her even though she broke up with me for about 5 months? She even deleted me on Facebook (to me she’s an understanding wonderful girl that I’ve ever met) I see her everyday at work, and it’s so hard to get over her, especially she’s trying to avoid me and it hurts so much cause she’s the one that I used to share my feelings to. The one who’s always been there for me when I was going through hard time. I can tell you many good wonderful things that she has done for/to me. The first few months I couldn’t sleep, kept on thinking about her, cause I see her everyday etc. It’s hard, I understand totally, to get over someone that you truly loved, but think of the positive, you’ve learned something new. Those experiences, the mistakes that you’ve made during the relationship, so when you find your next love you will prevent those things to happen again, and you would appreciate him more. Find some true friend that they can share your feelings to, it’s important, because they won’t judge you, and provide valid feedback, and do some interesting things e.g. read books, learn new things. Let him see that you are different but in a good way. Hope those tips help you feel better, cause it works for me good luck 😉

    • saul February 19, 2012, 9:16 pm

      Listen Katlin truth is he wants you back too. I’m a man and I understand this feeling that is how I’m feeling now. He misses you too but doesn’t know what to do. You should be his friend first. Don’t go straight up asking him out. So be in the friend zone and make sum flirty moves after a while. Trust me.

    • Jordan February 22, 2012, 1:54 am

      Kaitlin this situation is exactly the same as mine!!! I have been having one night stands thinking it will cure my pain but it just doesn’t. I miss him so much but after reading what you shouldn’t do on here kinda leaves me with no hope lol. Every single thing you’ve said I’m going through and I completely feel your pain!!! Its nice to know you’re not on your own with these feelings. x

    • booboo March 3, 2012, 10:19 am

      Lay it all down with him. Tell him why you broke up with him and why you wish you didn’t…..if after this he still will not get back together with you, I know it will take time, but move on. Your prince is out there somewhere and I’m sorry to say but you wont find him once upon a drunken night. Ask friends if they know anybody.

  • Michael Provncha February 7, 2012, 4:53 am

    Well I am going to try these tactics! I really hope they work because I cannot get this girl out of my mind. Please wish me luck with this. I don’t want to love anybody else on this earth but her. <3

  • Hailey!! I want u back February 8, 2012, 6:20 am

    My gf just broke up with me and I’m so sad!!!:( It feels like I need her now to be complete. I’m gonna be lonely for valentines:( I don’t know what to do and I really care about her so much if she saw this IDK what she would say but be happy:( I’m not very good with talking to girls but Hailey is different. IDK why she broke up with me but ever since I was depressed. Hailey if u read this I’m so sorry but please come back to me.

    • Mildred February 22, 2012, 3:29 pm

      Hi i want you to give your Hailey some time. She too is going to feel the breakup then after sometime, send her a text and later leave her for a long time but meanwhile play have fun okay

  • broken heart February 8, 2012, 3:54 pm

    My GF broke up with me. We were in relationship since last four years..I didn’t have much time to give her but she was expecting a lot. Then we have completed our engineering. Then long distance relationship. She started loving someone else. When I found out I begged her. I cried. I started hurting me. But whatever I was doing to get her back she was going far from me. I never took alcohol during my engineering but now I am habitual of it. Her ignorance is killing me slowly. Still she loves someone else. My day starts with crying and praying to god and ends with alcohol. Please suggest me. I was a very happy guy. I used to laugh and made other laugh. But now I forgot how to laugh. Now I understood that she will never come back. So I told to my friends who are her friends also that I have a new GF. But I know that again love or relationship for me is not possible.

    • Latoya February 15, 2012, 6:37 pm

      Broken Heart, if someone knew the answer to getting over an ex and quickly, I think that person would be rich. But healing process comes to people at a different pace and it yes takes time. What I do know is, if you can surround yourself around good and positive people (family, friends). Take a trip, volunteer or just try a new activity, this might take some of the edge off. I saw that you believe in God. Yes, prayer is good thing too. Maybe even going to a counselor or some spiritual counselor, somebody to talk to, just help listen and mentor to you. Whatever you do, just don’t isolate yourself. Try to keep busy and slowly but surely you will see the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s a journey and sometimes it’s not going to be a good experience but you will learn from it and do better next time. Nobody is perfect and neither was she. See if everybody broke up at the same time and go into another relationship, then there really wouldn’t be much hurting and sadness. No stories to tell, nothing to learn from, nothing to gain. But through all of that, there is joy and there were good times and good things that came from it. So sometimes it sucks that you are not dealing with this break up as good as she, someone has to suffer, but it’s okay. You are not alone!

  • Alexis February 9, 2012, 3:46 am

    I was with this guy for almost a year now and we’ve been off and on. We dated about 2 1/2 months ago and it didn’t last long.. He started seeing some other girl and didn’t give me a reason. Then he asked for me back again and I gave him ANOTHER chance. We were really good for about 2 weeks (like always) and then start to part because he stops doing what it took to get me, when he gets me. I just found out that he’s texting one of my friends and wants to hook up with her. It’s hurting me because he’s doing stuff with her that he hasn’t done with me lately. I’m madly in love with him and I want him back but I don’t know if that’s a good idea or not.. I just want HIM. I can’t take my mind off of him. What do I do?! 🙁

    • Latoya February 15, 2012, 6:26 pm

      Alexis, sounds like this guy just isn’t ready for a serious or committed relationship. Going back and forth or taking a person back and then they turn around and leave you. This behavior only leaves you more and more confused and makes you obsessed with him over and over. That my friend is not healthy. You need to take care of yourself so you will be strong enough to resist this kind of behavior. If he keeps coming back and you keep letting him then what kind of standards are you setting? Remember you are the driver and you are in control. Don’t let your heart do all the driving you have to be smart too or it will leave you weak and confused and you will always take this guy back. It sounds like he is just playing to see if you are going to fall for him and when you do, he is no longer interested. Sounds like he is a serial dater. But you don’t have to tolerate it. I would try to build yourself up, stay grounded by talking to your family members, friends. Take up new activities (dance classes, sports, volunteering, job). Once you feel better about yourself and stronger then you can feel a sense of independence and control. So please take precaution and find out if and when he does return, why does he want to be with you. What will his intentions be with you this time. Short-term, long-term or just for fun? Because you need to find out what kind of person you are dealing with and by his answers you will know for yourself that you need to move on.

  • Rae February 9, 2012, 6:59 am

    I’ve been with the same person for 4 years. He asked me to marry him, we were planning a wedding. Then I came home one day he was gone.. it broke me bad.. after 8 months he came crawling back and I took him back. It has been two years and he sent me an email that we were done while I’m away. Fighting for custody of my daughter. After we talked cause we have some legal stuff pending together he says he wants to work things out and so now I really don’t know where we stand. I’m 4 hrs away from him and I don’t know how we can work on anything. The problem I’m having is letting go but I know I need too… I’m so lost and don’t know what to do anymore.

    • Latoya February 15, 2012, 6:14 pm

      Hi Rae, you all have a lot of history together and a child. What’s up with him always leaving and coming back? That’s not healthy at all for this kind of family. Maybe it’s best you see a counselor this time. I am not sure how old you all are. But there’s a reason he keeps coming and going and do you want that to be the story of your life? You need to set some standards for him. If he is going to be committed then he needs to work it out and you both get some help together to get to the bottom of why he keeps fleeing. If it’s a deeper issue and it’s not your problem then maybe it’s something that he has to work on. Maybe he’s having anxiety or doubts and get overwhelmed and doesn’t know how to deal with his feelings, emotions, etc. I don’t know the case. My ex of over 2 years did the same thing. Back and Forth, one foot in and the other out and I would break up with him cause I didn’t know if he was ready. Then we get back and then he would break up with me as soon as it got tough. He was afraid and scared. But I can’t live that kind of life never knowing when he’s going to come back and then leave. It’s mentally draining and stressful and you need someone that is always going to be there, regardless! That’s why I had to learn from my last experience. When I don’t get my way or get scared, we shouldn’t run but to sit down and get to the core of what’s “really” going on with US or the individual. Addressing the problem(s) is better than being in a relationship avoiding most of them until they spill over. I hope you are doing alright and everything works out.

  • mike m February 9, 2012, 7:12 pm

    I hope you have either a. moved on, or b. settled for a guy who wouldn’t cause you that pain. You’re so much better than that Casey. Life is beautiful and so short! Get everything out of it you can!

  • Marv February 10, 2012, 12:54 am

    Me and my girlfriend of 18 months broke up before Christmas. It was my fault, I was moody and grumpy and I guess maybe took her for granted. We have his & her tattoos, We avoided each other for a while until she saw me speaking to a girl in a club, she then approached me and broke down crying. Also my depressing tweets made her cry also… We got back together last week and we we’re both so happy constant kissing and hugging then Friday night at a club (I was drunk) I flipped when some guy was speaking to her which led to maybe we should be friends. We spoke since I’m the love of her life she says. I believe she is the one for me. She’s currently in new york and she’ll back next before valentines day. How can I get her back ?

  • alex barron February 10, 2012, 7:28 am

    SOMEONE PLEASE ANSWER MY QUESTION.

    Okay, so there’s this girl, we’ve been on & off for 7 months now. We’ve dated twice, which didn’t go too good. the first time we dated, we dated for 3 days. Due to trust issues, she told me she has never trusted me, the only reason she said yes was because she was already attached.

    The second time we dated for like two weeks, because she moved an hour away…and I’m only 14, so I can’t drive. I couldn’t deal with the distance and all.

    We talk everyday, all day long. I love her to death, we want to be together, but we don’t know what to do.

    ANY SUGGESTIONS?

    • kyli February 14, 2012, 1:09 am

      OK wow you’re young! But listen…..I say you both just be friends and talk on the phone…..focus on school and your future…if you don’t know who you are and where you’re going in life then you have no chance with a nice girl….focus on you!!!!! And being how young you are I highly doubt you know much about your life yet….even though “you” think you do. Be friends!!! In a few years if you still like each other then go at it and see….but right now “flirting” is a good idea but nothing serious yet.

    • Daniel martin March 14, 2012, 6:55 am

      That’s almost the same with me. We dated for a year, then she broke up with me. I was heart broken. Then we got back together for a week, then she broke up with me again and I don’t know why she says she is dating someone else everyday but that is not true. But still I’m only 12, so I can’t do some things to get her back but still someone help me.

  • sara February 11, 2012, 5:02 pm

    I’m almost getting mine back, but we went to the same dance and he was slow dancing with another girl 🙁

  • Sam February 11, 2012, 8:23 pm

    I’m a teenager and I like this guy and we were flirting a lot and then he got my password to an account and found out that I have guy friends and got jealous so he stopped talking to me for a week. Now we’re talking again and he already asked me to be his valentine but now when I ask what he’s doing on valentines day he says idk and when we talk he still flirts and calls me baby but I want advice on what to do and how to get him back. I texted him but he never responded and I don’t want to just let him go cause I really like him. Does anyone have any advice?

  • kate February 11, 2012, 11:03 pm

    Hi guys,

    Just wanted to leave a feel good story and fingers crossed give you some hope!

    I’d split with my long term ex and like many of you felt, as if my whole world had ended. I did the usual crying, begging, beating myself up, cover every detail of the break up. THEN, decided one day to actually do what I’d read and stopped harassing him with a thousand texts a day. This was by far the hardest thing I’d done, I kept thinking what if he forgets me or moves onto someone else (I became OBSESSED with that!!). But within two days he texted me. And in the weeks before ALL he had said was how happy he was without me etc, but these were different. At first he asked for sex but please please say no, see I know its hard but I promise you, you will better if you don’t do it. And then he started saying how he wished we’d worked and slowly we got round to talking about giving it another go. But I let HIM bring it up. The trick is let him miss you, and he will eventually. It’s not easy but I promise you things can and will get better, even if it seems hopeless.

    All the best and keep smiling

    Xxx

  • kat February 12, 2012, 1:09 am

    I found my love then lost him. I hated that it didn’t even affect him and he didn’t shed a tear. I went into a deep depression. I couldn’t laugh, when I tried I cried. Rumors spread quick my friends tried to help me but I turned away. I didn’t want help, I wanted him. Everyone was mad we broke up when we were together for a year. One day I realized all the scars in the world wouldn’t make him come back. Finally I started digging my self outta this hole, I was in I finally recovered for the break up . Then he asked one of my best friends out. I was shocked why, why me. I was so mad of course she denied, thank God.

    Every night I asked God for one more chance which never came even though I still love him. And I don’t know why it killed me inside. He knew it bothered me and my friends to see me in such bad condition. My friends tried to get him back with me. Finally I found out the reason why we broke up. His sister hates me. Well at the point I didn’t care if she hated my guts. Well he made me mad so I got revenge.

    I dated one of his friends, not the best solution but it was all I could think of. One week later we broke up. So I went with this other boy I liked. Well that lasted a little while. We broke up but there was one problem when I was dating these other people I still loved my first love. And he knows how I feel. I found out yesterday he still loved me. Well I don’t know what to think. I love him, he loves me, what’s holding me back? He has my heart, I’m just wondering why I don’t have his. Should I go back? I just miss him so much we where the couple that people thought would make it. But maybe love’s just playing tricks on my mind. But why do I love him so much? – Kat

    • Latoya February 15, 2012, 5:36 pm

      Hi Kat, you are really going to have to be strong sweetie and try to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep yourself and mind busy. Because if he is the only thing that makes you happy, then if you get back together and then he breaks up again with you, then you will feel worse again, right? So try to find a way to make yourself happy, day by day. Take baby steps and do something for yourself in a positive way. The last thing you want to do is turn your friends away, depend on them, this is those most delicate time for you and you need every body’s help, family and friends. Dating other people might fill the void but only temporary. It’s okay that you still love him and he was special to you — it’s okay to feel that way and you may feel that way for a while, but try to accept that it is over and may be for some time. If you get in your mind that it’s over and some how manage to keep yourself occupied and get to a better place and heal, then who knows what the future holds. But waiting and waiting and worrying is only going to make you more sad and depressed. I know how you feel and I hope you take this time to work on yourself, even if some days you feel like crying, but get it out, pray for strength, write it down, talk to someone, but just don’t keep focusing on him cause you won’t be happy either way. Some times God allows things to happen so we can depend on him and become better people for ourselves. I hope you are doing a little better.

  • Joe February 12, 2012, 3:09 am

    I asked my ex out and she said yes but then she decided she just wants to be friends but she has a lot of friends that are guys and I went to the mall with her as a friend and I was upset cause it brought back memories so she realized I was depressed and hugged me 4 times to try and cheer me up but I just stood there. Then she got mad so she asked me why I just stood there and I told her that I wanted to be more than just friends and now there is an awkward silence, what do I do?

    • Latoya February 15, 2012, 5:46 pm

      Joe, it sounds like your feelings for her are still strong and they are running deep down to your soul. So obligating yourself to her, just to be in her company as “friends” is not benefiting you whatsoever or making you happy. Maybe you should just take some time away from her so you can get to a better place of feeling comfortable being just “friends”. You are going to just make yourself miserable appearing to be “cool” with being her friend. You need to build yourself up again to feel good about being single/independent even if you and her never get back together. When you get to the place that you feel OK about it, then probably tell her you are ready to be friends with her. But do it on your own time, I am sure she will understand that. Sometimes we want something so bad that we can’t have but if it is truly ours then it was never gone in the first place. Time tells everything. Take time out for yourself and learn about somethings you may want to work on and change about yourself. This is a learning experience. It sucks but we have to push through it so we can get to a better and happier place.

  • nadia February 12, 2012, 5:43 am

    I miss my ex, we broke up about 6 months ago but still in touch with each other like a couple until he started to move on, I guess? He’s in Australia and I’m in Malaysia, he is so far away from me. He was here in December 2011. We dated twice, but it seems like it doesn’t work at all. He treated me cruelly. I tried to do everything he wants but it seems like my effort is such a waste. He went back to Australia already and didn’t contact me at all. It has almost been a month. He didn’t return my calls or contact me through whatsapp. I miss him and I need him, please help me 🙁

  • Aj February 13, 2012, 4:54 am

    I did everything you said not to do… what do I do now?…

  • Baylee February 13, 2012, 10:47 am

    I dated my GF for almost 3 years and we broke up after a stupid fight. I made a lot of mistakes listed here to try and get her back and she eventually did. And then we dated again for a month but then she dumped me after we got intimate for the first time. I feel like I was her rebound which is weird considering I’m her ex. What can I do to prevent this again? I’m 15 if that makes a difference.

    • sean February 16, 2012, 7:18 am

      Relax dude its easy I’m 10 I did the opposite of what he said to do. Flipped it. She started going out with this kid Jarret. I kicked his ass, got Kayleigh back. Kayleigh calls me her hero and Jarret calls me sir, it’s a good life.

  • kyli February 14, 2012, 12:55 am

    Hey, I know its hard but if you still need help here’s an advice…. you have to be honest with yourself, if you really think you didn’t do anything then time is important. Time tells all! If you’re in the wrong, then be humble and explain without fighting or getting at it with each other! Maybe it just wasn’t working, well then if it is meant to be then this is your opportunity to go out and discover who you really are. Enjoy yourself. If you can’t be happy by yourself then it will be even harder with someone. It’s hard to listen to anyone when you feel like this but try to stay positive and look at how much better life will get for you…this is temporary….if he is worth it….then while you’re waiting let him know your feelings and let it be for a while:) Hope I helped!

  • kyli February 14, 2012, 1:00 am

    I agree with Amel…guys you have to let the girl know how you feel! Otherwise how will they know!

  • Plastron February 14, 2012, 4:28 am

    So when my first girlfriend dumped me I was devastated. I texted her and texted her. I said I was OK with being friends, only to make her feel rejected…
    It was really crazy times, I broke a car window, and would leave notes in her car. Eventually I discovered a secret. A powerful yet effective secret. I’m serious. I want to share it with the world. I want to find out that at least another person tried it and it worked for them to. Here it is “I don’t love [Ex’s name]”. Repeat it to yourself, concentrate. The pain is part of the process. Repeat “I don’t love [Ex’s name]” until you think you have to.

    But before you do that, make the decision to yourself that you don’t want to love that person, and block numbers and emails.

  • Latoya February 14, 2012, 5:46 pm

    Hey Megan, I know it’s easier said then done. But at this point if you are not comfortable dating others, then in the mean time of waiting or trying to get back with your ex, don’t keep asking him, hanging out with him, talking all the time to him, as if he is going to become more and more interested in you. The more you work on yourself, keep yourself busy and do things that you like (hanging with friend, sports, hobbies, new things), then you will actually be making your self not so much available to him and appearing to not be so anxious to be with him, if you get what I’m saying. The more you get use to NOT being with him all the time, maybe through the new things that you are doing to build yourself up, then you will feel that maybe you don’t want to be with him, meet someone else or just choose to be single. Trust me, you will stress yourself out more worrying day after day if you are going to get back together. And if you wait and worry, well then how are you benefiting from this? How will he be interested in you or attracted to you again, if you are not making some changes in your life or doing things to better yourself. I hope that helped.

  • Latoya February 14, 2012, 6:04 pm

    Well Ethel, if you still love him, then talk to him and see what he has to say. People do deserve a chance to explain themselves especially if they didn’t do much to hurt you, but your feelings. You can either learn to forgive him and be with him or forgive him, hug or shake hands and move on, especially if you still have this desire to be with him. You may be afraid now, but what if you wait and look back regretting what you should have done all along. Call him up or agree to meet with him and see what he has to say, what’s the harm in that!

  • Hannah February 14, 2012, 7:12 pm

    So I started talking to this guy and everything was so great, then one day his ex called and he went back. It hurts so much because he said that he would never use me and stuff like that to the next day not even talking to me to the break up text? And now he is staying at her house. I know I need to move on and just deal with it but I am friends with his new girl on Facebook. And she saw that me and him started dating so I thought that she is just pissed so she took him back. I need some help with this.

    • Latoya February 15, 2012, 5:59 pm

      Hannah, it was a joint decision (on both guy and ex GF). So the guy that you were dating, he apparently wanted to get back with his ex. If she is playing him just to make you jealous and doesn’t really want him, then let him figure that one out for himself. If I was you, I wouldn’t be to concerned about taking him back, especially if he has just recently broken up with the girl. It’s never good to be the “rebound”. So I would take precaution as you don’t want to be used like that. Just count this as his loss and your gain, especially if you are ready for a new relationship. I don’t think he would be emotionally available to you starting a new relationship, don’t you think? So why drag it out and see where it goes, only for you to find out he was using you or discovering that he keeps running back to ex, texting and talking to his ex — too much confusion girl. If you are stable and emotionally ready to start dating and ready to be in relationship, don’t you want to start fresh with someone who has the same intentions in mind? You will find yourself stressed and exhausted and disappointed trying to win this guy over and for what? Plus there will be an ex involved too. Sounds like drama waiting to happen. Well you choose what you want to do and what you are willing to put up with. I wish you to look else where.

  • Janet February 16, 2012, 1:21 am

    Hello I’m in a relationship, we’ve been on and off. I’ve been worried, he had told me that it isn’t going to last. I’m trying to be good, show him my love, how can he see that spark again? How can he fall in love with that person he fell for? Why is he saying that it’s not going to last?

  • jossy February 16, 2012, 8:59 am

    My ex broke up with me, it’s been a week and two days, I miss him heaps and it’s so hard at home because I’m the oldest.
    But he has a rebound girlfriend and she is everything he said he didn’t like in a girl, how do I not get jealous?

    I mean I don’t wanna ring him like I have in the past and tell him how I feel because I’m just pushing him away. Please help?

  • alana February 16, 2012, 8:20 pm

    I met this lovely guy at college, we did everything together. He change all his bad way and I said to my self that this was a beginning of something wonderful, little did I know it wasn’t. I was a virgin, and I told him he would have to wait. After waiting 10 months he got tired of waiting and we actually had sex three months after his course ended. When he left people called him saying I was cheating, he believed and he said we should be friends but we still had sex for about two months after the break up. He said to me one day he is scared of his feelings for me they were too strong and he doesn’t know why he gets so excited around me. Is his feelings that bad? He still want to hug and kiss me if I allow him sex too. So what’s the problem and he finds a problem in me dating but doesn’t want to admit it and I hear he has a girl.

  • Ben February 19, 2012, 4:54 pm

    I’ve broken up with the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met. I had been with her for 2 years and she ended with me and a day later, she goes out with this guy who never liked me so I hope this advise helps me.

  • Sky February 19, 2012, 6:59 pm

    I love my ex girlfriend more then anything in this world. We started dating in Dec of 09 and broke up in Nov of 11. Recently she text me and told me she missed me and wanted to hang out. So we did. We hung out for a couple days and even started dating again. But she recently left again. 🙁 I’m broken in so many ways. I can’t eat, sleep. I feel like I can’t go on with my life because she’s not here. I want her back and will do anything for her to come back. What do I do? Please help.

    • Latoya February 27, 2012, 9:47 pm

      Sky, she sounds like she is not ready to be back in a relationship with you just yet. Maybe you should give her some space and some space for yourself to feel independent again and be in a better place. Right now you may not feel like that. But you got to do this for yourself. Or feeling depressed and down is definitely not going to make her fall for you again or want you back. Trust me, it’s been 5 weeks for me and I do cry once in a while, but I am getting stronger and better with every week that goes by. Writing is good, praying as well. Talking to your friends or someone you trust is good. But stay active no matter what you do, so that the time will go by. I don’t think it’s best for you to keep seeing you ex, cause it’s almost like once you see any hope for you all to get back together you then get happy again. But then when she back off, you are sad and she is not the person that controls your “happiness” YOU DO, my friend. Hey you will be Okay, just give it some time. I am sure if you all were meant to be together or be in each others lives, working on yourself and bettering your self will get you close to this point. The state that you’re in is not going to attract anybody. So think of it like that. Take care of yourself and I wish you well.

  • Justin February 20, 2012, 12:43 am

    My ex and I were together for ten years and have two kids together. We’ve had some time off from one another during that time. But this time it feels different. A week after she left I found out about a friend she had and now they were getting closer which I had my feelings was happening (late nights out or not even coming home to me at night). So at first I accepted it and it hurt but was moving on. I threw myself into the dating game and met someone who by now is ready to spend rest of there life with me, but I feel guilty cause I find myself saying things that are not true all the time just to make her feel good and get attention from her. It’s been two months since the ex left and I’m seeing that her new relationship is not heading in the direction she was planning on. I’ve really been struggling on my thoughts and worries of what is she doing and who she is spending her time with, and I’m constantly trying to stop myself from questioning her. I have some strong feelings for her still and honestly I want things to go back to the way they were. She has told me in person that she misses me and my mind is running wild. I feel terrible that I might hurt the woman in my new relationship but after reading many articles it seems it points to a re-bound relationship. It was never my intention to hurt anyone, but I feel guilty that I’m hiding my feelings about my ex from my current friend. All I can keep thinking is how I want it to go back and show that I do have feelings still for her and that the issues we had in the past I’ve worked on. Any advice will be helpful.
    Thank You
    Justin

    • Latoya February 27, 2012, 9:55 pm

      Justin, you hit it right on the head! She sounds like a “rebound”. The longer you progress or prolong this relationship, the harder it gets to break up with this person. You need to find a good way to let this girl down, so she can move on with her life and meet someone that is ready to give her what she is looking for. If you continue dating this girl, it will just lead into a bitter disappointment and women don’t like to be mislead. Before she grows deeper feelings for you, you got to let her know soon. Sounds like you don’t need to be dating anybody seriously PERIOD. Dating is okay, just to get out of the house, but that’s it! If you still have feelings for this woman and they are strong, well then you got to get yourself together and better yourself. That means doing something for yourself that doesn’t involve dating all the time. Take a boxing class or some kind of sport, or educational class. Something that you always wanted to do, but never had time to do it. Make time to do what you like or help someone else out, like volunteering or something. If you need to talk it out, then go to a mentor or counselor. But don’t try to stay in a lot of contact with your ex, cause they will just make it look like you always want her back. Of course you want to be in her life, but you sound like you have somethings to work on before all of this can happen. I hope that helped.

  • Sunshine929 February 20, 2012, 4:39 am

    My ex broke up with me about 3 weeks ago. I love him very much and want him back. I have partial seizures and I was supposed to be taking medicine for them but because of the side effects wasn’t. But I told him I was because I didn’t want him to worry. On a cruise I had an episode and when he asked I told him I wasn’t taking the medicine I have since then stopped drinking (he didn’t like that I drank too much)  and have been taking my medicine. I have made some real changes and I know he knows but I believe I lost his trust. He won’t even talk to me?? We were together almost 2 years. These 3 weeks have been horrible. What can I do? I miss him so very much. I’m trying to work on myself but.. I feel helpless.
    Please help…

  • Chrissie February 20, 2012, 7:08 am

    Someone help me please. My boyfriend of two years broke up with me last night saying he really doesn’t want a relationship. He’s been divorced twice and so have I. But for the last 2 years, he tells me how much he loves me and tells everyone we know I’m the best thing that ever happened to him. Up until 2 weeks ago, he was still making plans to go places with me, etc. The only thing I know for sure is that there’s no other girl. Please help, my heart is broken and I feel like my life is over.

  • J February 20, 2012, 1:40 pm

    My wife walked out after a 10 year relationship 6 of those years we were married. We had always been close with what we told each other was an unbreakable bond. She didn’t have the best relationship with her family growing up so I became her knight in shining armor if you will. While already having confidence and self respect issues, I made sure that I made her feel the best that I knew how. She loved that I was, as she told me, the kind of person that she wanted to be… Easy going, carefree, upbeat, funny and most important strong and confident. She became very comfortable in the relationship, so much so that she put on a lot of weight which looking back clearly exacerbated the underlying problems.

    Things were still OK between us but she hated herself. Then a few years ago I lost my job and she was not working and we both ended in a state of depression worrying about bills, feeling sorry for ourselves and wondering why us. We got through and both found jobs which now allow us less time with each other but unfortunately such is life. Since that state of depression we have both changed drastically. January of 2010 she made it her goal to lose weight and get back in shape which she did but also transformed emotionally personality wise. I on the other hand realized after she left that I somehow lost myself in her after my depression. Over the course of the last two years she changed mentally as well wanting different things and fighting with me more and more. Having the same arguments over and over again and nothing changing especially on my end looking back now. I now realize that the signs were clear and I heard what she was saying but I wasn’t listening. I was and am still caught in the grips of depression although not to the extent it was before. She said I controlled everything about the relationship most importantly her and I was the reason she didn’t have friends anymore saying I would get jealous if she wanted to have a drink after work with a female coworker. The sex was terrible when it happened, there was no romance, no spontaneity, no more spark like there used to be. I couldn’t make up my mind even about little things like where to go on our Saturday date nights, choosing to let her decide thinking whatever makes her happy is fine with me. Big mistake obviously. She told me she wanted romance, she wanted to be touched and made to feel like the woman she is, she wanted a MAN who would take charge and be strong and confident which she clearly wasn’t getting from me. Not the insecure jealous pathetic creature before her.

    She wanted the old me the way I was when we met and how I was for the first 6-7 years of our relationship and even told me that but I was so wrapped up in my own issues that every fight about this made me sink deeper instead of waking me up to the fact that real danger lye. I was resentful that I was there for her through a few years of her self-loathing and depression and took on the role of her provider and protector in everything no matter the cost and when I need her most all I got was chastised for my shortcomings and faults whether right or wrong. She started talking and texting back and forth with a supposed old college friend a lot over the course of a few days and when I was alerted by my cell company about overages and unusual usage I investigated and asked her who it was. She told me a girl friend from work. I called and of course it was a guy. When confronted she apologized for lying saying it was harmless and didn’t want to hurt my feelings or make me jealous. But the more we spoke about it and the few more lies I found about it made her flip it on me that she couldn’t believe I invaded her privacy, that she would never do that to me and she could never trust me again. Stating again about my control over her lack of freedom and friends she said she was drowning in the relationship and I was smothering her. We argued again about this friend who had all of the sudden come back and I told her again for the one millionth time I had no problem with her going out with friend’s guy or girl as I never not trusted her before but only now as long as it wasn’t him. She exploded telling me I’m checking up on her private things and I can’t tell her who she can and can’t be friends with. When she came home that night I had a few drinks and we fought and I was hurting so terribly that she would rather talk and text him than me (which she told me) and that she wouldn’t even tell me his name for fear of me ruining his life that I said many nasty things to her like she had done to me all of the fights before. She packed a bag late that night walked out and told me I was a psycho and we were done.

    I called her next morning apologizing and crying and told me we were done. Finally I got her to say she probably would not come back as it was a 90% chance that she wouldn’t and needed a break as I was smothering her and it could be a week or 2 or a month but did not want to see my face or hear from me. I let that go as it was better than an absolute no and told her that I wouldn’t text or call for a week. I know I haven’t been the best husband but I tried to love as much as I could give and I never did nothing intentionally to hurt her. I just want to fix myself for me and for us. I just need one more chance to make that happen. It is terrible that after 10 years it had to come to this situation to open my eyes but they say everything happens for a reason and I have always believed that. I’m hoping this is a blessing in disguise as I am sure that if this didn’t happen now with me finding out, there is no doubt in my mind now that it would have down the road and may have been too late. She has to know how much I love her and just hoping for one more chance. Thank you all for listening.

  • Cody February 20, 2012, 4:24 pm

    I have been in the saddest mood ever after I lost my girl after 3 and a half years:( I was told that we never clicked because we fought too much. The sad thing is she won’t give me a a chance to prove to her that it won’t happen. We been off and on a lot!!! I’ve been broken up with her for about 3 days. All she wants to be is friends. I want to be more than friends because she is the only girl that lights up my day. Every moment that I see her. She also told me she needs space to think about things. All I want is her in my arms right now. What should I do???? HELP ME PLEASE

  • Cody f February 20, 2012, 9:04 pm

    Hey I need some major help!!! Me and my girlfriend broke up 3 days ago!! She said she didn’t feel a connection anymore because I don’t give her space to hang with friends. I’ve been with my girlfriend for 3 years 6 months. All I think about is having her in my arms. But we don’t text anymore and she said she wants space to think. I want help and advice on what should I do when she says she just wants to be friends?? What can I do or say to make her come back to me?? I forgot to mention I work with her too so how should I go about it?

  • h February 22, 2012, 12:38 am

    It’s been 2 weeks since she broke up with me. She told me that she loved me and cared a lot about me, but she wasn’t head over heals in love with me. We were together for 3 years and had a lot of fun, then she said she was unhappy with our relationship. She even told me she cheated. We were best friends before we got together and after all that I still believe she’s the one. I talked to her a day ago and she told me that she was happy with the decision she made and that she wanted to be friends. What do I do because I want to be more then friends. I want to marry her. Do I still have a chance or should I give up? I tried the no contact thing for about a week, I’m starting over again. I’m going to the gym and taking better care of myself but what if she doesn’t come back or can I even get her back?

  • Anthony February 22, 2012, 10:41 pm

    So my ex-girlfriend of 1 year & 5 months broke up with me 2 days after Valentines. It was a mutual decision, but I knew inside I wanted to rebel and stay with her to give it another shot. But I wanted to respect her decision and so I did. I’m still hurting inside and I miss her so very much. I tried to give her the no contact, but sometimes after she finishes work she sends me a text. Heartbroken and so eager, I replied and it ends up a long conversation. Yesterday we hung out, and I tried to act if I was friends with her but I ended up making her feel bad for me and hurting myself as well. She always tells me she’ll always be there for me but she doesn’t want to have a relationship with me anymore, she doesn’t want to give me hope. I felt so heartbroken when she said that. After it was time to go, I made her feel cheery a little, and when I fully understood her words. She says she hopes that I will change for the better, and I responded “I will over time. And when I do reach that point, I’ll fight for you to be back in my arms” then she giggled. It was a nice way to end my day, but still it left heartbroken. Today, I stopped what I’m doing; texting, calling, and what not and start the real process. I just can’t get over her. I know in my heart she is the one for me. Do you think she’ll ever feel the same way for me when we started going out?

  • Shentoria Monae February 27, 2012, 3:10 am

    So, I’ve been broken up with my boyfriend for about a week now. I know it seems short, but hear me out. The reason he broke up with me is because I got intoxicated and acted inappropriately with an old hook up. Even though I was taken advantage of, he says he lost his trust in me. We’ve been close friends for about four years and started dating six months ago, but this relationship has always been extremely close. I love him more than anything, and I realize what I did was wrong. Since we were such good friends, no animosity is there and we both have been contacting each other lately through text. We also have to see each other every single day in class. Is it too soon to be talking? He seems like he’s trying to act as if he’s fine, yet I know in my heart I hurt him very badly. Can I do anything yet to get him back, or should I wait awhile more to let him heal, and remind him of the things he loved about me? Like I said, we both were close friends and want to still be friends but I just want to be with him again. Is there anything I can do? Any advice is welcome.

  • Latoya February 27, 2012, 9:41 pm

    Hi Loly, you say you all been on and off for 6 years? If it’s been that long, it doesn’t sound like it’s going to get any better. Maybe, you should realize that if he’s not going to be consistent and frequently neglects you and the relationship, then maybe you should start being single again to try to figure out what you really want in a partner, especially if you want to get married. It sounds like marriage is not going to make this better so please don’t do something that you might regret. If this is his personality, then you one, either have to suck it up and accept him for who he is or two, stay broken up and see try to date other people. Its a harsh reality, but if you are constantly the one that is changing and evolving and your man is not trying to keep up with you, then you will always be ahead of him and never be on the same page when it comes to what you both like from each other and want out of life. You can make him do that or put that kind of pressure on him. You have a lot of history with him, but it just sounds like he is not ready to “step it up”. You have to decide if you can live with that. Cause choosing the person for yourself and accepting a person for who they are is always best.

  • zombo February 28, 2012, 1:47 am

    So my ex is 20 and I’m 27. We were together for 2 and a half years. I cant stop thinking about her, it’s been a month. I’m gonna give this a whirl. I feel better even after reading it. Just gotta be strong, she is going from place to place doing God knows what and says she enjoys her freedom. Am I too late?

  • bri February 28, 2012, 5:29 am

    My boyfriend broke up with me after 8 months. It was right after valentines day and to be honest it was a bit shocking. He never really had a reason (a good one at least) and it really confused me and our mutual friends. I’ve been trying to give him space but I get really frustrated and because we have mutual friends we all still hang out. However, we no longer talk outside of the friendship and it really upsets me because he acts like we’re best friends and then ignores me outside of the hang out time. I haven’t seen him in a week and it really saddens me because reality is actually setting in. I really miss him and I don’t know what to do anymore. He hasn’t given me answers as to why he broke up with me. What do I do? What I have already done some of the above things? Is there anyway to turn it around?

  • Bob February 28, 2012, 5:31 am

    I broke my girl’s heart too many times. She won’t even talk to me, it hurts so bad.

  • QuaMain February 29, 2012, 4:33 am

    I just broke up with a girl for stupid reasons and I did it in a very rude way and I want her back but the thing was I was the rebound but she has loved me since Christmas break. BTW we are both in 7TH grade. What do I do? She doesn’t want the other dude back. I lie. She does but she still loves me. Should I wait a while and regain her trust for almost cheating on me. Help asap.

  • Pedro February 29, 2012, 6:16 am

    I broke with my girl so many times through out our 2 year relationship. I did it because I knew I would always get her back and I wanted to show her I was in control. But a month ago on new years we broke up because she couldn’t take it anymore and now she doesn’t want to date me anymore. I’ve tired everything there is to do.

  • Anonymous February 29, 2012, 6:10 pm

    I am a girl & I had a girlfriend who recently put me on a break, then broke up with me. I went to see her for her birthday just last week but everything felt so distant & I need help. I love her sooo much. We were together for 2 years and 3 months before she decided to just break off & for some reason I feel like it’s my fault. She told me I was being super negative that month and that she needed space and its literally driving me insane. I lost 16 pounds in literally less than 2 weeks and I just really need to get myself together. She keeps telling me things will fall into place for some reason I can’t believe it. I just don’t want to lose her I love her way too much. & honestly can see us being together for a while. We’re 2 of a kind. HELP 🙁

  • harshit March 1, 2012, 6:10 am

    You just leave everything on time. Don’t do anything to make him feel about you. You just behave like whatever he said you are happy with that. You will be definitely able to create feelings with time….

  • Yeng March 1, 2012, 7:14 am

    Me and My ex Penny Broke up since December. Its been quite a long time and I still miss her. I know that the past few month, I beg her to come back to me, Call her all the time and ask her for a second chance. She refuse quite obviously but she offered me as being friends after just because I beg for her to come back. She thought that it could be quite helpful to make us better too. But at the same time I guess I was getting frustrated thinking that being friends is unwanted and I wanted more than friends, I started talking to her friends about our problems maybe her friends can tell her about what needs to be done right between us but I guess It didn’t seem to turn out right. My ex yelled at me, thinking that I’m saying a whole bunch of crap about her that I was just blaming on to her. And this is where it gets ugly, She refuses to call me, answer my calls or text and even that she blocked me off Facebook knowing that I won’t be able to stalk her. I felt terrible about how I did to her. It just makes me feel useless and ugly. I can’t sleep, think or stay positive at some point. What can I do to save this. I want her back in my arms just how the way it was before. I need Help.

  • Unknown March 2, 2012, 9:09 pm

    I was with my ex for 7 yrs. I left him. We have been broken up for 3 years now but I miss him more now then ever. I just left a relationship of 2.5 years because it was not fair to him that I was still feeling for my ex. I miss both of them. My last relationship was with a man I have known for 19 yrs. I gave my ex 7 years of unconditional love. I gave him a family. I wanted things to change. He was emotionless. I love him I really do. He is now dating (rumor has it he is engaged) to this chick he has only been with since Jan 2012 (2 Months) who he tells he loves her and plans to marry her. I gave him 7 years and all he said was he wasn’t ready for marriage. Even after I had our daughter. This chick has 4 kids. Was married before. Tweeker from BFE. Is a total b**Ch. She wont let him talk to me. My daughter can not stand her. Her oldest is 12 then 11, then ? then 1. Where did I go wrong? I guess I am more hurt than anything. I have been trying to work on getting him back since before Christmas. A week later he has this hoebag in his house. UGH!!!! HELP!!

  • stephen walsh March 3, 2012, 4:21 am

    i have been with my girl friend for three years. I first met her in high school when she was 15 years old and we went through every possible thing in the world together, I cheated on her, left her, been there for her in the hospital, she went to jail for me, we had a baby together, broke up and got right back together multiple times. But after she was used an abused by this new guy she is still wanting him, but she tells me she doesn’t want him and all this other stuff and all he does is hurt her an she buries her emotions because she keeps messing with this new guy hoping it will make him want a relationship with her. When all he wants to do is screw her an walk an she can’t focus on taking care of the baby or anything. And if I don’t get her back soon my daughter is going to suffer along with me, so any help would be greatly appreciated cause all my friends say it’s because she is young and she wants to live her life when all she wants to do is be a kid and forget about hers and if I don’t get her to realize what she is doing not only effects her but our baby, I’m going to lose them both.

  • Claire March 3, 2012, 12:11 pm

    My ex broke up with me because I started to get suspicious of him staying out and finally started to ask questions. I eventually said I was unhappy he had stopped staying at mine and had been sleeping at a male friends due to the fact his phone was always switched off when he did this which he blamed on phone signal. It was an argumentative break up with him shouting and blaming me mainly. We tried to sort things both agreed we wanted to work things out but he wouldn’t completely commit to being back together officially at that point. We said we would not get involved with other people as we loved each other. But it felt the trying was one sided after the first couple of weeks. He was working lots using that as an excuse to not do things as he knew I would never complain about work. Things were fine as long as I asked no questions but when the sleeping at the friends started again with the phone off and the phone always being off around me I couldn’t help but let him know it bothered me after letting the frustration boil up. To Which he would say I don’t think we should get back together! It’s not working. Then agree to work at it for this to be repeated.  I eventually spoke to the friend he has so called been staying at who tried to lie for him. However he didn’t realize my ex had told me he stayed at his a different night to what he told me so I knew I had been lied to all along. My ex denied lying saying he was at the friends but then a week later admitted he wasn’t but refused to say where he had stayed! He didn’t want to answer any of my questions. I spoke to his mum and dad and said what had happened and the ex didn’t like that either! He got defensive and started calling me as a person for what I had done. He is still saying he had never cheated, but a week and a half later I saw him whilst driving home one night and decided to see for myself where he was going. He went to pick a girl up. He lied when he saw me saying he was working collecting money! Until the girl came out and told me he had slept hers on the date that his friend had also lied for him! He still denies cheating says he met her 3 weeks ago then it’s 2 and a half weeks ago. Making it seem like it was after me but I don’t believe that. He also told his mum and dad we split in October when we split in December! Which I don’t understand at all! We were going away for nights out together with friends during that time. I text his mum and told her he had lied to them about when we actually split. A week on after one text Message to him the day after I caught him with the girl, I find he has changed his number! I do not understand why he has tried to blame me for everything, I had to do what I had to do for my own sanity as I didn’t know what to believe anymore. He still denies cheating and then he changes his number like I am constantly in contact or something which I am most definitely not! I have known him 7 years and we have been best friends before the relationship for 5 of those. How can someone change so dramatically towards a person they have known for such a long time and why has he cut me off by changing his number? I don’t get any of it! I’ve never cheated so don’t know what people do in that situation or when they are caught out! If truth be known I’m still in love with him, and would like to talk to him to see how he feels, but at the same time I would not just dismiss his behavior or what he has done. I’m considering writing a letter but I fear no reply after changing his number, or dropping by his place? But I don’t want to do something that will make the situation worse. I need help on what to do!!

  • lianne March 3, 2012, 9:43 pm

    I was with my ex for almost 3 years. We even moved across country together. He moved back home and a couple months later I moved back. He broke up with me before I got home and is seeing someone else. I can’t get a hold of him. He doesn’t have Facebook and I don’t have his number. Its been a few months and I still talk to his sister once in awhile. She says he feels bad about what happened but didn’t want to give his number because it would mess with his head. I’ve tried meeting new people but I can’t seem to get over him. I would do anything to get him back but not only does he have a new GF but I have no contact. Running out of ideas please any advice?

  • Kiah G. March 4, 2012, 12:39 am

    My bf broke up with me about a month ago and all I can do is think about him, its so frustrating because I want him back so badly. I love him so much and I just wish there was a way to get him back because he made me so happy…now its like I am depressed all the time:(

  • Trying to hold together March 4, 2012, 11:54 am

    My love broke up with me cause I’m too flirty witch I can be… It’s one of my flaws I’m working on. Also he gets jealous over me fast which is OK. I understand because so do I. We’ve had our problems in the past and a little worse but he never broke up with me for real… I texted him a lot and when I went to get my stuff we talked and I keep asking him to work with me. Since I left his house he called me once to ask how I was doing and said he loves me but can’t be with me cause I make him jealous and a person he doesn’t want to be (with my flirtatiousness it doesn’t mean anything I don’t even know I’m doing it sometimes). We would’ve dated for a year in two days (mar 5). Advice please cause It’s killing me. I love him with a passion.