How To Get Your Ex Back – 3 Step Plan

breakups are reversible

In most cases it’s possible to reverse a breakup. Is yours?

Are you hurting from a breakup?

Does everyone you talk to tells you that it’s over, to let it go and move on?

But what if it didn’t have to be over?

What if you want to fight for this relationship and win your ex back?

My name is Kevin, and I am writing this 3 Step plan to help you get your ex back, even if you think your situation is hopeless.

Breakup is a terrible experience. It leaves you in pain, feeling depressed, angry and often very confused. It is common to be needy at this time. But if you want to be together with your ex, you will have to be calm, unresentful, and HAVE A PLAN. Most of the breakups are reversible and if you do the right things at the right time, then you will have your ex back in your arms.

I am here to help you devise that plan. Don’t worry, it’s not some mind tricks that you will have to play on your ex. Playing mind tricks is not the way to go if you want to have a long term healthy relationship with your ex. This plan is based on human psychology and how to use its principles to have a happy relationship with your ex. I encourage you to read everything in this 3 STEP PLAN and then take action. I can only tell you what to do, but until you actually do it, you won’t see any results.

In the first part of this 3 STEP PLAN, I am going to tell you what are the biggest mistakes that people make after they’ve broken up. These extremely common mistakes end up hurting your chances of getting back together. This is perhaps the most important part of this series so make sure you read each and every point and follow it.

#1 Begging, Pleading, Being Too Needy

begging and pleading won't get your ex back

After a breakup people make the biggest mistake of begging their ex to take them back. I know it seems like the right thing to do right after a breakup BUT IT’S NOT. In fact, it is the worst thing you can do at this moment.

Nobody wants to be with a needy person. Pleading and being needy is unattractive and is only going to push your ex further away from you. It will only make them think that they made the right decision by breaking up with you.

#2 The Doormat Syndrome

Being a doormat won't get your ex back

The Doormat Syndrome in relationships is going out of your way, sacrificing your own happiness to please your partner. It means accepting everything that your partner wants you to do without having any demands of your own just to get back with them.

If you find yourself saying things like, “Please stay, I will do anything for you” then you may be suffering from the doormat syndrome.

You don’t want that. Nobody wants that and for two very solid reasons –

a) It’s unattractive. Nobody is attracted to someone who doesn’t have their own opinion, needs, or their hobbies. So being a doormat will most likely be futile if you want your ex back.

b) Even if it does work, you will have an unhappy and smothering relationship which probably won’t last very long. And I am sure that’s not what you want.

#3 Text Terrorism and Drunk Dialing

drunk dialing will hurt your chances of getting your ex back

Alcohol and phone DO NOT go together

This is again a very common mistake and yet detrimental to your chances of getting back together with your ex. People go out to have a few drinks trying to have a good time and the next thing they know they are calling their ex and making a fool out of themselves. Avoid this at all cost.

You have to make yourself scarce if you want to be together with your ex (explained in STEP 2 of this plan). Texting them all the time and calling them just shows that you are too needy and don’t have anything else to do. As I said before, being needy is unattractive and you want to avoid this at all cost.

#4 Smothering Them With Affection

I love you is not something your ex wants to hear right now

Saying “I love you” will NOT help your case

The logical approach to get your ex back seems that you should tell them how much you care for them and how much you love them as soon as possible before it’s too late. But trust me it’s not a good idea.

Well, chances are your ex knows that you love them and they know how much you care for them. In fact, if they were in a relationship with you, then they care for you too. But they decided to breakup anyways, didn’t they?

“I love you” and “I really really care for you” isn’t what your ex needs to hear right now. Smothering them with affection may even push them further away.

 

#5 Giving Them All The Power

At this point, even if it was your ex who broke up with you, you don’t want to give them all the power. You don’t want to be the one who is always available for them. You don’t want to be their contingency plan.

Acting like your life is over without your ex will only lose their respect for you. In the history of breakups, no one has ever taken their ex back out of pity. So, doing such a thing is only going to hurt your chances.

nobody takes their ex back out of pity

No one takes their ex back out of pity. Not even this kid’s ex.

#6 Freaking Out When Your Ex Starts Seeing Someone Else

After a breakup, you feel depressed, angry confused, shattered, and are really hurting. At this moment, if your ex starts seeing someone else, it just tears you apart. You feel even more depressed and confused. And usually, when your ex is in this rebound relationship, they seem to become too intimate too fast, which makes it even worse for you, for example it took them 5 months to get physical with you and they are already sleeping with this new person who they are going with for only a week.

In this situation, DON’T FREAK OUT. Rebound relationships happen after a break up, it’s very very normal. But the good news is that they don’t last. And the reason why they became so intimate with this new person so fast is because it’s hard for a person to go from being so intimate with someone to being completely single. That is why most people (especially girls) will become intimate very soon with their rebound relationship because they are trying to get to that level of intimacy that they had with you. But usually, the faster the rebound relationship progresses, the faster it ends. They will soon realize that the new person isn’t right for them and they were just being intimate to quench their thirst for intimacy. And once they do realize it, they will break up with them.

rebound relationships

Rebound Relationships are like Ice Creams. They aren't healthy and they don't last long.

So if your ex is seeing someone else, all you have to do is just be cool about it. That’s all. Sometimes, they start seeing someone else just to rub in your face that they are moving on. And you should not react to their relationship by telling them they are doing a mistake and they shouldn’t be seeing this new person. This is because if you tell someone to don’t do something, then you can rest assured that is exactly what they will do. In fact, if you do so they will go to the extent of prolonging their rebound relationship just to prove you wrong.

Instead if you do something opposite, and act indifferent to their new relationship and just concentrate on your own life (career, hobbies etc.), it will get them thinking. And their rebound relationship will end soon like all other rebound relationships.

Now the above mistakes look innocent but are fatal for your chances to get back together with your ex. So make sure you don’t do them. I know most of the advice I gave above is counter-intuitive, BUT IT WORKS.

At this point, you may be thinking what if I’ve already made these mistakes?

Don’t worry if you’ve already made these mistakes. Like I said, they are very common and chances are that most of you reading this would have already made some of these mistakes. It’s still not too late. You still have a good chance of getting your ex back. I just ask you to not make any of these mistakes anymore. If need be; print this page out and keep it with you all the time so you don’t do any of these mistake again.

Now That we have covered what you need to avoid, we can move forward to what you need to do. Click below for Step 2.

CLICK HERE FOR STEP 2

Next Page>>

{ 672 comments… read them below or add one }

NM April 22, 2012 at 3:01 pm

My boyfriend and I had an abortion. We were really hurting about it for a long time. Then he relocated to another city for work and became very busy. He’d not be able to call or text me very often and I became paranoid and lonely. One time I was in a really bad shape, and I confided in a close mutual friend about the abortion. I told him to not tell my boyfriend about it. But I was still lonely and angry from the fact that my boyfriend hadn’t been calling me. We had a huge fight over it, he blamed me for not understanding, I blamed him for not being there. Eventually things started getting back to normal. However the mutual friend told my boyfriend that I had told him about the abortion. This made him very angry and he broke up with me. I don’t know what to do anymore, my life is stalled. Please help me Kevin.

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Danielle April 22, 2012 at 8:54 pm

I’m totally heartbroken. I fell in love with my ex, he told me I was the love of his life his true love…… Then for the sake of his children he decided to try again with his ex but told me we are just friends for now, he wants his future with me. So for the past 4 weeks he messages me every morning and day and night telling me he loves me etc. Saturday morning I get the same message telling me he can’t wait to wake up to me everyday. However Saturday night he decides he can’t do this anymore he’s feeling too much pressure at home and work so that’s it for me, he doesn’t want a future with me anymore and not to hear from him again. I feel like I’ve had my heartbroken twice I’m in such a dark place right now I don’t know how to get out of it.

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John April 23, 2012 at 4:34 am

Me and my girlfriend broke up about 7 months ago. She broke up with me, saying she doesn’t want a boyfriend and says she will never have time to talk or hang out with me. But now I honestly don’t know if she loves me. We still talk during school, but it’s not the same. I was thinking of telling her that I just wanted to be together and she doesn’t have to hang out with me if she’s not available. I love this girl so much I would do anything to get her back! But I know I shouldn’t be begging and being needy and even if I did say anything she would still probably say “I don’t want a boyfriend”. After we broke up she said “I’ll always love you and I would never date any other guy”. I asked her friend to ask her but she says she doesn’t care about. But I don’t think it’s true. I miss her so much. I was thinking of giving it time and try to act innocent or to just focus on my education and sports.

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Justin Sharpe April 23, 2012 at 7:26 am

Me and my ex broke up six months ago over some of her friends because she did not believe me. She believed her friends and I still love her and want to be with her but now her ex husband accuses me of getting a hold of him when I didn’t. It was another part of my family that did and now my ex doesn’t want me to get a hold of him because she is afraid that it will hurt her chances of seeing her kids and him getting on her about me getting a hold of him to apologize to him about what my family did. And now I’m living in hurt and crying every night because of this so how can I make this right to where he doesn’t blame her for me getting a hold of him. I’m in between a rack and a hard place.

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teddy April 23, 2012 at 7:43 am

Hi,
A few days ago, we had a terrible argument with my 2 years girlfriend and we came to an agreement of breaking up. Yes our relationship didn’t start right because we met when I was in a relationship and she was single. Being a rational guy it took me considerable time (6 months to be precise) to break up with my ex because she was understanding and we never argued and yes I loved her and didn’t want to hurt her for no reason. After all the hustle, we started a relationship with the other girl and things took off in the wrong turn!! We argue too much, we say things that lovers can’t say to each other, but our sex life is great. Just before our break, she told me she wanted a baby, and I didn’t agree with that because we are just student in our early twenties. She then said she want to start seeing a 30 year old guy who she met at the course of work and he told her he likes her and would like to marry. So that’s the reason she wanted to break up cause she couldn’t see him behind my back. But yesterday she said she misses me and after a chat we decided that we will be making love to each other no matter what. So my question is, is there a 30years old guy or is she just telling me that to push me away, she says that she still loves me but she is breaking up with me, why?

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jonjon April 23, 2012 at 10:07 am

My girl broke up with me because I was unfaithful from a verbal standpoint not physical. I was in contact with my ex when I was with my girl. My ex wanted a relationship sexually but I turned her down because I loved my baby girl. I didn’t want to lose my girlfriend. In fact, I want her back. my ex broke my heart when she broke up with me and I always vowed vengeance.

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brittney April 23, 2012 at 9:48 pm

I know it’s hard, I feel for you guys as I am going through this as well but did any of you read the article?

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Albert April 23, 2012 at 10:39 pm

My girlfriend broke up with me last night, only to tell me that she’s falling in love with some other guy. We have been together now for almost a year, and we have had a long distance relationship because of school. She was eager to move in with me but decided on the last minute that she did not want this. She gets jealous easily and needs someone to be by her side, physically and emotionally… something I cant do because of our 6 hour distance. I love her to death and cant imagine with anyone else. I don’t know what to do.

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matthew bonetti April 28, 2012 at 9:21 am

I have a few questions now is this a bad idea that your ex girl goes off with your best friend and she helped me out with her friend. Is there anyway I can get her back?

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rahul April 30, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Me and my girlfriend had been in relationship for 4 years and we were fighting from last year on frequent reasons and last month we fought again and she said I don’t want to be with you again and she is behaving very rudely. Ignoring me I made a mistake that I didn’t give her any time and continuously called her and she became very irritated and become very very very rude. I never expected that, I cried badly. Punished myself and did very weird things and its been a month I am doing this and now I asked her take your time. Now I want to know will her mindset change???? I mean she behaved like an enemy.

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Brianna April 30, 2012 at 7:15 pm

My ex boyfriend and I have been on and off for about a year and a half before he decided to permanently end things with me a few days ago, over a stupid fight. I understand that I pushed him to break up with me, just because I take every single fight to a new level. I stoop very low and get in the heat of the moment and let my anger take over me by saying very hurtful things. He decided that he’d had enough of it and told me he couldn’t be with him right now, that I’ve hurt him too much. I can’t even describe how bad this had made me feel. He says he doesn’t want to do this, that he really wants to be with me…but just can’t. I need to get him back. I love him so much and I know he loves me….he’s just so hurt. This has happened before, getting in a big argument once every few months and then just decide to take a break, or break up. We get back together every time. This relationship might sound dysfunctional, but we are very young and very stupid. We are each others first love. I am desperate to get him back and to show him that I am completely serious about changing this time. I have said this before but I know I need to this time. I have never felt like this before. Like I lost the most important thing in my life. I am desperate to get him back and I don’t know what to do. I am willing to use any advice I can get.

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Ann May 7, 2012 at 12:53 pm

So what do you do when you dated someone for 12 years. Someone you imagined your whole life with? I will spare the details, but its safe to say that both he and I made big mistakes in our relationship. We didn’t communicate with each other out of fear of losing each other. Six months ago he broke things off. At first I didn’t think that it would stick… but it has. We still live together which complicates things – we bought a house several years ago and my children have grown up there. It is like a divorce…

I love him more than I can possibly say and I have tried desperately to convince him that this is a mistake. If we could consciously decide to work on this together and to communicate better with each other, I’m convinced that we would be in it for the long haul – like we both always dreamed of.

He doesn’t seem sad about the loss of our relationship anymore. There was one day when we had just broken up that he cried in my arms on the couch. Since then, he only seems bitter and angry. How do I fix this? Have I really lost him forever? Even though he says he still loves me, things like seeing pictures of our past or items and artifacts of our relationship do not seem to have the same emotional effect on him. I just don’t understand. I love him so much and I just want us to be happy together again – like we used to be.

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D. May 23, 2012 at 10:24 am

move on

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Karen June 6, 2012 at 6:55 am

My situation is really weird. I don’t know if there is any help for this whatsoever. My ex bf and I were together for a few years. He would get a job, lose it, get another one..I stuck by him anyway. We ended up at his parent’s home, having nowhere else to go. They have never liked me. Whenever I left they would rag him about me. I was visiting a friend, and he told me all the nasty things they said. I didn’t feel I could go back there. A friend put us up. He left for work and never came back. Went to his parent’s house after work, and over the phone, said he wasn’t coming back…ever. Won’t take my calls, blocked me and my friends on Facebook. There is no way to get in touch with him. Worst of all, the last time I talked to him, he had convinced himself they were right! He wants nothing to do with me at all now after promising he’d never leave no matter what. He is 30, I am older than he is, 48., but am told I don’t look it at all. Is there any hope? I can’t compete with his parents. He was my only financial support. I don’t even care about the money. They have him convinced I was just using him. Please help!!

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Felicia June 7, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Thank you so much!! It worked and we are happier than ever :)

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Branden June 18, 2012 at 2:51 pm

I’m 13 and me and my ex went out on June 23 and she dumped me on June 25 for nothing and I want her back in 2012 but she moved to the state beside my state.

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cc September 2, 2012 at 4:23 am

My ex said that the reason why we broke up all because of my bad temper, and before he told me that we were over, he already had a new girlfriend.

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young September 21, 2012 at 12:29 pm

help

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LIGH November 29, 2012 at 4:33 am

thx

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allenandapple December 21, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Thankyou

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Amoury January 8, 2013 at 12:09 pm

Pretending is so tiring, I hope that he will be back

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Eugenia Phillip January 10, 2013 at 8:24 pm

Thank you for helping me to get my lovely partner back in my life. I am so blessed that you used a non forceful way of uniting and reuniting us. Our past, presence and future seems to have all merged into one. You told me that everyone has a compatible soul mate wether in their life or waiting to come into their lives. I am glad its my partner of old. I did not want to really go and be with someone else.. You have removed the extra baggage that has been affecting us and holding us back. Peace to you.

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SamW May 1, 2013 at 12:52 am

So, it’s Sam. cause I’m Chinese, I speaking a poor English. but I try to explain everything clearer.I knew this website from our BBS about the relationship. I write this just want some advice. alright , to this day, I didn’t make sure we break up or not , just i’m argue with a small problem wiht her. and I said break, this is very usual in Asia boy and girl , and next day i cant contect her, because she take me to the black list. and this is the 7th day . i cant contect her. this thing make me down and i really love her. want to stay together forever. huh… i living with she 180 days . we have a happiness and good life. this little problem maybe break up us . but i want to try it. i cant use the phone to conect,

thanks a lot

Sam

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SamW May 3, 2013 at 6:10 am

Huh… i want to say thanks . 3 days ago i got a e-mail form her, there are some short about me and the reason why she disapared. i think i got the reason.and want her back. i think this is right that you said . and i try to stop cry and clam down. and i take action. huh… many people told i need give the space between us and do not contact her. i didn’t know this is right or not. but i already dont sent any message and calling in this 3 days. and i becoming better

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Que November 2, 2010 at 6:26 pm

Maybe you both have outgrown what you had before. Maybe you both need to push forward and go to a new level within the relationship. I can help you. Feel free to send me an email.

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Kevin November 4, 2010 at 11:03 am

Renee, If your husband is not willing to work things by going to counseling, then maybe you are asking too much from him.

I think you should follow this plan by stopping communication for a short period of time. Not too much though. Maybe a week or two. And pull yourself together. Work on your inner issues in that time. Try to find out what YOU did wrong and improve yourself.

And when you have to contact him, don’t ask him for such a big commitment like going to counseling. That’s a huge thing to ask your ex. You have to take things slowly in the starting. As I explain in STEP 3, start by asking him out for coffee. Just for 15 minutes. It’s a small step that he will be comfortable with.

And then from there on you slowly take it to the next level. The key is to make them take very small steps. If you ask them to make a big commitment, they will run away before you even know it.

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Kevin November 4, 2010 at 11:07 am

Sam,

It’s okay if you’ve messed up by crying and begging. It’s a natural response. A lot of people do that. And many of them get back with their ex by simply following this plan.

Now, you have to show her that you have regained composure and are confident. Show her that you are a happy person. Follow the plan. But don’t try to fake it. You have to actually become a happy person before you meet her. If you try to act happy when you meet her, even though you are crying inside, she will see right through your act. So make sure before contacting her you have become the person you need to become to get her back. Read this 3 step plan again to understand what I am talking about.

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Kevin December 10, 2010 at 1:33 pm

Vick, this is the classic case of the push pull psychology. One minute she wants to be with you and the next moment she seems cold and distant. There are two possible reasons for this

1. She is testing you
2. She is still fighting with her feelings and is not sure herself.

At this time you don’t want to push it. I think you are in a very good position. It would be good if you let it be her idea to get back together.

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Manos June 11, 2011 at 11:49 am

Vick,

First of all you ame a mistake to beg her and cry to stay with you. Women stay with men who have high self-esteem afn self-respect.

When she told you that she wants to break up she meant exaclty that.

Don’t fall to the trap to see her again because you are doint it worst. There are plenty of girls who will make you happier than her.

She is just playing with you and you will be miserbale with her

Good Luck:)

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Kevin December 10, 2010 at 1:39 pm

Robin,

You are not wrong here. I think you’ve put a lot of effort into making this relationship work and it seems like your ex didn’t put any effort at all. But ask yourself this question, do you really see a future in the relationship. If he is so clear about never getting married, then maybe you are better moving on. I am not usually the one to say this, but in your case this might be the case. But if you do believe that he will try to make your relationship work and he is truly worth putting in the effort, then I would suggest you take small steps into getting back together. Don’t just ask him to get back together. Ask him out for a coffee or lunch and then slowly start dating again and reignite the spark that will get him back to you.

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Kevin December 10, 2010 at 1:45 pm

Mimi, you don’t want to be their backup. You don’t want him to think that if his relationship don’t work out he can always come back to you. You should try to live on with your life. Their is a good chance he will come back to you. But you made a big mistake by asking “Can I wait for you?”. You know why? Because he knows you are waiting for him. He looks at you as a backup. I think you should let him know that you are not waiting for him. Let him know that you are not a backup. You can do this indirectly by going out on a casual date with someone. It doesn’t need to be anything serious. Just go out for a fun date. If he finds out, he will realize that you are not a backup and that if he wants to be with you, he has to make his decision quick.

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Kevin December 10, 2010 at 1:48 pm

Hey,

First of all you need to start eating properly. I know it’s hard when you are depressed but you have to look and feel great if you want to win her back. And the only way to look and feel great is to eat healthy. She wouldn’t want to come back to a depressed person, would she? Now you certainly can’t do anything about her going out with someone. But if you just follow the plan, she might get back with you.

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Kevin December 10, 2010 at 1:54 pm

Hey Christine,

Your story is very touching. I will suggest you to take one small step at a time. Don’t ask him directly to get back with you. As I mentioned in step 3, just ask him out for a coffee or lunch. Something small, that he can’t say no. If he hesitates, say something like “Come on, it’s just a cup of coffee”. If he still says no, just accept it. You can try calling him again after a few days. When you meet for the coffee, talk about things other than your breakup. You can talk about the kids. DO NOT ask him to get back with you. Make it a fun date. Make him feel admired during that time. Compliment him on things that you like about him. Read this blog post to understand what I am talking about. I hope everything turns out good for you. I’ll pray for you.

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Kevin March 31, 2011 at 4:31 am

Hey Casper,

This is the reason why you do not call it a date when you ask her out for coffee. You are just asking to hang out with her as friends. You are going to sneak into her life as friends. Say something like “It was the right decision to break up. But it will be a shame if let our friendship die as well”. She won’t think it’s inappropriate. And if her new boyfriends finds it inappropriate, guess who is coming of as the jealous type. And that will just make things easier for you.

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Austin April 22, 2011 at 8:25 pm

That’s similar to what happened to me, She left me for a friend of hers that she barely knew, And on top of that it was her bestfriend’s boyfriend, So her and her bestfriend are against eachother now. And it’s like I don’t know what to do she tells me she’s over me and she is having feelings for this other guy but she’ll always love me because I was her first love. I’m trying to cut contact, It’s been one day since I’ve last talked to her and it’s no lie killing me, i wonder if this is truly going to work, I love that girl with a passion, And I was planning to propose and I just hope she comes back.

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Katie April 23, 2011 at 4:03 am

I know it’s hard man, I’m just reaching my seccond week!! I reccomend getting a notebook and writing down what you want to say to her. I did it and it helps. I am having such a hard time, but let’s hope it pays off. We need to give them time to miss us!! And if you do get back together, it will be to build a better and stronger relationship than before!! I’m writing a letter to my ex and I picked a date on the calendar that I’m gonna give it to him. Hang in there!! What ever you do, promise yourself that you will NOT contact her. My story is a few posts below, but I left some things out. Just give her space.

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Austin April 23, 2011 at 8:22 pm

Hey Katie, It wouldn’t let me reply to you on my post, So I’m going to reply on yours. Yeah that is a good idea with the notes, But honestly it is just so hard because she acts all happy with him, And people tell me she’s going to miss me and she’s going to come back in time, But she really seems happy with him and they are all playful and like happy together and it’s like me and her were serious, And honestly towards the end it was a lot of arguing and we’ve always had severe trust issues, So why would she come back to me if this guy is treating her better, And it hurts because if I had a second chance, I’d treat her like I should have to begin with. And she keeps asking me how I’m doing and it’s hard to ignore her.

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Katie April 24, 2011 at 1:27 am

Oh my god. That is the same thing with me. He acts like nothing has changed. He is just with this new girl and he seems so happy… They make out in the halls at school.. They have facebook pictures up together..

Everyone says that he will see his mistake. But in my case, it’s been a month. I really don’t even know if he misses me. He acts like I dont exist. How can you spend two years with someone, do everything together, And then just replace them the next day? He told me he “moved on” before the break up. I don’t know what that means. How can he be over me!? I don’t get it.

Just trust me. I think the no contact my actually work. I went a week without contact and I think he really started to think about me. He passed me in the halls and he was looking at me. I’m almost sure of that much. I just keep praying for them to break up…she isn’t right for him. She just isn’t.

I will pray for you too Austin. Just stay strong!! I have a feeling things might just work out for us if we keep our heads up!!

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AVR April 21, 2012 at 6:49 pm

Hey can you please help me with my break up and tell me what should i do?

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Katie April 24, 2011 at 2:34 pm

And also, my ex kind of does the same thing. My mom blocked his number on my phone so he can’t contact me and I took him off of my facebook friends list for my own sanity.

Coming from a girl, I think that if she wants to know how you’re doing it means she still thinks about you. Keep yourself a mystery. The less she knows the more she will want you!!

I avoided even passing my ex in the halls for a week and he saw my face for the first time and I could TELL he wAnted to say something. Then the next day he stopped and made an effort to wave but I ignored it. You’re a guy… What’s up with him?

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shelby October 17, 2012 at 10:20 pm

Katie. Im in the same spot as you my ex of 2 years broke up with me under a month ago. 3days later started to date one of his ex’s. But he still tells me that he misses me and loves me and wants to be together. I tell him I want to be with him again but he is still with her. I write notes about how im feeling everyday! I keep them in a safe place.and if we ever do get back together I want to show them to him. I was the one that made a stupid mistake that made me lose him. I wish I could turn back time and stop myself. We did everything together. I mean EVERYTHING. Im a junior in high school and he graduated last year. But the girl he is already dating goes to my school. She talks crap about me and he gets mad at her because he doesn’t want the drama. I txt him and he txts me back sometimes but he only acts like the guy I fell in love with when he is alone.if he is with his mom or even a friend he acts like he doesn’t even care about anything I say or do. No matter how nice I am to him!

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Austin April 29, 2011 at 5:08 am

Hey Katie, Well I ignored my ex for days and found someone else and started dating her, And last night she’s IM’s me crying her eyes out telling me she is still in love with me and she want’s us back together. But I don’t know what to do, I love her but I think she is just jealous, I told her to take her time and to think things through and if she wants us back together and I want us back together then it’s going to be my choice if I go back to her or not. I wasn’t being all sweet to her and when I talked to her I was rude, It worked. I am just unsure about what to do, I love her with all my heart, But right now I am just with this other girl and she makes me happy, But in the end I think me and my ex will end up back together. And from my point of view, He wants you back but he is scared you don’t want him, But he isn’t going to make the first move for a while, He’s missing you and regretting what he did, But he’s going to deny it until it honestly hits him, And when it does, He’ll be back, But by then it might be too late, Because that’s where I’m stuck at right now.

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AVR April 21, 2012 at 6:56 pm

Hey I was hoping maybe you or Austin could possibly help me with a situation I have.

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RINA May 4, 2011 at 5:51 am

hi! on this scenario.. we had a few common which also happening with me..if you think that she is the best for you for the rest of your life.. then have your rights to be with it.. im glad that theres no third party involve.. maybe ur girl was mixed emotion thats why she was puzzled up.. every woman aims a faithfully relationship and you have a romantic present for ur girl.. try to talk to her in a peaceful place where you can enjoy the views and settle down again the things.. there is really one big reason why she refuse your proposal…life is so hard and its pretty hard to start all over again with someone.. if you both guys are stable then fight for your rights especially that both of u had properties already,,, having this kind of property means both of you have a strong foundation of relationship already…. u are a man so try to vitualize on her mind again the plans… u can make it.. and im proud of u that u had been faithfully to ur woman… thumbs up for a guy like this! just work it out with ur fiancee and everything will be fine.. because both of u are destined each other i can feel that..

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Rebecca June 8, 2011 at 6:38 am

Hey, I read your story & comment. I need some advice from a guy. My ex and I dated for 8 months. We loved each other and have amazing memories, now hes joinging the NAVY, asked he has asked if Id marry him..I said yeah. Now about a week ago he told me he has been smoking cigarets. It came as a shoke cus he had not not told me this before. Anyways I made a big deal and broke it off cus of frustrTion. Then right away I took it back, but He DIDNT.accept. He then said he just doesnt know if he loves me , also that he just neds time.WTF? Im so confused cus he gave me different reasons why we shouldnt see each other anymore. Its been a week that I haven’t contacted him I know he has feelings for me still. Cus we were serious. What he told me has gutted me deeply. .i love him and would like to try it agin. But Is IT possible? Do you think this No contact thing works? I need a guys advice!! Please, thank you!

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lupe September 11, 2011 at 9:29 pm

Kevin, after 18 years of marriage, we are both in early 50′s. My husband has left me about 4 months ago to be with a 24 year old woman abroad, he makes very good money, we worked very hard to get there financially, there are other women whom he meets at work, these women want him for selfish reasons, he may be dating other women also?

He wants to marry 24 year old woman from abroad, Philippine woman, he planned/arranged this before he left me, he texted etc to her while living with me, then went to see her oversees for a month. He is the bread winner, so I don’t know what to do, I was a housewife, plus helped him to get ahead with his career, investments etc.

He has not contacted me, when I contacted him, he only spoke of divorce, he has not called or email except he wants divorce, we have assets.

I love him more than anything else in the world, financially we are ruined, bills are due, overdue, credit will get ruined, I have not taken any legal action, how to approach to win him back if at all there is a possibility. I love him dearly, I cry all the time, I cry at every memory, every moment of the past spent with him, he cheated on me though, how to win someone like him back?

Thank you
Lupe

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Drea September 18, 2011 at 5:37 am

Similar story happened to me after a 4 year relationship. It’s been a coupe of weeks now and hurting a lot. I suggest you focus on yourself more and make as little contact with him as possible. consider the things that caused issues in your relationship and if it’s reasonable to change, and continue your life as confidently as possible. You know your ex best and what is attractive and unattractive to him. Best of luck!

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sally simpson November 13, 2011 at 4:32 am

What you need to do is pretend you don’t care. Give her some space until she comes to you.

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Bob February 28, 2012 at 5:34 am

We seriously have outgrown each other but she broke up with me and I try to talk to her but she says don’t call or text me anymore

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cyb May 9, 2013 at 3:47 pm

you will be OK!

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