The No-Contact Rule is a very important part of the 3 Step plan for getting your ex back. Even though it might be very counterintuitive, it has proven to work again and again for many people. Before starting the no contact rule, the general doubts in your mind might be something like
- What if they forget about me completely?
- What if they start dating someone else during that period?
- What if they get married during the no contact rule and have beautiful children with that other woman?
- How will they know that I am changing myself if I am not in contact with them?
Let’s take each one of these questions one by one.
“What if they forget about me completely?”
One month. That’s how much I recommend the no-contact period to be. Do you really think they will forget about you in one month? If your relationship was anything even close to meaningful, then they absolutely CANNOT forget about you in one month. In some cases, I recommend the no contact rule to be as much as 2 months depending on the type of breakup and how much grudge they are holding against you. And if you think about it, even 2 months is not enough time for someone to forget their ex and get over them.
“What if they start dating someone else during that period?”
What makes you think they won’t start dating that other person if you are in contact with them? If you two have broken up, nothing can actually stop them from dating other people. And if you keep in contact with them, and try to stop them from dating other people, you might as well drop a hammer on your foot, because that will just make them want to date other people even more. If you try to stop them from dating, they will feel like you are still trying to control their life (even after the breakup) and they will develop resentment towards you.
“What if they get married during the no contact rule and have beautiful children with that other woman?”
Well, we all know that’s not going to happen in one month.
“How will they know that I am changing myself if I am not in contact with them?”
First of all, you are not changing yourself for them. You are changing yourself for you. During the no contact period, you are supposed to shift all the focus, energy, and thoughts from your ex to you. You are not doing anything to prove to your ex to change, you are doing it for you.
And even though it is not necessary that come to know about your change, they will find out about it one way or the other. Chances are that your ex is keeping their eyes and ears open for any news pertaining to you. And since we are all living in an overly connected world, they will find out through one of the many communication channels we have today.