Since the breakup is such an emotional turmoil, it is very hard to control your emotions and thoughts after it. There is just one thing in your mind, your ex, and the questions like “is my ex over me”, “is my ex thinking about me”, “does my ex still loves me” are just too hard to get rid of.
Like I mention in the 2nd step of my 3 Step plan, it is extremely important that you stop panicking. There are a lot of questions on your mind right now and all those are the result of the state of panic you are in.
To pull yourself together, you first need to understand your state of mind. Your mind is panicking right now, which means that it is in “fight or flight” response. In case, you don’t know what it is, it is a state of mind which is meant to deal with dangerous situations. There is a small part of brain called the Amygdala which controls your thoughts when you are in “fight or flight” mode. And the main function of Amygdala is to ask questions, “what if” questions to be specific, to determine a feasible plan of action.
However, when your ex has broken up with you, there is no real danger present. But your mind has been tricked into going into the fight or flight response due to the stress after a breakup. As a result of this, the Amygdala starts asking all these senseless questions like
What if my ex is over me?
What if they are already with someone else?
What if I never find love again?
What if I can never be happy again?
These questions will sound almost stupid if you are in your senses. But if your mind is in panicking, they might sound frightening and may lead to more panic.
How to get out of panic mode?
Well, the first thing you need to do is realize that you are in panicking and that all those frightening questions are the result of the panic. You also need to realize that all those thoughts, as frightening as they may be, are just thoughts and in reality nothing bad is going to happen.
Now, it might be hard for you to believe that you will find happiness again at this time, but you need to realize that it’s only because your mind is controlled by Amygdala at the moment. You need to let this state of panic pass, think of it like a cloud passing over your head, and soon you will be thinking straight.