The last thing on your mind after a breakup may be dating someone else. Just the thought of making another relationship work makes you sick at your stomach. But, there doesn’t have to be a “relationship” if you merely date someone else that you’re somewhat attracted to.
Getting back out into the world of dating is extremely important at this time of your life. It will give you a more panoramic view of what your life can be and let you know that you can be happy again.
If you’ve been out of commission for quite a while, you may have lost contact with other single friends who could lead you back to the places where you can meet new people and have a life outside of home and work. You may have friends who know singles or you may decide to go to one of the online dating sites to meet someone.
When you do meet another that you’re attracted to, ask yourself if you could grow, emotionally, spiritually and every other way with this person. Is he or she able to provide that? If not, don’t waste your time. There are too many fishes in the ocean for you to waste your time on one you’d have to throw back anyway.
It’s normal to compare the new person in your life to your ex. In fact, you should make a comparison. You should be able to find out how your ex stacks up in no time at all if you’ve done your groundwork and know why yours and your ex’s relationship failed and what you’re really looking for in one that will last.
When you compare and find something you don’t like about the other person, don’t think you can change the behavior or personality – it just doesn’t work without causing resentment.
Eventually, you’ll meet someone that you believe you could care about and make a life with. Don’t rush in to a live-in relationship or marriage. As time goes by, you’ll find out more details and will be able to picture your life together.
Dating sites on the Internet let people get to know each other before a physical relationship begins – if both are honest in their communication. It’s a good way to meet lots of people in your area and pick and choose which ones you think there might be a connection with.
You can be a little more confident and daring when you’re talking to someone over the Internet and may find out more about the other person than you could if you were physically together.
Other ways to meet new people are in your church or synagogue, friends who know you and may know another who would fit in your life, work (be sure to check out the rules your company has for dating in the workplace), play (do you like to participate in a sport or perhaps a community theater?), or simply getting involved in things you like to do. Many successful relationships have begun by meeting while walking dogs!
Keep a positive attitude about dating – and keep in mind your absolute requirements for another person to enter your life. Don’t settle for less – you don’t have to.