Is It Too Late To Get Back Together?

What if your breakup happened over a year ago and you want to get back with them?

Is it still possible for you two to be together again?

It actually depends on a lot of factors. If your ex has been dating someone else for over a year, your chances are slim. If you two were together for only a brief period of time (less than a month), then your chances a slim. And if your breakup was terrible and you acted all crazy and stalky after the breakup, then again your chances are slim.

However, you do have an advantage in this situation. You two have been apart for over a year. It means that they have probably lost all the attraction they had for you in that time. But, and it’s a big but, this also means that they have also lost all the negative association they had towards you.

Rebuilding attraction isn’t really that difficult if you just stick to the basics. And in your case, it will be even easier because they were attracted to you at one point of time. However, this doesn’t mean you can dress like a bum and they will still fall head over heels for you.  You will still have to go through the basic dating etiquette to attract them.

Another advantage that you may have in this situation is that if you two broke up because of something you did or how you acted in the relationship, you can easily use the “I’ve changed” routine to assure them that this time it will be different. Please note that I am not advising you to lie just to get back together. I want you to actually change yourself for the better before even trying to get back with them (of course, this only implies if you think you can change for the better and not JUST for your ex).

Even if your ex is dating someone else, you can still give it a try. I wouldn’t recommend you calling them all of a sudden and asking them to get back together. Just take it slow. One small step at a time. Don’t look desperate. Be cool and ask them out as friends. Then slowly make your way into their life.

 

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • H3art Broken August 20, 2011, 5:35 am

    What if they have always been a part of your life and they both shared dramatic experience together and are each other support system? What if they both have issues completely letting go?

    • zack December 27, 2011, 8:02 pm

      Then it sounds like u two are close friends, and nothing more, if u wish for more advice explain.

  • zack December 27, 2011, 7:58 pm

    If you’ve been away from each other for more than a year then its not getting back together its basically a whole new relationship so you can enter anyway you feel just try not to be the same it just shows her your exactly the same and nothings changed between you.

  • Deepak February 7, 2012, 6:24 am

    Hi i m Deepak,
    I had love relationship with a girl from Dec 2007 to Dec 2010. But even after that she was caring me for my studies and she use to speak casually to me. But now she completely stopped communicating with me. She looks to be happy in herself. She’s not even looking at me. She’s telling that she’s gonna marry the guy whom her parents choose.
    But I have made all the mistakes after break up which were mentioned not to be made. so what should I do now. Will the steps you have mentioned work or not?
    Please let me know.
    Even after 1 year of break up I m not able to cope. Please help me.

  • Confused February 13, 2012, 12:03 am

    Hey Zack, my situation is a little different and it’s confusing to me. The girl in question isn’t an ex, but a friend. We worked together for 3 years and saw each other almost every day. She recently walked out which I support but when this happened, I found myself really missing her. A LOT! There is a pretty big age difference but I really thought of her as a friend. All appearances prior say that she thought the same of me. This has been about a month and a half now and I’ve tried to contact her about 7 or 8 times. She answers but very few words. Even still, she says we’re fine and we’re still friends. I told her how I felt and she says she’s not ignoring me, she’s just got a lot going on. There came a time wen we saw each other and she seemed fine and told me to contact her. When I tried I was blocked. Then I got word to her I was not going to try anymore and a few days later she contacted me and re-opened communication. I tried a couple more times since then and got very short responses. I’m feeling strange now being the only one trying so I’ve stopped. I don’t know what happened or why this but it’s bothering me and FEELS almost as painful as a breakup. Any suggestions?

  • AK March 27, 2012, 8:37 am

    Hi –

    I like the Site 🙂 –

    Would you give me your perspective on my situation?

    Once upon a time (4 years ago), I met a guy who worked in a shop opposite to me. We eventually met and he pursued me. We became friends and then lovers. We were ‘together’ for a year. I eventually left him.

    Here is the confusing part: I left him but still had deep feelings for him.

    While I still liked him, I knew that he and the relationship was not healthy for me.

    So once we parted, he pursued me. Texts, calls, voicemails, singing voicemails, expensive earrings, trips by rail (2 hours away) to see me and so on. It made me feel terrible and somehow turned me off (for a time). Then, when the attention stopped, I started missing him and realizing what we had – all the while knowing that the relationship still wouldn’t change much – even if we worked on it.

    We ended up having ‘booty calls’ which was strange because he would have tears in his eyes and so would I – sometimes during sex, sometimes just saying hi or bye. Then it got really dysfunctional and we started treating each other ‘mean’ and like crap – that’s when I pulled away entirely because we were becoming ugly and not being ourselves.

    Now that booty call crap went on over 2.5 years – don’t ask me why, I don’t know – it just kept happening. He never had a girlfriend until a year ago – but I dated in between.

    Recently, i moved back to the city where I met him (just for work – not for him) and he helped me find a place to live. Then he started visiting a lot. He even tried to discourage me seeing a man I’d been dating. He flirted and mentioned sex on one occasion – then when I didn’t respond he seemed embarrassed. He stopped doing so.

    When we started being friends again ‘strictly friends’ – it reached a pinnacle of frustration (as it always does) where one person pushes the other away or one flirts (I admittedly have too).

    After years of this dance – I pulled out entirely. I moved, changed my phone number, blocked his email address and don’t speak to him. It’s been nearly 5 months of no contact – yet the other day he sent me an email from his work email (which hadn’t been blocked as I hadn’t thought to) about shaving for cancer. I explicitly told him months ago to leave me alone so we could both just get on with being happy and uncomplicated. He told me ‘you missed the point’. I replied ‘I get it, its for cancer – that’s noble and great but I don’t want to hear from you’. Then he had a speech about how our last argument wasn’t about calling me names its about how I made him feel or something and that now maybe I feel what once felt.

    What is all of this supposed to mean and why does he make contact when I told him clearly – no contact?

    Thanks – sorry for the novel!! but this problem has been bugging me for years!! It’s like a toxic candy-bar!! it’s got to go!