Step 3 – THE GAME PLAN
Note: This is the third part of a 3 step series. If you haven’t read Step 1 and Step 2, then click here to go to Step 1
Okay, so now you are calm, unresentful and you know for sure that you want to get back together with your ex.
This Step is what you need to do after at least one month has passed since the breakup and you’ve done what is explained in Step 2.
Regain Contact
Now you need to contact your ex. For this you will need an opening move. You are not going to tell them you want to get back together. You just want to get back in contact with your ex. There are many ways to do so. You can call them, send them a text message, email them, write a message on their facebook wall or leave a message on their answering machine.
But the most and effective way to regain contact is by a HAND WRITTEN LETTER. You see, what’s different always stands out. In this world of text message and emails, a HAND WRITTEN LETTER is much more emotional than sending 10 text messages.
A hand written letter is more powerful than 10 text messages
Think about it, how would you feel if you get a hand written letter from one of your friends? Would you be grateful that they took some time to write a letter and post it to you rather than just writing on your facebook wall? Would you be touched? Emotionally?
A hand written letter can create a vacuum and sometimes this alone can bring your ex back to you.
But be CAREFUL, what you say and what you write in the letter can have positive or negative effect in your situation. I will tell you exactly what to say at the end of this series when I tell you about using some of the ninja tactics to get your ex back.
Meet Up
Once you make contact again, you will ask your ex out for a date. But not a dinner date or a movie. You want to keep it short and sweet. In fact, you won’t even call it a date. You will just ask them to hang out with you. Maybe for a lunch or a cup of coffee. Just catch up. Alright.
Set up a casual date. Keep it short. Like lunch or coffee.
This date will be your chance to reconnect with your ex emotionally. YOU ARE NOT going to try to fix your problems and talk about what went wrong. You see, big problems in a relationship will almost fix themselves if there is enough passion in a relationship…BUT… Even the smallest problems will seem like mountains if there’s NO passion.
If you make this a small emotionally charged date, it will fix the relationship much more than a long two hour conversation of why the breakup happened.
Be the Person they fell in love with
Once you set up the date, you will have to show them how you’ve changed yourself for the better.You have to be the person they once fell in love with.
Don’t talk about what went wrong. And if they want to talk about it, just listen and don’t reply. If they insist on discussing it, just say that you don’t want to discuss it right now, maybe later.
There is one more very important thing about human psychology that I want you to know. You see, our brain associates feeling with objects, events, smells, and other people. For example, the smell of a pie baking brings back good memories from your childhood. Similarly, the brain associates people with the bad experiences in a relationship. If you had a bad breakup then chances are that your ex’s brain has associated bad feelings with you. And whenever they see you, they feel the same way that they felt when you broke up or when you were fighting.
You can use a simple strategy of pattern breaking to stop this bad association which we will talk about at the end of this series when I tell you about the ninja techniques to get your ex back.
Make The Right Moves
This date will be short and sweet. But you can do a lot of small things in this short date to push the right buttons and get your ex thinking about getting back together. There are so many little techniques and there could be so many situations for different couples, that it’s not possible to put them all in this short series……
The Ninja Tactics
….this is why I have decided to put the FINAL STEP (Step 4) in an email series where I will teach you everything you need to know from this point to having your ex in your arms.
- I will teach you exactly how to write that HAND WRITTEN LETTER to make initial contact with your ex.
- I will also tell you how to make that small date emotionally charged to create an instant bond between you two, just like the one you had at the beginning of the relationship (honeymoon stage).
- i will teach you how to use a simple technique to stop panicking and pull yourself together.
- You don’t want any of that bad association when you see them for the date. I am going to teach you how to use simple technique of pattern breaking to make sure that your ex only feels good whenever he sees you again.
There is nothing that can stop you from getting your ex back if you take the right action at the right time. Step 4 is designed to do exactly that. The only thing I ask in return is your email address so I can send it to you in timely manner. Click on the appropriate link below to get started with Step 4.
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hey Kevin,
me & my ex fiance have been together for almost 3 yrs in a ldr. we have been through everything & were still together until we started arguing constantly. i was usually the one who started. one night i was so angry i told her to “find someone else & leave me alone for good” & a bunch of other stuff. sure enough she did a day after the breakup. i didn’t mean anything i said that night & now she wants nothing to do with me. she said she’s happy with the new guy & for me to leave her alone. i broke all the “what not to do’s” & further. it’s been a week since i’ve had NC & i miss her so much & i want her back more than ever! i need some advice:(
P.S. she said she’s done breaking & making up. i’m done breaking & making up also & i want her back for good. how do i get her back? is it too late?
Hi, my girlfriend of 2 n half years broke up with me a week ago on the basis that i dont show her enough attention and affection, when i think back on this i realise that its true the thing is i want her back but this is the third time we have broken up, the previous times were for the same reason but she came back and i told her each time that i will pay more attention to her, the thing is from the previous times she doesnt believe me anymore when this time im actually telling the truth,, i dont deserve her for what ive done in the past but all i want is one more chance to prove to her that i have changed, then i do believe we could have a strong healthy relationship, i need advice can you please help me
My situation is a lil different than most commenters. My bf and I were together for 2.5 months and I was having doubts about getting serious with him the entire time we were seeing each other. He was moving very fast and seemed really into me in the beginning. This freakedme out and is what lead me to doubt if I wanted to move further. He was sweet and attentive and affectionate and I acted cold and unattached out of fear of falling even though I really did like him a lot. Well I guess he had enough of itbecause a month ago he dumped me and told me we were “incompatible”. The next day I sent him an e-mail apologizing for the way I treated him and askedfor another shot. He said.. “not now. At least not yet”. I’ve tried twice since then to contact him. Once through e-mail once through text. He never responded. The last time i tried was 2 weeks ago.
Is there any hope here? I didnt realize just exactly how much i liked him until he left. It’s difficult because we weren’t at the “love” stage yet. We were just really really in like. And I’m only looking to date him again. I don’t want to dive into anything serious… Any chance on recovering this?
hi kelvin…i need your help…m from indian rajpoot family..my bf is getting married to someone else..Initially we were friends and we got into relationship last year. We loved each other a lot . We belong to different caste.We started loving more each day and used to chat daily in calls/texts. He was good, true and loyal towards me. . . He knew very well that I can’t live without him. Everything was going well. But suddenly past 2 months he told me that he is getting engaged for his family’s happiness…and its caste problem,,,so he can’t do anything..he got busy with his girl whom he is getting married….
he said it will be very difficult if we some how make it as we belong to different castes .i could see in Facebook that he started chatting with a that girl and it seems he spent his most of time in chatting with her. He also said I need to sacrifice and adjust a lot and his parents will not welcome happily after marriage.
I am confident that I can sacrifice and go miles and miles to live with him. I couldn’t stop my tears after hearing this, keep on crying always thinking about good times we had and I couldn’t eat/sleep.I feel very depressed.its like hell to be without him. I don’t want to live in this world if he doesn’t marry me. I tried to convince him but he seems to be more stubborn and stronger about breakup. But I can never do that in my life.
I want him to get back his love on me again. I badly miss him. I couldn’t pass my days.I am just believing that something will help me to get back him. Please suggest me some ways to get him back? I’m confused. please suggest me!he wants us to be friend after his marriage… Is it best to stay with him as friends to win him back again?
it is best to try to win him back. thats what u want in life, right? ok so its your only chance. dont let it slip. go for it
Hi Kevin,
So, I cheated on my boyfriend of a year while on spring break. Then we worked everything out and I was starting to be the person he fell in love with. BEfore we had any problems with antone else being in the picture, we were fighting a ton. He was alwasy too controlling, and I was too moody…..blah blah blah. Well we promised eachother that we would change these things. 2 months went by, and we broke up because he wasnt changing, but I was. He was totally selfish and thought the world revolved around him. I know everyone says I don’t need anyone like that, but he wasnt like that beofre. So I broke up with him and stated dating this guy. He tried to get me back for about 2 months, and I never really saw how much I cared. So then this guy moved to college, and I started thinking about my ex again, and I really wante him back. He was seeing this other girl, and it tore me apart. I never really realized what I had until it was gone. We’ve been trying to work things out now for about a week, but he wont stop talking to her. When we get together, I feel like he cares, and loves me. But, when it’s just texting and talking on the phone, it’s like he could care less, & that’s deff not the person he is. I really don’t know what to do. I know it’;s only been a week, but I wnt him back so bad. It really sucks that it’s taking this to show me how much he meant to me. Please help me out.
Thanks Kayla
P.S., He’s telling me everything I need to change, which I’m happy to do, But he needs to change as well. I really don’t know what to do. I miss him and I want him back. I have now realized that he’s the only one for me, but he sasy he’s going to need at least a month to choose. Idk if he;s saying that to make me try harder (it’s working) or if he’s just trying to make me jealouse. Please Help me.
My boyfrnd and I just broke up 3days ago after a armnths relationship.Ilove him so much but his excuse for d breakup is that he doesn’t av passion for me any more.He also said he’s not feeling ther relationship any more.What do I do?coz I still L♥√ع him
He’ll be seing me in a weeks time, when he will be returning my belongs what do i do to win him back
Hey, i need some advice from really anyone. me and my gf of almost a year broke up a while back because over the summer we lost contact and when we did talk, she said that i was an ass to everyone and we yelled and broke up. i was really desperate and didnt know how to handle it, so after awhile a wrote her a really long letter about my feelings, but she said it was creepy and we should still be friends. we sometimes talk, and its been a week since the letter, but ive heard from some things that we may have a shot again and from others that it will not work, and im afraid ive fucked up my chances. do i have a shot, and if so, what do i do? someone plz respond.
HI jack i’m no exspert but i say that u need to find out whyu she kinda fliped at u.. it seams a lil out of the blue and u seamed like u were just tring to make things better!
I say try being friends just like small talk and stuff at frist then gane her trust and then u may have a shoot right now just try to find someone who really aprsheates u! I know u can find them and show her that u don’t need her she will come back.
I’ve been dating this girl for 6months now all of a sudden she says she just want to be friends i really love her, it’s strange because we never met each others family and every time i tried to meet her family she said it wasn’t the right time. She is from Ethiopia I’m wondering if she was just hiding me because I’m not from Ethiopia and she is worried about what her family thinks? She also use to tell me to be quite every time her father called her??? We work together at the same job and talk on the phone everyday before and after work. We also always went out together on our days off of work. I noticed the past couple of weeks she started to keep our conversation short on the phone and kept saying she was tired every time i called. I don’t know if she is cheating or just sick of me? She said she loves me but when she came over last time that’s when she said it isn’t working and wanted to just be friends. I’m heart broken i don’t know what to do she use to tell me she loves me everyday now all of a sudden she just want to be friends. Is there a way i can get her back? She also said she didn’t like it when i call or text her all the time or when i ask her questions about were she has been or going. Is it possible to get her back i love her a lot . I’m African American and she is Ethiopian i wondering if it’s her family or just me. How can i win her back? I was just about to propose after we meet each others family.
Hi Kevin.
Thanks for the advice. I’m still stuck. Me and my ex have been apart for a really long time which i think is not repairable. She knows i still love her and that i’d do anything to get her back. She’s in a different city but she’s seeing someone else. I know this is worse than anything you’ve seen so far but please tell me what i need to do and i’ll do it!! I need her back and i can’t see myself with anyone else!!Please tell me what to do!
We had a great relationship with my girlfriend,but some one told her that i am meeting with another girl then she left me
I was with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. he was deployed to afghanistan and was gone for a year and during that time i broke up with him because he didnt love me and i needed someone who could. so I ended up dating another guy for a few months and decided it wasnt working out because i still missed my ex. when he came home from afghanistan, I found out that he started liking one of his friends that he has been friends with for a long time. he tells me that he still likes me alot and we hang out a couple times a week and we get along great! but he still likes this other girl and he thinks that by going out with her will make things better with me and him. this girl is also 3 years younger than him by the way. but when we hang out things couldnt be better. we never acted the way we do now like the way we did when we were together because we always fought. I want him back so bad and he tells me that im more than better for him but i still dont get why he wants to be with this other girl! help me to change his mind and come back to me!
Hi Kevin,
SO my ex and I were together for 5 months, during which time I was finishing up law school and studying for the bar exam. I know that I was hard to deal with because of the stress and I exploded on him at times and we had multi-day fights over lots of stuff. I know that I was a bit demanding too, I just needed so much support because I was so stressed out, causing him to feel like he had to give up his whole social life for me. Anyway, 3 weeks after the exam he breaks up with me saying that he never got over my behavior whilst studying and that he didn’t want to be together anymore even though things in the weeks after the exam were almost perfect. I made the classic mistakes and he kept telling me that I was pushing him further away and he’s right. I know I have an anger problem that I have already started working on, but before I stopped talking to him a few days ago, he said that he didn’t ever want to get back together (though he’s gone back and forth on that). Also, he lives with my friends, and they say that since the last time I saw him (3 days ago), he has seemed happy. I had written him a note saying that I accepted our breakup and was moving on with my life, even though I wish we’d had a chance to work things out and for him to call me when he wanted to. I don’t know if this is the right thing to do or I should just move on because he’s very stubborn. I guess my issue is that he seems totally over it, though I know he was depressed for like 2 1/2 weeks. I just don’t know if I’ve ruined any chance we had together by trying to hold on for like 3 weeks (and honestly almost succeeding). He’s also been really insistent about still being friends, and I don’t know if that means anything, and started ignoring me after I said I didn’t want to. I guess the whole point of this rambling message is that he’s very stubborn, and even though I’ve changed in the short time since he wanted to break up, I’m afraid he’ll never call me and never want to try again. And also, if he never calls, should I still contact him after a few weeks to a month? Thanks so much for this page- it’s given me a small measure of hope.
Thank you soo much this is exactly what i needed you gave me so much courage to be able to think about myself and get my shit together and hopefully get her back too thanks a lot
Hi kevin. I really need you help…. I had a very bad breakup with my ex becouse of my aither ex boy friend. Now i have broken all the rules both in step 1 and step 2. I really want to win my ex back but the bad news is he’s at United states of America and am in west Africa how do i win him back? Like i said all the rules re broken so i dont really know what to do next. All angles show that he has moved on…. He know longer takes my calls and does not reply my text mgs and it’s been four mouths now how do i win him back. I ve done the hand writing letter thing but still has no communication with him. I need your help pls. Reply
Hey Kevin,
so i know i’m only in high school but my boyfriend of 11 mounths we broke up anyways the thing is is that i was reading this thing and i realized i’ve done all thees things in one week after we broke up! IS THATBAD i’m scared it wouldnt work i’ve already messed up too bad… the reason we broke up is cuz he’s suverly depressed and shit and maybe cuz another girl but she might be a rebound girl (btw he broke up with me) anyways i think i’ve screwed up alot!! already and i want to get back together with him waht do i do!!??!! cuz he’s already started telling me stuff we talked about our realtionships and what went wrong i think we went to fast i’m sorry this is so long but i’m just scared.. anways if u could give me some advice on waht to do now that would b great thanks!
-mayla
Hey my story is a bit different. Firstly, I’m a guy, and there was this guy i was seeing for 2 weeks and we weren’t serious or anything, I just think he’s great and would love to have him back. We were friends for a while but only recently dated, yet we like each other a lot. Well long story short this guy asked me to accompany him on a weekend break and although i accepted at first, I ended up having to cancel at the last minute because of money problems.. This greatly upset him and at first wouldn’t speak to me yet after a heartfelt apology all was better, but subsequently he revealed that he did not want to date anymore because he’d taken someone else on the weekend break and now was seeing him instead. All xxx’s ceased from texts and we talked for a while and he said that we were just friends and he was done with me because I have a tendency to badmouth people and thus i had the same personality as his ex. Needless to say this greatly hurt me because despite my unattractive trait, i do not believe that it makes me similar to his ex in anyway. I want him back what do I do ?
Kevin,
My boyfriend and I were together for 6 years, lived together for 2 of those years and broke up 4 months ago. We are both in our mid 20′s. He seems really happy. I heared that he goes clubbing in LA and is kind of seeing this girl. The thing is she’s not his type at all and I’m unsure why he’s even with her. Anyway, he said some really hurtful things to his friend about me so I responded by sending a really hateful email to him. It was really mean. I told him about the new guy I was seeing. I’ve never done anything like this before and he’s probably very suprised because I was always so sweet to him and I did everything for him. He says to me I was the best girlfriend and I did nothing wrong but he just wants to be free and single now. Am I too late to fix things after that email? Should I apologize? He wasn’t a great boyfriend but I can’t help that I love him. A part of me thinks that he already knows I’m sorry about the email just becuase he knows how much I love him and that I would never hurt him on purpose.
Also, He is hanging out with his ex that he left me for. They are just friends but why would he do that?
Any advise about how to come back from that horrible email would be appreciated. Thank you.
OMG this person is a genious…..I love them!! I will follow every single step…..I hope this works…..this is an answers to my prayers…..ok how do i get step 4
Hi Kevin,
I am with my bf for almost 3 years. we love each other so much..then this year may 2011 he move to another place 2 hours far from my place coz he found new job. since then we never see each we only talking on the phone. when he still 1 months in his new work i ask me when we can see each other he told me to give him 1 month and he is just busy then suddently it became 2 months we still didn’t see he never do effort to come to my place to see me. instead he want me to come there..then its become 3 months but still we’re talking like before but its was very less call, he is not asking me to chat in the net. he always busy his birthday pass without even see and until now my gift for him still with me..because of that i always fighting him. then 1 day i fed up and i broke up with him but i dont mean it im just mad because his not doing anything for us.. then 4 days have pass and i called him but he is not pickin up my call and answer to my text. he just answer me in the help of his friend. then that time he told me that its over between me and him..his fed up to me like as if its all my fault…i beg for him and informed him that i dont mean it when i broke up with..then he said he decide. what its that just only 2 weeks before we breakk up we still talking normally. then suddenly our relationship end. I love him so far im not contacting him..i want him back..pls tell me. what to do
Basically i have been with this guy for 2years we study the same degree so im in his class everyday. We been having our ups and down like every relationship but we really did love each other a lot at one point we was madly into each other . The thing is we havent seen each other in 6months properly i seen him twice and i guess the distance has just drifted us everything was fine just until the last few months where he wanted a break because i nag him so much, the truth is i did nag him a lot he use 2 go out until late etc etc but i learnt my lesson about it. Our break was for 2weeks and in the 2 weeks i couldnt help myself i text him once saying i miss him love him he even called me but he text me saying he loves me he still cares for me but he wants me 2 clear my mind (but he texts me once in a blue moon).. So anyways i spoke to him couple of days ago he spoke to me like nothing happend he didnt even mention the break, but yeh i asked him does he love me and he said yeh he loves me and i asked him are we together he said he doesnt know and then i go neither of us have dump each other dat means were still together then he said will see what happens when we go back to college (this week) and he said he loves me.. The thing is we have shared so much together he is my bestfriend my everything.. Hes 19 and im 20 so he is a bit immature.. So yeh i dont know what to do i honestly love him and i just dont understand why doesnt he just dump me coz hes not the type hes always str8 up why doesnt he jus dump me rather than keep me and why would he do it to the other girl? Hes not the type to cheat i dont believe he will. But yeh I dont know how to face him when i see him in college every single day i hope he realizes you cant love some 1 day and then the next not have something for him and he has been really busy with weddings and stuff.
The thing is he is just totally blanking me even if he does text its i hope your well and im busy. If follow the plan you have given would it work, i have to see this guy for the next two years in college we study the same course so what should i do? and how can i use this plan whilst in college. Please help and thank you so much for the plan you have given.
im trying to send this to my email and its nt working:( i need help
for the past couple months ive been casually dating this guy and things were progressing. a few days ago he texted me and said he is getting back together with his ex because she’s moving back to town and the only reson they broke up is cuase she moved. but he is still saying he likes me and thinks im cute and likes talking to me. me and this guy have been casually meeting up every month or two for a year and then leaving it alone for a month till we just find eachother again. what should i do? wait for a month or what?
Hey kevin.
Its been 4 months now that me and my ex girlfriend have been broken up. We talked once in a while before while during the break up in on the 2nd month. but now all of a sudden we stoped talking after we tryed to set up a coffee date . She said ok and that she just wants me to know that shes talking to someone tho. so I said thats ok its only coffee. So she said well it depends what time she gets off work.and that she will call me . But she never did . So I left it at that. Then my friend said that she saw on her facebook status that shes in a realionship with some guy. I havent heard from her or anything I sent her a text saying this is my new number and got no response . Please I need your help what should I do. Some advice would been great. What steps should I go about taking.its been 2 weeks since my last text to her . Thanks .
Hi! I have read your articles and it really calms me down alot ! i was with this girl that i have known since we were in high school. Then while in year4, we got together after i ask her about it. We got together for a year and 11months. It was after we graduted from high school, proceeding to polytechnic(btw i live in singapore) that things started to change. She lived in the neighbouring country, tho she had a rented flat here in singapore too. Anyway, things changed whn she didnt have time for me and i started to make a fuss out of it. And, since we have move on to further course of studies, we were studying different courses at the same polytechnic. But, jealousy overcomes me and i expect her to meet me everyday. I could get upset even by not meeting her up for a day and we would quarrel because of this. So, things went on for a few months and we were constantly quarreling and things went got worse when she told me she did not think we need to meet up so often. We could meet up once a week or something. Of course, as i have said earlier jealousy overcomes me and i had a fight with her over it. Then eventually, she said she don’t feel like kissing me and she dont feel like hugging me too. So then, i knew things had changed. But i did not do something abt but made it became worse to the state that i regret till now. Eventually, she broke up with me saying she wanted to lead a single life at this age while we are pursuing our education. She said she is confused and does not even know if she still love me. Of course i made the mistakes that you have mentioned but it’s just for 2days. After i read your article, i sent her a msg saying that im all fine and that i would work hard on my studies and get a stable job for now. So i have a question, its only been a few days since we broke up. And regarding the reason of the breakup, how long should i wait before i could try to ask her out? We are friends for 4years, and got into a relationship for almost 2 years. I had a feeling for her and i had i strong feeling that i will want her back. I hope you’d guide me with this. Thanks alot in advance!!
can’t wait to read the rest
Hi Kevin & all,
I just break up with my gf recently. I really love her. Luckily I find this website. I’ll try to implement this & will update the progress & result from time to time. Hope it will motivate us & if i failed.. also can be a lesson for the rest. Now, I’ll start with STEP 1. Wish me luck guys!!
Hi, I have a question me and my ex have been broken up for 4years but we have kids together and I want him back but don’t know what to do since he is in a relationship now. Any advice on how to get him back? I have read everything from beginning to end but I have a bigger situation.
hey kevin,
i recently broke up with my gf and right now she is very mad at me. She says she has no more feelings for me and that i let the relationship die. We are in non speaking terms because one day i decided to bombard her and text her. I broke most of the rules and i wanna know if i can recover from it. She seems she has her mind set on being friends and nothing else. I seen now what i have done and am willing to change but she does not want to be in a relationship. What should i do? and im afraid of losing her to someone else.
I have submitted my email and have yet to recieve a confirmation notice or any email from Kevin period. Is this a scam or what?
My girl friendand iwere together 9 months, pearl engaged and were planning on moving in by january, and being married next july. The end of august we began having problems, and had a fight over text! Nothing face to face, just stupid text. We never really fought when we were together,, just fought via text when we were apart. Well six days after she told me she was done, she told me via text, she was dating and in love with someone!. I tried to stop and talk to her, and she told me not to come back. I can’t believe she could change so fast and move on..do I have any chance of getting her back?
hi,,, am trying on some new ideas i believe it wil work!
Hi,
My girlfriend and I have been together for five years and have two kids together and about 6 months ago I cheated on her with one of her friends we had a threesome with, which should have never happened in the first place, and we split up for a week then she let me back in and I thought it was goin good but about a month ago she got on my Facebook and seen a message I sent to a old women, who says dirty things all the time, that if she sends me something like that send it in a message. I have intentions on doin anything with her I love my gf I broke her heart once and don’t ever want to do it again. But when she seen that she said we need some time apart and I’ve been doin all the should not do things in this past month and I think she is seeing another girl but she has told everyone she isn’t but I think so. She told me that she hasn’t been happy. I admit I was a little bit controlling and stuff justbecause I like to be with her and I got mad over little things but I will change and think I have but don’t know how to show her when she acts like she don’t want me back. What do I do
I have a stay away order with my ex so we don’t see each other. We did in the beginning because of a son we share. But I made mistake in reacting to her new boyfriend and now no more contact. Any suggestion?
I have a strange situation. I met a guy and from the minute we met we clicked! from the first day we met up until around the 8th wk we didnt spend a day apart with the exception of 4 days I went out of town. Around the 8th wk I started working another temp job for 2 wks so we started only spending weeknds together. Which at first scared me. But our wknds were PERFECT!! I thought we were perfect. We never fought always enjoyed our time together! We disagreed, yes but never turned into anything big. I felt the week days apart were good bc we had time with our friends n got to spend wknds together. However randomly 3 days ago he admitted he loved me but wasnt inlove. He felt like he wanted to focus on keeling his life straight… This is bc he was Incarserated for 5 yrs n only been out 1 yr. So he is focusing on building his career. I respect n admire this about him. wen he was breaking up with me he was upset n kept telling me how beautiful n perfect I was. We had plans to go to a wedding together the day after he broke up. He asked me if he cld still go. We went together n had a great time! He kept thanking me for letn him go. Since then hes text me both morning. Saying “good morning beautiful” I reply with a simple txt of goodmorning. We exchange to have a good day. its left at that. Today … Day 3 of being broke up. I had posted a status on fb about how u dont give up on something worth while n how I wont quit. He then commented “thats more like it”. Noww I am left completly stumped!!! I am in love with him n want to win him bk. I need advise on wat this cld mean. We were only together 3 1/2 months.
Thank u!!
hey , I`m finding your comments very true . I have just come back from holiday with my ex as just mates. As we broke up 5 months prior to this holiday. the holiday went great and no arguments the best ever.
However on coming back after a week I had messages on facebook saying that She needed to talk to me about something. I had fallen asleep as it was around 3am . I had tried to reply when i woke up in the morning. However I couldn’t replied as I was deleted lol.
The next day i went to work and was having a birthday drink which was late about 3 weeks prior to this lol. and a member of staff was leaving my firm. So there we were drinking away then all of a sudden I see my ex walk in with a bloke.
I was shocked and heart broken as I froze with emotions. I was feeling angry and upset . I left as i couldn’t stand being there and thought to myself I glad I left I could of done something i shouldn’t of. I finally had the courage to go to her house the following day.
Hope it can help me..thanks
Hi kevin!
Well I have to admit that I have done ALL the wrong things!ALL of them..My boyfriend and I had a 7 year relationship and we moved in for the last 6 months before we broke up.He come an evening and just announced me that he was not happy anymore and that he had crossed his limits and stuff like that..And after that he didn’t want any contact at all and declared that he wanted to be alone free and without any relationship.The point is that he said that he was trying,but he never told me so and he didn’t give a real opportunity to us by not discussing a single thing.The worst is that even though he said he wanted to be alone he made a relationship with another woman after a month had passed..And i repeat that I did all the wrong things in all the cases!I made myself seem full and pussy..But I love him very much and I cant accept that he doesn’t have feelings for me.We had very strong bounds and now I don’t know know what to do.It’s been almost 3 months.My last act was today..I contacted with him after a week and after seeing his new girl on facebook and I think that they don’t feet like we did.I asked him to send me some of my things that were in his house and even though he answered very strictly I replied by saying that he doesn’t have to care that if he meet I will discuss about us because he is in a new relationship and that I also have moved on with my life..(didn’t say though if I have a new bf..even if I don’t)He replied that had already given my things to a mutual(all our friends are mutual..) but he had forgotten something.Then I told him that is ok for me if he is about ti bring the rest to me.And he just said ok.He might bring them to me after a decade though or give them to a friend..Don’t know what to do.I love him and I really believe that our thing was something very special..I swore not to press him anymore but I need a strategy to follow.There is no way to meet if he wont come.He avoids it very much.We don’t even see our friends together especially now with his new girl.He meet her at our friends and he is having road trips with her..Thanks a lot..kate
My ex gf is 19 and I’m 21. I had been dating her for two and a half years and 4 days ago she tells me “it’s not working”. She spouted off some problems in our relationship, mainly she thought I wasn’t taking it seriously anymore and how I wasn’t being serious about my future career and how I didn’t ever encourage her. All of this was true but I felt I was improving a lot, in fact the week before she told me that she was proud of how much I was improving. That is why this came as a shock to me. I asked her if there was someone else and she said that there wasn’t and I believed her simply because we spent a most of our time together. She broke up with me for a week 6 months ago but I ended up reaching out to her and she responded and we went on a date and hung out and the next day she wanted me back.
Okay so here is the deal, a part of me does miss her and a part of me is actually quite happy. I reconnected with an old friend that I missed talking too and we’re great. I also started working out again which has really boosted my confidence. There is just always this part of me that is contemplating trying to get her back and I don’t know if its possible. I mean her and I broke up 6 months ago and I don’t think she is going to want me back. Her and I also work at the same place and she always comes to the area I work for break but since the breakup she has been trying to avoid me I think and in the breakup we didn’t fight. I dunno, we did have some problems and I wasn’t taking the steps she wanted me to take as far as our future goes. I think the feelings I’m having are for me wishing I had someone next to me that loves me…
I and my ex didnt really break up, we jus had problems wit our r/ship and before i knew it she was sleeping with some oda guy in her school. Its been on for almost a year now.
She started calling me some 4months back saying she was only having a break and will want me bak wen her mind is made up.
I ignored her for a while (1 month) then arranged a meeting wit her in her town ”’we live in separate towns and shes a student). I tried to discuss wit her what went wrong and how we could resolve our issues but she told me she was pretty comfortable wit her new guy and the way she was living her life presently.
I left rather frustrated and since then its like am the one callin. I cal once in amonth or in 2 weeks.
Recently i told her to buy something for me which she promised to do and get back to me but to my amazement she did not only didnt get back to me but also refused to pick up my call.
What should i do?
I think am making a terrible mistake here
my bf just broke up with me, on thursday, tells me im the one whos changed i dont seem happy blablabla….ok so i see what ive done and who i can change me…what about him, i was happy….well today he came and got his stuff, i cornered him and we had a really nice little chat. he came by again to give me something since i have no car…he let, i txed him if he had any food…none…so i told him to come over after the kids go to bed, they miss daddy (he isnt bio dad, but the only one theyve known so its very bad and hurts alot) he said he didnt know, then said ok 11…soooo then i tx him ok we can eat and talk like we did earlier…i really need to make plans with the kids and out cat, and our earlier chat he agreeed maybe we should date and thats probably one of our problems (didnt know we reallt had any) bbuuuuttt thats hope for me….soo tonight, i know he’ll be starving i just hope starving enough to come chat somemore….i did kiss him on our earlier chat and when he dropped off my stuff…it was akward a bit and quick, but did not feel like the kiss of death..hope again…he did say at the last text about to night that “we’ll see”…hope not so much for tonight….but i do need the plans for life..not an us…sooo i will not bug, and wont freek out, but i will give him time….
Hi Kevin
I did all your steps. But when I tried to meet up with him he felt like it wont help me cause im still not over him. I was kind of upset. I dont think hes over me. Its just been 3 months. He doesnt date anyone. Hes busy with work. What can I do? The last thing i did was I sent him a message telling him that i wont contact him until he beleives that its friendship that im only after for now,
Thanks
hey, im kinda desperate.
my BF of 3 years left me because ive been controlling and needy and insane for the whole relationship (i knew on some level what i was doing but never took it upon myself to change). we are still living together and we only have the one bed… i have managed to completely cut out my crazyness other than a few screw ups but other wise we interact the same and i know we both still feel the same. at the moment he plans to stay for financial reasons and also we have many pets together. he is pushing me away systematically and im fighting myself to stay posisitve and just wait untill he comes around.
lately ive been feeling im at breaking point and i have a hard time knowing what is okay to say and knowing if were are getting better or worse.
i would rather die than be without him and i would even be in an open relationship.
while keeping my dignity i woul do anything.
i need advice on how to stay cool and how to keep pulling us back together. i know that i have to be a better person and im already starting to see a change in me self so much it scares me. its been a month now and i cant stand the waiting.. what do it do?
Hi kevin
im 18 and my bf is 17. Hes 4months younger then me, he has a 5 year old girl. Get ready i know your going to think im stupid. I was going to get married with him but we have been going out for only 2months. We broke up 3 hours ago. Part 1
I feel like i was his rebound girl. He was going out with a girl named ahsley but she cheated on him after three months of them going out. Then maybe a month later we started to go out. p2
I know he has feelings for her because that was his first love and i know how it feel to be hurt like that.. He says he loves me but i find that hard to believe sence we’ed just strated i need help i miss him but i wonder does he miss me or her? P3
hi,
i wanna ask u one thing. ma girlfrnd brokeup wid me one month back. and now she changed her number because i disturb her alot by sending msgs. we have a relation of five years and six months. is there is any chances of coming back, by following your advice. reply please. thanks
my bf broke up with me bec i cheated on him. i never meant to cheat on him but it just happened, dunno how. we were for four years together and i found out iam pregnant after he broke up with me so i had to do an abortion. its now a whole year since he left me but i still cant get over him and dunno what to do .
Hi,
Well I been reading what u have posted for all of us and I’m kind of confused as to where I’m going, I been with this guy for 10 years to which we been off and on and now we have a baby, he recently has told me that we both need to be happy, he basically broke it off and now is moving with someone else, we constantly argued cause in the past he cheated on me, I don’t know what to do and I don’t know if he is even worth me being with him he lies to me all the time and at this point I blame myself for going back and going through the same thing. He is a sweet guy and he remains calm at all times especially when he’s caught lying about something. I look like I’m crazy because I’m arguing with him about how I feel.
hi kevin,
i was with my ex boyfriend for over a year i recenetly broke up with him due to him lying to me but then he appologised asking for another chance so i let him spend the weekend together and see how it went and i choosen to forgive him but the following day he broke up with me saying that he doesn’t want a commitment. i text him for the first week but he was ignoring my texts and won’t talk to me so i decided tostop all contact. what confuses me is he chased me so much when i broke up with him and also told me he was close to tears and couldn’t eat or sleep.. i’m really confused can you help me please and do you think there’s a chance he may come back if i follow the steps that you have given
What does it mean when they say lets take a break?
My story is a hard 1.. my husband who I have been with for 17rs..married 7 left me for a friend. We had just got off vacation and all was fine, and within 3 days he told me he wanted a divorse and by friday I found out he had cheated on me with her. We have had our episodes of cheating in the past but always got thru them. This time he told me he caNT TRUST ME AND he doesnt know who I am anymore.. The past year and a half I devoted my life to him and our children, and it was not good enough. I also found out recently he told her he loves her (after 2months) but still tells me he loves me.. what are the chances of my husband realising what he has here at home with his wife and 3 kids verses her with her 3 kids… I am loosing hope and not seeing a light at the end of this tunnel!
i will do as you say
Hey kevin,
I was wondering if you could help me, me and my ex have tried to be in a relationship three times now, the first two times he ended it because of stress and said I moaned and complained too much, so we didn’t speak for a while after that, only briefly. Then about a couple of months ago we started talking more and began meeting up almost everyday, my feelings for him grew more and more and I told him, he said he liked me too but didn’t want to rush into anything cause of family problems and what happened before, so after a week or two of continuing to see each other he asked me out, I was so happy it was the best day of my life and I really wanted it to work, but the next day he seemed abit down, I thought it was because he was visiting his dad in prison that day, but I was wrong. He told me he didnt want a relationship right now because he is stressed and has problems that can’t be sorted and askedd if we could be friends for abit longer, he said he still likes me but then he dropped the bombshell. He told me that when he was on holiday (we had split at that time) he had sex with someone and now thinks she’s pregnant, if this is true then I don’t see any chance for us being together, I seem to just make things worse, do you think there’s hope for us kevin? Please help me. Thanks!
Hi kev il cut to the chase of how it happened and what stage we was at during our relationship.
Basicly we have been together for 4 years,im 19 and shes 17.
She moved 130 miles away 2 years into our relationship,we made it work by traveling,but i never had a job as i was in education so i was not able to see her.
A week back she broke up with me,saying it isn’t going to work,how she feels that she doesn’t love me as much as she used to.
‘ The only way we could get back together is if there was a time machine ‘ i got lost along the way during the relationship and just stopped caring and doing all these nice things.
I went through a rough patch about 3 weeks back,family problems,housing,job problems.
She helped me through it all,i had her shoulder to cry on.
She said she will always be here for me and that she won’t let me get into a mess.
But as soon as it all picked up,the day i got a job interview she said she didn’t want to be together.
She cried alot and was upset,so was i.
I pleaded for her and what caught my eye was i told her how much i loved her and she didn’t say anything.. She said i was messing with her head and that its best we don’t talk for a while ?
I think the things i said hit her hard and she realised she still wants me ?
I want to make things right.. i now have money to see her and im just lost,i want her back i adore her so much.
If anyone has any helpful tips or just wants to talk to me about it,please do.
hi, i was wondering if anyone has any advice.
My gf and i broke up about a month ago now, after 2 and a half years, based on arguments and the fact my parents would pressure me into only seeing her about once a week etc because they dont approve of the way she treats me.
I love her to pieces, she was my first real love etc and she admits to me that she still likes me but because of the reasons above we cant get back together just yet, she wanted a couple of months break where we see other people. But she wanted to stay friends.
After about 3 weeks she starts ‘seeing’ this guy. They now have been ‘seeing’ eachother for
a couple of weeks now. i havent slept for more than 2 hours for most of this week. Ive lost my appetite and now getting worryingly ill to the point i was sick this morning. This is all because someone tells me something about them or i see some sort of facebook status which includes them. I think my parents are now beginning to realise how much she meant to me.
I did all the wrong things before i read kevins plan at the start of the break up, trying to get back with her instantly and pouring my heart out to her. The past day or two she hasent even said how are you? By sms, which is what she’d do the previous weeks.
Im beginning to socialise again but every moment i have to myself including sleeping, i will think about them getting close etc which then sets off hysteria and tears.
I want her back so badly but i am worried that if i dnt try to get her back while shes is just seeing this guy then ill lose her completely, this is mainly driven by the fact that she told my friend who she will open up to that she now has more feelings for this guy than me because the way his parents treat her.
She is almost 16 and im 17.
Is there anything that i can do to make her rethink whether seeing this guy is such a good idea?
And in the mean time try to at least keep her off the brain so much and even to look at girls as if ther’re not just another stranger i walk past?
Thanks.
hey my girlfriend dumped me today because she said she wasnt ready for a relationship and that she didnt want to hurt me for being in a relationship where she didnt feel the exact same way. she loved me and cares about me, but she said shes not ready. i KNOW i can get her back but i dont know HOW. please can you help i could really use it i miss her already and love her and i need her. please help!
Its very hard he broke up with just because he says i show my emotions too much.i think am gonna do what u said and see if it works cos i really love him
hey, so how shud i make an opening move ? i mean wat else shud i say/write in the letter?? can you now help me out plzzzzzzzzzzz………
So me and my hf were together for about 2 months and this is in middle school too. She is 2 years younger than me but we managed. Then I hear from my friend who has a sister in the same grade as my gf and he told me that she likes someone else while we were still together. On Friday she broke up with me but never did go out for a while. Even though we are broken up I still really like her and it’s hard for me to be her friend because I see her all the time and talk with her. I always try to not show that I like her, but I know she doesn’t like me because she talks to me about her love life and I’m the type of person that helps everyone and can’t say no to them. How can I show her that I like her without freaking her out??
i have the same problem but just start talking about ur love life and ignore her a little more and she will fall 4 u
my ex we have broke up 3 times for little stuff now its big she hates me wants nothing to do with me is there still a chance you think i no she loves me
Hey kelvin, Can you help me on this. My girlfriend broke up with me due to my financial stablility and overspending habits its my own money though and mostly i spend on us and her. I have been persisting and trying to save the relationship but after trying and dragging for a month, we officially broke up a week back. But i did call her if she can reconsider after that becuz she did say its not easy on her and shes trying hard to let go of the relationship. fyi, before we officially broke up we had a cool off period becuz her feelings for me was not right and she miss someone else and had a crush on him, but after cooling off she a week, she said she found her feelings back for me but not as strong as before and she kept insisting that she does not have the confidence to continue the relationship. she insists that she wont be going into a new relationship so soon too becuz she scared of hurting others and will not be with the guy that i have been suspecting. Can you advise me wht should i do to get her back? i have not been contacting her for a week, but i do go to her twitter and facebook to see sometimes, she seems to be fine and easy with it like nothing have happened before…..
Thanks for ever think i hope u can help and me and my girlfriend because We Brock up after getting at each over cos were together ever day cos we have kids so plz plz help cos i love her so much but. Don’t wot to look needy like u say even tho I dun some of the needy stuff lol hope to hear from u asap thanks again
my ex and i broke up over two month ago. we have been dating for 5 and a half years. she was everything to me. when we broke up she said there is a possibility that we can get back together. we remained in contact after the break up. now we are having very limited conversations. reading through the three steps helped alot and step two hepled me to think clearer. i’ve been trying to get access to step 4 but, unfortuanetly the link does not allow me to input my e-mail address. how do i get access to step 4?
Please can u help me what to right on the letter.
my ex and i have been together for 5 and a half years. during this year i done something that hurt her. she means the world to me. after reading the above mentioned steps, especially step 2, things became clearer. i know that i do love her but getting back together is her decision. that does not mean that i shouldn’t try to clear things up with her, and let her see me for who i really am. i’ve been trying to get access to step 4 but no information is available. if possible please can someone assist in this regard. i would want nothing more to get back with her if that is her decision. please help with step 4
Hello frnd…
I m 19 & my gf is 6 mnths elder than me. We were in a relationship for about an year. We met in college an year before. Slowly we came in cntct with each other. Basicaly we were gud frnds first then she found that i m a person who loves her the most. Then she proposed me. Then we spnd gud time for 8 mnths. But she had a frndshp with a guy on FB, & during dat time she jst startd to go away. Dis made me vry angry & i loved her so i lied about that frnd. But she came to knw dat i lied to her thru another guy. So she slapd me & gone away by saying that dnt try to cntct me in future…. I was vry upset as usual & did all d mistakes you had mentioned to get her back… Now she is going on in a relation with a guy whom she hated d most when we were in relationship. We had d brake up 6 mnths before & she is relation with dat guy for about 3 mnths.. Me & my gf both are clasmate. D person whm she is in relation ri8 now is our senior.. So what should i do to get her back in my life plzzzzzz help me.
I so want hm bk
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