Step 3 – THE GAME PLAN

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Note: This is the third part of a 3 step series. If you haven’t read Step 1 and Step 2, then click here to go to Step 1

Okay, so now you are calm, unresentful and you know for sure that you want to get back together with your ex.

This Step is what you need to do after at least one month has passed since the breakup and you’ve done what is explained in Step 2.

Regain Contact

Now you need to contact your ex. For this you will need an opening move. You are not going to tell them you want to get back together. You just want to get back in contact with your ex. There are many ways to do so. You can call them, send them a text message, email them, write a message on their facebook wall or leave a message on their answering machine.

But the most and effective way to regain contact is by a HAND WRITTEN LETTER. You see, what’s different always stands out. In this world of text message and emails, a HAND WRITTEN LETTER is much more emotional than sending 10 text messages.

hand written letter

A hand written letter is more powerful than 10 text messages

Think about it, how would you feel if you get a hand written letter from one of your friends? Would you be grateful that they took some time to write a letter and post it to you rather than just writing on your facebook wall? Would you be touched? Emotionally?

A hand written letter can create a vacuum and sometimes this alone can bring your ex back to you.

But be CAREFUL, what you say and what you write in the letter can have positive or negative effect in your situation. I will tell you exactly what to say at the end of this series when I tell you about using some of the ninja tactics to get your ex back.

Meet Up

Once you make contact again, you will ask your ex out for a date. But not a dinner date or a movie. You want to keep it short and sweet. In fact, you won’t even call it a date. You will just ask them to hang out with you. Maybe for a lunch or a cup of coffee. Just catch up. Alright.

set up a date

Set up a casual date. Keep it short. Like lunch or coffee.

This date will be your chance to reconnect with your ex emotionally. YOU ARE NOT going to try to fix your problems and talk about what went wrong. You see, big problems in a relationship will almost fix themselves if there is enough passion in a relationship…BUT… Even the smallest problems will seem like mountains if there’s NO passion.

If you make this a small emotionally charged date, it will fix the relationship much more than a long two hour conversation of why the breakup happened.

Be the Person they fell in love with

Once you set up the date, you will have to show them how you’ve changed yourself for the better.You have to be the person they once fell in love with.

Don’t talk about what went wrong. And if they want to talk about it, just listen and don’t reply. If they insist on discussing it, just say that you don’t want to discuss it right now, maybe later.

There is one more very important thing about human psychology that I want you to know. You see, our brain associates feeling with objects, events, smells, and other people. For example, the smell of a pie baking brings back good memories from your childhood. Similarly, the brain associates people with the bad experiences in a relationship. If you had a bad breakup then chances are that your ex’s brain has associated bad feelings with you. And whenever they see you, they feel the same way that they felt when you broke up or when you were fighting.

You can use a simple strategy of pattern breaking to stop this bad association which we will talk about at the end of this series when I tell you about the ninja techniques to get your ex back.

Make The Right Moves

This date will be short and sweet. But you can do a lot of small things in this short date to push the right buttons and get your ex thinking about getting back together. There are so many little techniques and there could be so many situations for different couples, that it’s not possible to put them all in this short series……

The Ninja Tactics

….this is why I have decided to put the FINAL STEP (Step 4) in an email series where I will teach you everything you need to know from this point to having your ex in your arms.

  • I will teach you exactly how to write that HAND WRITTEN LETTER to make initial contact with your ex.
  • I will also tell you how to make that small date emotionally charged to create an instant bond between you two, just like the one you had at the beginning of the relationship (honeymoon stage).
  • i will teach you how to use a simple technique to stop panicking and pull yourself together.
  • You don’t want any of that bad association when you see them for the date. I am going to teach you how to use simple technique of pattern breaking to make sure that your ex only feels good whenever he sees you again.

There is nothing that can stop you from getting your ex back if you take the right action at the right time. Step 4 is designed to do exactly that. The only thing I ask in return is your email address so I can send it to you in timely manner. Click on the appropriate link below to get started with Step 4.

STEP 4 FOR MEN

STEP 4 FOR WOMEN

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • ullas menon November 4, 2011, 6:44 am

    Help me to write the letter and going for the date

  • Anna November 8, 2011, 2:52 pm

    i really want my bf bk 🙁 we were together for 2 yrs and was such a shock wen he broke up with me by text … i cant move on its so hard but ur steps r helping me i have to let him come to me , i hope we can sort things out and get back to how things were 🙂 xx

  • aria November 13, 2011, 8:54 pm

    hi. me and my boyfriend were together for 10 months, and really loved each other. we had some problems, like every couple has, but we had a lot of wonderful things in our relationship too. the thing is, he broke up with me last week, saying he still loves me, but the problems in communication that we have are just too much. and he needs time to be clear with his emotions. now, i am a kind of a person that’s oversensitive when it comes to a lot of stuff. not to mention relationships. and that oversensitivity often got us to serious arguing. a few days before the brake up, i really reasoned with my self, and was prepare to cut the drama, and try to make things work, but he just wasn’t sure i am able to make that happen. so, i didn’t cry in front of him when he left me, i was determent to change. not just because of him, but because it’s not healthy to act like i usually did. we split on friendly terms, and he said he’s gonna contact me sometimes. of course, my friends told me it’s gonna be hard, but eventually, i’ll get over him. i am going to school in a different city, so i don’t have to come to my home town often, and see him. and that is a good point, if i really was ready to let things go. but i’m not. and that’s because i know, there is still so much connection and love between us.
    i didn’t make those mistakes, didn’t call him and cried on the phone. i want to make this right. he contacted me first, and i acted like i was in a hurry, politely avoiding serious conversation. i cried at home, when no one could see me. and it’s a good thing, to let all that pain out. but he doesn’t have to know that, does he? 🙂 yesterday, when i was in my home town, i went out with my friends, got drunk and had really good time. and guess what, he was there! we said hello, hugged, and talked for a while. he seemed quite shocked to see me. and to see me happy, whit makeup and my best outfit on, was even bigger surprise. at first, i was scared, thinking he will ignore me the whole evening, but then i really started having fun with my friends, i laughed and smiled a lot, and had a really nice time. it wasn’t long before he approached me few times, asking how i was doing, and that kind of stuff. i was polite, with a smile, talking to him like nothing happened. and i think he started to wonder. he seemed kind of sad the most of the time. even in his smile i saw it. i think that he’s wondering why the hell am i not running to the bathroom to cry every ten minutes. i think he saw that girl in me, that he fell in love with, at the first place. there was no drama, there was nothing that would make someone run away. it was just me. and it was actually real.
    i really hope that we will get back together, so tell me, am i doing ok for now? and what to do next?

  • Victor November 15, 2011, 12:14 am

    Hi,
    i believe you words of advice would help me so much. As i was going through the site, i noticed theat i have made most of the mistakes you mentioned about, but i know that wount stop me in getting my Ex back. have even read through up to the 3rd step, but there is a suspence there about ” making the right moves and ” how to write the letter”. At times we will think we know how to do some of the things, not knowing that we are doing ourself more harm than good, so i am kindly asking that you help me in this areas. My Ex breakup with me without me even knowing what was going through her mind, did everything to get some explaination which caused me to violate some of the good advices you gave on step 1 and uptill now she hasn’t say anything just some flimzy excuses. Hope you will help me in my areas of asking. Thanks

  • Ne*yo November 17, 2011, 1:54 pm

    Hey thank u a lot for ur advice..
    But its like me n my gf we broke up since 1 month after our 2years relationship.. She is seeing someone else n we both r students of 12 grade..n i stay as a paying guest in her house.. So i cannot do dat stop all contact thing.. I cannot change my house even now for atleast next 3 months.. Its really frostrating seeing her always talkin n texting some1 else infront of me.. Please help me… N has she really moved on?? Is she really over me??
    PLEASE HELP… ='(

  • Ivy November 17, 2011, 4:28 pm

    My ex and I were together for 2 and a half yrs and were engaged. We were eachothers first for everything. (we are both 20yrs old right now) He broke up with me because he said he didnt love me anymore. We broke up for a whole month then he got back together with me after I stopped talking to him for a few days cuz he said he missed me and didnt want to lose me. We only got back together for a month then he broke up with me again because he said he didnt love me and only like me as a friend. Then two days later he has another gf and doesnt want anything to do with me. I thought he just wanted to experience other girls since I was his only one and he is curious, but he doesnt want to talk or hangout with me at all. He said its nothing I did that its all him, he just doesnt love me anymore. But when we finally sat down and talked about everything he said that hes happy with the new gf and that he really likes her. So the last thing i told him was”I miss you like crazy, I wish I didnt. But I guess she deserves you more then I do so I hope youre happy and you have a good life. Bye” I know I should move on, everyone thinks I should and in a way I want to but I still love him, he was my best friend. He was the best thing that has ever happened to me…Im very confused, but I do want him…Is there a chance that I could get him back??

  • Arun November 19, 2011, 9:20 am

    already half of the month has passed away .. How long should i have to wait if i follow these steps from now on..? Also inform me what should i write in my hand written letter to her..?

    • Nav November 26, 2011, 4:22 pm

      It needs to come from the heart.

  • ana November 21, 2011, 4:37 pm

    im so excited to know step 4 please send me in my email. more power! im just in d midst of knowing how to get back my exboyfriend.

  • Charlie November 22, 2011, 8:55 am

    So i was seeing this guy for about three months. We are both only seventeen and where taking it really slow. Then about two months in i started seeing someone else as well. I eventually told both of them about each other and then they made me choose. I ended up choosing the guy i had been seeing for only a month over the 3 month guy. After a couple weeks i realised my mistake and tried to rectify the situation. I dumped the other guy and i poured my heart out to the other guy. He ended up telling me that he was to cut up about what happened and he didnt think he could handle my ‘high maintence’. How can i show him that i am not like that? I miss him so much.

  • Mike Snith November 22, 2011, 11:37 am

    Wow seem this thread is dead i made some but not all of the mistakes and my gf is with a guy now that she was friends with for the duration of time we were together he comforted her while we broke up and wen i stoped calling they got together she sad he like her for a while and that they were good friends b4 so she got with him but she use to say she didn’t find him attractive or that he saw him as one of the girls physically he is no match for me they have been together foe about a week now is thier anything i can do to win her back in our last convo she never mention she liked him or was happy just kept sayin he cared about her it is exactly 2mths 7 days since we borke up the got together 5days ago i kinda freak out when i foun out but didn’t say i love her and want her back just asked what made her decide to make that transition and it was mostly cause i stoped calling for about 2wks and she was realy hurting any suggestions cause she doesn’t want to entertain tlking to me cause she says it a disrespect to her new bf i was planning on doing the letter thing even b4 seeing this but she got with him they hav knw each other about a 1yr but pyhsically she doesn’t find him attractiv what can i do.

  • Heather November 27, 2011, 4:41 am

    My boyfriend broke up with me out of the blue 9 days ago (I’m 21 and he’s 25 if that makes a difference). I love him with all my heart and everything seems so dull without him. I called him tueday after and he said it’s hard on him, but he felt like he was changing for me and he felt like he started making his whole life revolve around me (I never wanted that) and it was making him unhappy. He mentioned that he did as much as he could for me, but he felt like I was impossible to please (which is true. Even when I’m grateful, I have a hard time expressing it), and that I never let up until I got my way (also true). I guess I got too comfortable with us. His mistake tho was keeping it inside ad trying to fix it by himself instead of telling me how he felt. He was also slapped around and very abused by his stepmother until after the age of 18 (I’m sure that’s left some emotional scarring that he might not even recognize). He lived in my mum’s house with us for a month to save money before moving in with a new room mate (we slept in different rooms cuz I have impressionable little brothers), and we never were by each other every second. We both work 35-40 hours a week and I let him be when he had homework from his online classes. I know what I need to work on. I need to be appreciative, accept no as an answer, not let my anxiety get the best of me (I have Social Anxiety Disorder and it made going out with his friends hard for me and hard for him to accept), and I need to seek a therapist or psychologist for a couple of these issues. Like i said We talked the day after the break up on the phone but not since. He told me to contact him when I’m ready (he obviously sounds like he doesn’t want me out of his life). He doesn’t want to initiate contact because he says he doesn’t want to accidentally call too soon and hurt me more. Do we sound like we can work again if I seek help for my issues (mostly my anxiety) and I initiate contact when I’m ready? I mean, he already makes it clear that he wants contact again at some point. He also said he’s not about to rush out and find someone else. I love him dearly with my entire heart. He’s going thru the whole “live life, yeah!” scenario right now, but isn’t that normal for the dumper when they’re really hurting inside?

  • Heather November 27, 2011, 4:53 am

    * “Tuesday after” is supposed the be “the day after”.

  • ana November 27, 2011, 2:32 pm

    but what if he said that he dont want me anymore, blocked my number too and dont even want to see my face again what should do then ?

  • Ernesto November 27, 2011, 5:22 pm

    Hey, so my gf of 3 years suddenly broke up with me. She says she doesn’t feel the same anymore for me. You know the same old cliche stuff. I made the mistakes in the first steps on the first week. Then I stopped contacting her all together and said I still wanted to be friends. She called me and I answered and we giggled for a few minutes then things got awkward and we hung up on eachother. Then she texted me saying that she’d like it if I kept contact with her. I didn’t. So the next day we didn’t contact eachother. But the day after she called me, then texted me, and then called me. Her message said, “you wana talk?” But I didn’t reply until 4am where I said, “Hey I just got home. What’s up? You still wana talk?” She hasn’t replied on the same day but she’s probably sleeping. Anyways, should I just keep ignoring her until 1 month is up? And occasionally answer her calls and texts? I really don’t want to push her away and I am afraid I will if I wait 1 month.

    • Mike March 12, 2012, 1:53 am

      It is the time to meet up with her and talk about it. When she said you wanna talk it more than likely meant i want to talk about us. Feel it out…you got this in the bag bud.

  • timithy alexandra November 29, 2011, 2:12 pm

    my lady asked for some time out four days ago , says she needs to find what makes her happy again, she was depressed. she said she doesnt want to break up but also not want me to wait for her.

    pls help if its not too late.

  • Grace December 1, 2011, 5:40 pm

    Feeling more calmer now, time to get those steps in motion.

  • Marie December 2, 2011, 3:04 am

    So what if i broke up with him and im just now realizing how stupid i was?

  • Elsie December 2, 2011, 7:08 pm

    What if you have been apart for a month and done silly,needy things and you think you might have pushed them too far away then what do you do??

  • jade December 3, 2011, 6:26 am

    my boyfriend broke up with me on tuesday he got with another girl friday night sat sun and mon we spent day together he was acting like he wanted me back but sunday i found out i said if you tell me veything ill get over it he said it was a kiss but by tesday i found out it was more i was really hurt that he had lied he said what was the point in telling you for you to forgive me i ignored him for 2 days not a tt or a call he did txt me alot saying how he has chnaged how everythig that hs happened has made him want to be with me forever he also said he was going to show me who i fell inlove with again and was going to show me why i should come back so this is thursday night this happens ? well friday night he hooks up with yet another girl and drunkness is no excuse i totally freaked out and went mental i said after 3 hours of aguing peeding and begging im ready to say godbye now and by you saying goodbye to me would give me closure but he said ” im not ready to say good bye i shouldnt have to and i dont want to ” so now im just ignoring him i think when i see them next out ill play it kool becuae i cant agree with you more the more relaxed and calm you are the quicker they want you back but i just want him to want me most of the time we just want to be the ones in controll right now i want him to beg for me back but its all about whos in control of the situation

  • Becky December 3, 2011, 3:22 pm

    pls help me out am devastated…its now 4 days since the break up with my 2 month boy friend

  • Dhapi December 7, 2011, 2:07 pm

    Hey. Need some help and advice here. My bf of 2 years broke up with me a month and a bit ago and I still love him :(. He said he doesn’t love me anymore and hes not happy with me and he can’t pretend to love me etc. He said he’s just completely given up on us. However I know that what we had was really good and I know we can make it good again. But he doesn’t feel the same way anymore. Hes saying he’s already moved on :'( and he can’t go back. I have done all those things in step one that I shouldn’t have. Such as telling him we can make it work an that I still love him etc. But obviously it didn’t work.
    One week after he broke up with me he wanted to talk to me and stuff. And he said I still was on his mind nd he said he was confused. But now he just doesnt want anything to do with me. His mates aren’t allowed to talk about me to him because he told them not too :(. I dont know what to do.
    I feel my situation is so helpless because hes still saying all those things such as he doesn’t love me etc even after a month. And he lives at uni campus do it will be difficult to meet up. And I’m worried he’ll say no. But i am still crazily in love with him and I don’t know what to do. Please help me! I really need some good advice.

  • silvano December 9, 2011, 5:14 pm

    en mi relacion llevamos año y medio tuvimos un hermoso bebe y empezaron los problemas por que no no trabajaba solo me quedaba cuidando ami bebe por que ella trabajaba yo le pedia que me diera un tiempito por ya hiba a salirme algo bueno pero por problemas economico tuvimos que separanos yo le suplique que me dijiera si era por otro hombre y ella me dijo que no solo que era por que estaba cansada de mantenerme y que ya no me amaba….. las cosa terminaron mal con insultos y la trate de perra…etc.. y se dia me emborrache y la cage…. cuano le suplique que me perdonara y que ya me habia salido el trabajo que le dije ella me dijo que no queria saber nada de mi que otra persona ya la hiba ayudar… y esa persona habia ocupado el lugar mio…… le rogue por 1 mes y nada… ahora creo que tiene una relacion con ese tipo amigo del trabajo, y el si la yuda economicamente, yo he hecho todo lo posible por conquistarla y unico que hago es alejarla y eela es cada dia mas indiferente con migo casi no me quiere hablar por que su nuevo novio esta mirandola cuando voy a preguntarle por nuestro hijo solo me dice esta bien ya te puedes ir…. la verda escribo todo esto para que me digan que dejo hacer para que ella me perdone y la vueva conmigo por favor no quiero cometer mas heerores solo quiero nuevamnete conquistarla…….espero sus respuestas muy pronto..

  • Judie December 13, 2011, 6:21 pm

    What do I do on his birthday

  • chris December 15, 2011, 10:34 pm

    hi, so my ex girlfriend just apologized to me about a month ago, we were together for 10 and a half months before she broke up with me. with that being said, i asked her to “hang out” and she did say yes! but due to a cold, she was unable to. but she said that it sounded like lots of fun. a couple days later she asks if she can hang with me somewhere after school, and we did and it was fun with casual talking and laughs. for some reason now, we run into each other unexpectedly. now, after talking to her again and being friends, i’m beginning to have feelings for her, at the same time i’ve been rethinking maybe she and i can get back together. i dont want to pop the question yet, we just became friends recently. how do i ask if the two of us can get back together?

  • jamie December 18, 2011, 1:06 pm

    My partner of 7 and half years just broke up with me we have a 3 year old and im pregnant with out second child. I didnt see the break up coming i thought everything was fine so was in total shock he left me. He moved in to a bed sit he still comes round to see our little girl i have said he can see her on his own and he says he likes me being there but still doesn’t want to be with me. He still does things to help me out with out me even asking. I asked why he broke up with me and for the first 2 weeks he said he didnt know i finally asked again and he said coz he just got bored of the same thing i understand that as we dont take much time for our selfs and that he not in love with me anymore but the way he feels to the way he is around me doesnt add up , iv never stopped him going out with his mates and im not one to be controlling. I found out that he had a girl round his new place after a week of moving out he was adiment she just a friend iv not kept asking as i dont want to push him into the arms of another girl. It’s been 3 and half weeks now and for the first time yesterday he said i look really nice but i dont want to get my hopes up. I really confused in what to do. Please help if you can. Iv felt like everyone else like my life nothing with out him i cant live with out him. please please help

  • Sheillah December 20, 2011, 4:46 pm

    Hey kelvin ma name z sheillah i broke up w ma dude a week ago.we had a fight someone was calling me telling me that i should back off i asked him if he was seeing some1 else he said no e person phoned again i confronted him,he then decided to end thingz i tried saying am sorry bt i just didn’t give it a chance what hurt me the most was that he told me that he was in love w some1 else.after dat i went silent 4 a week no calling or texting him but i really want him back.on sunday i went to church i saw him i pretended lyk everything was fine.today he called & told me how nice i was looking at church & hw much he misses me.he also asked to take me out on christmas does this mean that he’z in love with me again or he’z fooling around

  • Sam December 21, 2011, 7:22 am

    Hey,
    So my ex and I were in a long distance relationship of 1500 miles for about 13 1/2 months and then she moved to my town and was allowed to do her clinicals there. We had an amazing relationship full of love and happiness. She is very close to her family and she started to get depressed because she missed them and she had/has issues with her weight thinking she’s too heavy when she’s tiny as hell. Also her uncle was diagnosed with cancer and was only given a short amount of time left. So she started pushing me away slowly. After about 3 months we had a talk and decided that she should go back home from October until jan when she was gonna have for clinicals to finish school. Right before she left she said that she was in love with me and that she wanted to work things out and that she wanted us. A few days later I flew up there for her best friends wedding and she was maid of honor and was stressed out and acted like she didn’t want me there or anything. When she took me to the airport that sunday she said that she wasn’t sure what she wanted, that she loved me but she wasn’t sure if she was in love with me. And I tried and begged her to stay with me for 3 days and then finally I let her let me go. And we talked as friends for a few days until I texted her mom asking for her email (which I never got) so I could express my concern for my ex and that I didn’t want her to find out. Well her mom told her, I’m not upset with her mom at all though, and my ex told me she wanted no contact, not even with her friends or family. The following Tuesday I received a box with shirts that I had given her to sleep in and the promise ring I’d gotten her for our one year. And for about a month every at least one day of that week she would text me and we’d talk and she would find some reason to get mad at me. And right before thanksgiving I wrote her a long email spilling my heart out to her. Amd she didn’t reply until December 7th and then she started talking to me just as friend asking how I was and what I was up to. And we have talked every day since then. I try not to bring up any feeling or the past or anything but there has been a few times and she seems like she has her walls up but she has said that she isn’t ready to fix anything right now but she doesn’t want to say too much because she doesn’t want to get my hopes up or down. She has gotten a lot more depressed and obsessed with her weight. She still doesn’t know what she wants and isn’t happy. I am just trying to support her and be friends right now but I want her back. I believe she’s the one for me and I love her more than life itself. She was my world as was I hers. What should I do to get her back?

  • alejandra December 21, 2011, 7:59 am

    What do I do so he won’t have bad associated feelings towards me when I see him again??? Help plizzz I really haven’t been able to sleep just because I can’t stop thinking about him :'( I miss him so much we were together for almost 6 months but does months were enough for me to know that he is da one.. HELP! 🙁

  • Lisa December 21, 2011, 6:35 pm

    Hiya kevin. Wish I could of found you a few weeks ago. I have read your articles. Me and my partener has been together for 7yr we have a 5yr old child. My partener had gone away to see an old friend which he ain’t seen in years and when he cane back he called it a day.ok we have had are ups and are downs but always pulled through it. We have been through a lot this year losing a child on his bday, and him lossing his job which he is stressed out. He Also thinks I like him more like a friend than a partener as r sex life had lessond and he also thinks I don’t trust him. it’s really hard as we r still living under the same roof but I found out that he is moving away after new year 🙁 I have stopped txtin him and talking to him if I do it’s only regarding are child. Deep down I love him from the bottom of my heart I am really hurting inside as how can you throw 7years away. I have tried not to show him that it’s bothering me. When he talks about houses etc I just agree with him which he’s prob thinking why isn’t she begging me to stay which I did 3 years ago when this happend.

  • Caitlyn December 22, 2011, 7:36 am

    I’ve been having a lot of problems with my boyfriend, I moved to the opposite side of the country about 5 months ago, and this past October, shortly after our 1 year anniversary, he said he couldn’t take the pain that being away caused him and he broke up with me. I understand why he did it for the most part, but to me I felt like I wasn’t worth the pain, he was certainly worth it to me and I was trying my hardest. Anyways, it was a very bad breakup for both of us, we got into s lot of fights about it and we tried to be the best friends that we were before any of this happened, we talk all the time, but now he is seeing another girl, and she is a lot younger than he is and he made the mistake of telling me that he sneaks over to her house and I am feeling extremely jealous. I can’t be with him physically but she can. My relationship with him moved very slowly because we both were a little new to the whole thing, and in just a few weeks he decided he liked her and already sneaks over to her house, he says they haven’t done anything but that he slept next to her and they they are emotionally attached. He says he still loves me and misses me and he doesn’t see me as just a friend, but I am dying and I don’t think he understands that. On the flip side, there is this guy I think I might like, and he actually has kissed me already, but I still love my ex and I had never heard of rebound relationships until reading this article. I just feel very torn up and depressed, and even though I have lived here for 5 months, I haven’t once been able to just relax with friends because I know maybe 2 people well enough, but I haven’t once seen them outside of college, 5 months of not having a soul to just be friends with and that makes it so much harder because I talk to my ex/best friend every night, he’s the only person I feel like I can still talk to, and even then I can hardly stand to talk to him and he infuriates me with his sometimes insensitive comments and the fact that he let’s me know that he isn’t telling me everything, he makes it sound like he will come back if he doesn’t find someone better, but I know he didn’t mean for it to sound that mean. There isn’t anything I can do because he absolutely doesn’t want a long distance relationship. I can’t help but be extremely jealous if his “unofficial” relationship because I have only dreamed of doing the things they’re doing together, he never snuck out to see me and I grew up with strong morals and that combined with how new we were to relationships we never got far, our first kiss didn’t happen for over a month and we weren’t open about our…hmm, sexual attractions towards each other until I moved which didn’t help at all. I am depressed because I have no one to turn to really, moving here has really messed with me and being on break from work and college has done nothing but remind me that when I am not busy I have nothing to do.

  • Dom December 23, 2011, 10:44 am

    So my ex and I had been going out for 2 months, then one day without warning she came up and said to me ‘it’s not working for me, don’t get me wrong I really like you but it just doesn’t feel right. When I kiss you I find it awkward and it feels like it’s not meant to be.’ Couple days later all her friends are saying to move on, and I say that I don’t want to. I had a long conversation with one of her friends and I told her how she said that i could make a lot of girls happy and it’s not my fault its her messed up little head. Then her friend said forget about her…I told her that I didn’t want to. She said that I could make a lot of girls happy…and I said the only girl I want to make happy is her.
    It’s been about a month and a half, all her friends tell me to move on because she has… I am still in contact with her and friendly. What should I do to get her back….when all she said was it doesn’t feel right kissing you? I could get her to like me again probably but it’s convincing her that it doesn’t feel awkward… She will refuse because shed assume that it feels the same way as it did. What should I do…..I need help.

  • Rupert December 26, 2011, 8:31 am

    My gf broke up with me. I was so sad. So i got a blowjob from one of her friends. Now i feel better and dont give a fuck anymore. Thanks!

  • Precious December 27, 2011, 8:58 pm

    My bf broke up wit me for an unknown reason bt i still love him very much.ryt nw he is datin anoder girl.

  • Claire December 27, 2011, 10:58 pm

    Please help!! My partner and I have been together for 5 and a half years. We broke up last year for a few months and he started seeing someone else. I did the beggy/needy thing that obviously didn’t work and then I cut contact and he got in touch with me and we got back together. We moved a little quick since getting back together last year as we now have a baby and a house and he has left again. I got a very pathetic excuse infact I wouldn’t even call it an excuse as he just told me he wasn’t sure about us anymore. He has now been gone 7weeks and still comes to visit our baby but it’s hard as he won’t come alone he always brings his mum and dad. Please help me as this is the worst thing to have happened and I still love him so much and he is playing with my heart strings he is saying hes not sure about me but also saying he still loves me and doesn’t know why he is doing this

  • Sasha December 28, 2011, 9:20 am

    Does this Work if you are in the process of a divorce?

  • Ayanda December 28, 2011, 9:07 pm

    Everything happens for a reason

  • Rebecca December 29, 2011, 7:53 am

    Hi Kelvin
    I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years on and off! Then i moved work and met this guy who was amazing, when i needed him he wad always there for me we was so close.. But we couldn’t be together because my bf/ ex wouldn’t leave me’ alone! Now he’s gone out of my life and wants nothing to do with me! Because of the drama said he can’t take it anymore! And It’s past the point of us being together’ my ex is still on the scene! Cause it’s too hard to cut strings with him cause hr gets all possesive and comes to where i am, rings my work over and over!! And all i can think is i would do anything to be with the one who really cared and was there for me’! Except now he doesn’t want me! It’s Been about 3 months and i cannot get over him! Ibe asked him to meet and he said no! Have i already blown it? Thanks Rebecca

  • hakeem December 30, 2011, 7:17 am

    hello. i was talking to this girl for a couple months then we decided to start dating. a week later she came over to hang out, then when she left i put as my facebook, “i dont how i can trust some one with such a reputation, and when shes away from me how will i know if shes cheating on me?” and she saw and broke up with me. i still dont know why i put that as my status and im just wishing she would take me back… we started talking again the next day and i still go over her house and we kiss and make out but she refuses to go back out with me and i have no clue why.. can you plz get back to me as soon as possible, i want her back!!!

  • Lata January 1, 2012, 10:58 am

    -Kevin
    My ex broke up with me a week ago & I reallllly miss him!! He broke my heart! He told me it wasn’t working out & he can’t find the love for me anymore..I made the number one mistake ! Which was I begged him to stay but ofcourse he didn’t stay.. but his my friend on facebook & I saw his talking about some girl he wants to date on his status’ so I figured why he broke up with me was cuz he started to like someone else..I truely love this guy & I want him back no matter what!!

  • aminah January 1, 2012, 1:57 pm

    hey am 22 and my bf is 24 years old. we have been in a relationship for 4 years now. but, currently we are in bad terms, as in he does not want to talk to me any more.even if i call him he picks, then tell u how busy he is and promise to call back but he has never done so, finally its me calls again. but i still love him with all my heart and i don’t want to loose him. what can i do to bring him back? please help.

  • Preeti January 3, 2012, 2:54 am

    Hi. My bf just broke up with me about a month ago. We were in long distance relationship. He just broke up with me because of some reason. But i want him back madly. Plz help me, Can it is possible to get him back as i told we were in long distance relationship and he is so far from me. I can’t invite him for a date. Plz help me

  • Jesus January 4, 2012, 7:11 pm

    The problem that im having is that she is tired of this relationship. Because we fight and get bck togeter again. We have a long distance relationship and i feel that this is what broke us apart how am i supposed to fix this in a matter of long distance not close. i could go to her but first i have to finish my studies in like 5 to 6 months i love her so much we have been 3 years together and she loves me back. But she wants to make her think to herself that we wont ever come back because we are suffering a lot and i have changed for her but she told me that i changed in somethings but get worst in others what am i supposed to do?

  • Amber January 4, 2012, 8:22 pm

    Me and my ex were doing good. We finally found out about me being pregnant with our second child we were both so happy. I am do any day now. Well my ex left me 5 months ago for another girl. I didnt know he was leaving me until he texted me and said we were through. He tells me everyday that he is still in love with me and wants me back but yet he tells her that he loves her. I’m so confussed i dont know what to do. Is there still a chance he is telling me the truth and will we end up back together

  • Toshan January 13, 2012, 11:28 am

    Hi,

    I had a nearly 3 years affair with my girl friend who was known to me when i was schooling, before our affair we had a close friendship more than 6years. we lived happily when we were having our affair. i have done lot of things to make her life happy, we wanted to change our life according to her parents, because they are searching for a guy who have a sound educational back ground and other stuff. i started my degree and completed 1st year with positive results. I brought a vehicle and I made lot of moves to develop all the sides of my life.
    suddenly her parents come across with a proposal to her, then she came and tell me what should I do. because we were just turned to age of 24. we are planning to tell her parents when we are 26, because i need 2 years to complete my degree.

    But i asked her to tell her parents you having a relationship with me. after that their parents said ‘NO’ without giving a justifiable reason. then i spoke to their parents and they never show me they ddnt like me much.

    But anyway she left me without a reason and she made pointless reasons to giveup me. I beg her to d’ont let me go please come back to me. but she never replied with a positive note.

    Then changed my lifestyle i spent lot of time on Facebook and other social media networks and put lot of comments on my friends specially on girls. because i wanted to make her jealousy. i went night outs with my friends and i showed her i can live without you happily. I said her my life has to go on with you or without you. but every single minute i suffered a lot by dreaming about her. 31st Dec 2011 she send me a greeting text and i also replied happy new year. when I was awakening in the morning on Jan 01st 2012. she called me and tell me dear mother has given the permission to our affair but she asked me to wait and see and just explore Toshan’s behaviour and tell him you are ready to start the affair again, so past month she looked about me. and she call me and blame me you can’t live atleast one month you flirted with girls etc… but i tried my best to explain her how much i love and i dd everything to get her back to me. but she didn’t want to ask and she went. I called her several times and sent 100+ massages to get her back bt she never replied. so afterthat i stopped calling and texting. now I’m waiting for he, she knows how much I loved her still i am loving her. please help me to get her back.

    Thanks
    Toshan

  • Nilendri January 13, 2012, 5:21 pm

    Well thank you very much fr tht help..i wuld like help on rytn a letter to him

  • Rob Hand January 15, 2012, 9:21 pm

    Well I thought I wanted my partner back. We had been together 9 + yrs
    She broke up with me and I was quite devistated but realistic.
    After, I wanted her back but gave both of us space.
    We had a great 7 and a half years but then pressure of jobs, children and life in general took their toll.
    I came to the mindset that I want to move on now. It has been two weeks since we split up but I am happier and have life back under control.
    Life is good and I have some, me time, now. I even feel better because our children do not want to loose contact.
    I recomend taking a step back from your situation and re discover yourself before contemplating getting back with your ex.
    When you are happy in yourself you will see where you really want to be and which way to go.
    All the best to you all.
    R

  • anua January 18, 2012, 3:08 am

    we were together for 9 months and he just broke up with me last night, he said he wasnt happy anymore, he is still inlove with me but since he will b working the whole week and go to school the weekends, he feels he doesnt have tym 4 me anymore. Honestly am torn. I love him to death and i want to be with hm more than anythin. I want to b the woman he fell inlove with. I want to make him happy. I knw he is the one 4 me and am done searching. What should i do? I dont want to live without hm coz he is my world. Please help!

  • anua January 18, 2012, 3:14 am

    we were together for 9 months and he just broke up with me last night, he said he wasnt happy anymore, he is still inlove with me but since he will b working the whole week and go to school the weekends, he feels he doesnt have tym 4 me anymore. Honestly am torn. I love him to death and i want to be with hm more than anythin. I want to b the woman he fell inlove with. I want to make him happy. I knw he is the one 4 me and am done searching. What should i do? I dont want to live without hm coz he is my world. Please help! Do u thnk we still have a chance

  • chris basilio January 18, 2012, 8:47 am

    i want to get my girfriend back

  • Dave January 18, 2012, 10:23 pm

    Hey there, I kicked my wife out about a months ago and even though she wanted to come back home I was to stubborn to accept it and just kept chasing her away! Now that I miss her so bad and want her back she has packed all her things and moved out to stay with her cousin, we have 2 kids and hav had a break before but couldn’t stay apart because if our love for our kids! She is my first love and I know she’s cheated in me before but we got over that and moved in but I want to know if there’s still a chance she will back to reunite our family?? Please help me I am in suicide thinking at the moment

  • Vishal January 19, 2012, 5:34 am

    Read all the tips thanks a lot pls send me the remaining matter. . I broke up just day bfore yesterday . .that day I got physical with her n she said I think I dont love you but we were in touch for more than 6 years but this was long distance relationship we met 13 times in our relationship . .n got physical I think I should not have been physical. .pls tell me what to do now. .

  • chantel January 19, 2012, 9:57 pm

    i need help! Thankyou! 🙂

  • michael January 19, 2012, 10:43 pm

    This helps alot but i have one question.? If i stop talking to my ex for more then 5 days she says goodbye an i have to start talking to her again i know cause ive tryed to stop an it wouldnt be that big of a deal but at the moment its a long distance relationship so if she says goodbye for good theres no getting her back so should i say an excuse or something.? I love her to much for words an i we really did have a good relationship for awhile but im doing ur steps an im at ur stop contacting her step so i need help
    h for words words an i doing what you say but

  • Ashley Rae January 20, 2012, 8:19 pm

    Sigh reading this made me feel much better, however my situation is completely and utterly complicated. And if anyone is talking to anyone first it isn’t me. So the 3rd step of getting in contact I will not do unfortunately. My boyfriend cheated by going on FB and flirting, hitting up and sending perverted messages to different girls. We went to college separetly but it was never a problem for me. I always gave him time to skype, text call. We would talk everynight. He had terrible self-esteem and kept putting himself down. He hated his body, face and was failing out of school. Me-I was supportive and I accepted him for his flaws and I loved him how he was. Nothing I said was enough. I found out he cheated because he was so different for those three months at college. He would get super angry if I asked what was wrong or Id ask him if he was doing something behind my back so I would deal with it and shut up. I was miserable for 3 good months, had terrible dreams he was cheating. He called me crazy and said I would ever do that !! But still I was at the point I couldnt take it anymore. I never checked his FB before….he would love to always check mine, but I never had anything to hide so I did and guess what I found? I was shocked then not surprised. But then I gave him a second chance He made a new FB and we were great until Jan 1 when he failed out of school. Then he completely changed acted all depressed, saw a doctor and now he said he doesnt feel good enough so he let me go. Theres more but eh… it got worse but now I am trying to move on.

  • great January 22, 2012, 10:20 am

    i think its a great plan and i woulf stick to it.

  • Kathy January 22, 2012, 5:07 pm

    I found this touching..I would like to have my ex back sompoint in time..We are friends now,but I’m glad I read this in time before I keep making all the wrong moves..Thank you!

  • Darien January 22, 2012, 9:21 pm

    what if its too late….? its been maby 6 or 7 months ,oh and somthing else i am a girl and this is about my ex girlfriend (plz dont judge), so the beginning of eighth grade i took one look at her and i knew that she was just the one….and the whole relationship was kinda messed up any way we could never hangout and she left me even tho we werent dating it hurt and then we got together and some guy texts me and we kinda mess around through text but the girl she left me for is her ex ehos her neighbor and she even kinda told me she had sex worh her so everythime i thought bout that i coulda got sick so yeah but now were in 9th grade and im dying i mis her so bad even though ive left her push me around and treat me like crap ….so is she even worth it …?cuz i love her unconditionally

  • emily January 27, 2012, 5:42 pm

    hi,i followd al ur steps,and realised on all the wrong things ive done,we dated for 11 months and 2 days before our anniversary he broke up wit me,and we had no fight whatsoever,he just started to be distant.i want him bk,pls help

  • col January 28, 2012, 3:24 pm

    I’ve been with my man for a year. I moved in with him after 6 months we don’t fight and have a lot in common. Two weeks ago I decided to get rid of my apartment and put all my things in a storage unit. No need to have it since I live with him now. He told me this morning in a text. I needed to find a place to live this isn’t working for him. ” Your a very nice woman, your just not the woman for me!” Are you serious I just packed my whole apartment. Now I need to find a new place, come up with first, last months rent plus a deposit…. How and why did he do this to me… Two weeks earlier and I could have just went back to my apartment. So not only am I devestated because I fell in love with this man who doesn’t want me anymore, but I’m homeless too! Please do toy have ant words to help me…

  • Mell February 3, 2012, 6:56 pm

    Ok, I’m in my 40’s divorced and a few years ago met my “true love” so to speak. We had a wondeful relationship where there was lots of love and affection. We were very close and could not stand to be apart. This last year I took a job far away from with bith our intentions of us riding it out until she could move and we get married and live in the new place together. It was our dream. However, after I moved we had misunderstandings and stress from being apart. I made a stupid comment one day and she ultimately ended our relationship. It was like the rug was pulled out from beneath my feet. I only taked to her a couple of times within 2 weeks of our breakup as I knew she was resolute in her decision. I only spoke to her about business of getting my things out 4 months later. I never pressured her about anything about us. We only communicated by email. SHe had also started seeing someone else and made it a point to let me know. Sometime a week or so ago. I discovered she was on the same dating website i was. This triggered anxiety in me as I am still even to this point devestated of the loss. I talked to some friends and they encouraged me to “get closure” or I would never get over her. You see, even after we broke up she told me she still loved me. SO I summoned up the courage to send her an email just saying hi. The respose I got back was totally unexpected. A very heat felt “friendship” poem and her personal msg asking how I was doing and asking me to stay in touch. I was floored. We since have had several more “friendly” emails with no particular topic of intrest. We finnally ended up on IM and had a short but nice conversation. I asked if we could chat on the phone sometime and said sure. I asked her to let me know when she was available and I would call. SHe answered back “I’ll call you”. We said our goodnights. The next am i sent a small msg wishing her a good day and later that afternoon Igot a nice thankyou. However, it has been 3 days today and she hasn’t called. now i’m just fretting but i also know I am on her mind as our contact is no sml thing for either of us (such a long deep story to all this). There been no negetive points to anything in any of our chats but still am scared of the worst. I still love her with all my heart and would explore our relationship is there was still “something there” for her, which I believe there is. What to do? The wait is killing me literaly….

  • Jhanvi February 4, 2012, 2:45 pm

    I was carrying on with a guy for about 4 years but then due to some reason i left him (i know i was wrong at this place) this made my BF very upset and so he told his parents to search for a girl to marry him and so his parents fixed a date as 4th may….. as I wrong to leave him I came back to him saying sorry even he loves me but as he has committed his parents he cant come back,,,,,,, what should i do pls advice as i still have 3 more months in my hand to get him back………. trust me I’ve changed for him and i have understood his importance in my life,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, the person who’ll get him back in my life will be a god for me,, that much I love him/

  • steave February 6, 2012, 6:58 am

    Okay so my girlfreind waiting like two years to go out wt me and I fanilly said yes and was going out wt her. But all of a sudden she told me it was better if we were just freinds because she is still not over her ex. But I’m just afraid she will go back wt her ex and stay wt her. And I don’t know where this is going to go. Plz help me!!!

    • kyli February 14, 2012, 1:21 am

      well if she wanted you for 2 years then mayb it hit her fast….let her do what she wants but first let her know how you feel and if she wants you she will come back…trust me.

  • Chris gagnon February 8, 2012, 11:36 am

    My girl broke up wit me just a few days ago and she says that she’s feels more like friends then it being a romantic relationship how do I will her love back and see it a romantic relationshi. We use to go out a lot then I started to stay home all the time and she likes to go out so I don’t think that we were spending the quality time together and she thinks their is no brining her feelings back but I know I can cause she feel in love wit me so I know I can do it again but I don’t know how other using the tips in here but I need some more info who ever can help me pleas

  • Meihnl February 9, 2012, 5:59 am

    So much pain…

  • regina February 10, 2012, 7:51 pm

    My ex bf broke up with me 3 days ago and I really miss him. Its my fault the reason why he left. I did really stupid things when I’m was drinking, said things I didn’t mean, did things were I don’t remember. Now he left me…. We talk about the whole situation that happen that day. He said he forgives me and wants to be friends. We still text eachother. I wanna know what to do? What to do to get him back??

  • kyli February 14, 2012, 1:24 am

    similar thing happened to me…..you screwed up big time…take responsibility for you actions….let him know how truly sorry you are and stupid you were….but ask for only forgivness….and then let him be…..if he wants you he will take the time to talk and tell you that you messed up. but you need to learn from it.

  • Emmanuel tagoe February 17, 2012, 12:26 am

    my ex says she does not luv me. Wat can i do to win her heart so that she can love me.

  • stephanie February 22, 2012, 11:38 pm

    how do you get them back if it’s a long distance relationship?

  • chukwu Emmanuel Ambition March 1, 2012, 4:16 am

    my gal is always proud of her seif, she lack apprication wen ever u did any gud thing to her and she is easliy upset even if its nothing to be upset for. plz wat can i do to have my respect back? and pls i need that ur hand writting letter tanks

  • marcus March 4, 2012, 9:17 am

    So I was with my ex for ten months….we had everything it was really good except for the few quarells we had due to my flirting 🙁 it had a really big incident with me and her best friend….me and her was making out and my ex found out about it and broke up with me….I really didn’t care at the time so I got a new girl and was with her for 3 months….all the while my ex was still talking to me,still telling me that she loves me n that she’d always fight for me but I didn’t take her serious…..so happened that she got a new guy and now I’m hurting a lot because I realised that I hurt her so muc and now idk if or how I could grt her back :'( please help me 🙁