Breaking up with someone isn’t an easy thing to do. Nobody wants to be the bearer of bad news, especially when you know the bad news will be devastating and even more so when you are the reason for the bad news. Telling someone that “You don’t want them anymore in your life” is like firing an employee. You know they will be pissed off and depressed after you tell them. The only difference is, you care about this person way more than you would ever care for an employee.
The first thing that you need to understand is that using cliché’s like “It’s not you, it’s me” or “I don’t love you anymore” doesn’t work anymore. It might have worked in the early 80s when they were invented, but now they are so common that it just makes the other person feel even worse knowing that you didn’t even care to come up with a valid reason to break up.
The best way to break up with someone is just sit with them and let them know how you really feel. Remember, after you break up with them, they will be confused, angry, overly emotional, and will try to decipher what you said to them during the breakup. If you are as clear as possible, it will make things easier for them after the breakup. They will obsess over you for a while, and they will think a lot about what you said, and there is a good chance that they will try to get back together.
If you truly care about this individual, you need to be upfront with them and let them know exactly what you feel. Be prepared to hear what they have to say. It will be a long conversation and you might have to have the same conversation over and over again. They will try to present their case and tell you that things can change and will try to remind you how great you were together. Now, at this moment, you have already made you decision and you subconscious will try it’s best to convince you to hold your ground. And I do agree that you should hold your ground for the moment. But you owe it to them to at least go through their case and see if they make any sense. If you believe that you two do have a future together, don’t let the stubbornness of your subconscious hold you back. Go ahead and get back with them.
After you have gone through the breakup, it might or might not be a good idea to communicate with your ex. It depends on how angry they were after the breakup. If you had an amicable breakup, you can start the communication soon enough. However, if they were extremely upset after the breakup, you should wait for a while before you even try to get in touch. You can send them an email after a month letting them know that you still care for them and you are sorry that things had to end this way. In most of the cases however, your ex will try to contact you after the breakup. The contact will eventually become less often as they realize that they need to move on with their lives and find someone else.