In most cases it’s possible to reverse a breakup. Is yours?
Are you hurting from a breakup?
Does everyone you talk to tells you that it’s over, to let it go and move on?
But what if it didn’t have to be over?
What if you want to fight for this relationship and win your ex back?
My name is Kevin, and I am writing this 3 Step plan to help you get your ex back, even if you think your situation is hopeless.
Breakup is a terrible experience. It leaves you in pain, feeling depressed, angry and often very confused. It is common to be needy at this time. But if you want to be together with your ex, you will have to be calm, unresentful, and HAVE A PLAN. Most of the breakups are reversible and if you do the right things at the right time, then you will have your ex back in your arms.
I am here to help you devise that plan. Don’t worry, it’s not some mind tricks that you will have to play on your ex. Playing mind tricks is not the way to go if you want to have a long term healthy relationship with your ex. This plan is based on human psychology and how to use its principles to have a happy relationship with your ex. I encourage you to read everything in this 3 STEP PLAN and then take action. I can only tell you what to do, but until you actually do it, you won’t see any results.
In the first part of this 3 STEP PLAN, I am going to tell you what are the biggest mistakes that people make after they’ve broken up. These extremely common mistakes end up hurting your chances of getting back together. This is perhaps the most important part of this series so make sure you read each and every point and follow it.
#1 Begging, Pleading, Being Too Needy
After a breakup people make the biggest mistake of begging their ex to take them back. I know it seems like the right thing to do right after a breakup BUT IT’S NOT. In fact, it is the worst thing you can do at this moment.
Nobody wants to be with a needy person. Pleading and being needy is unattractive and is only going to push your ex further away from you. It will only make them think that they made the right decision by breaking up with you.
#2 The Doormat Syndrome
The Doormat Syndrome in relationships is going out of your way, sacrificing your own happiness to please your partner. It means accepting everything that your partner wants you to do without having any demands of your own just to get back with them.
If you find yourself saying things like, “Please stay, I will do anything for you” then you may be suffering from the doormat syndrome.
You don’t want that. Nobody wants that and for two very solid reasons –
a) It’s unattractive. Nobody is attracted to someone who doesn’t have their own opinion, needs, or their hobbies. So being a doormat will most likely be futile if you want your ex back.
b) Even if it does work, you will have an unhappy and smothering relationship which probably won’t last very long. And I am sure that’s not what you want.
#3 Text Terrorism and Drunk Dialing
Alcohol and phone DO NOT go together
This is again a very common mistake and yet detrimental to your chances of getting back together with your ex. People go out to have a few drinks trying to have a good time and the next thing they know they are calling their ex and making a fool out of themselves. Avoid this at all cost.
You have to make yourself scarce if you want to be together with your ex (explained in STEP 2 of this plan). Texting them all the time and calling them just shows that you are too needy and don’t have anything else to do. As I said before, being needy is unattractive and you want to avoid this at all cost.
#4 Smothering Them With Affection
Saying “I love you” will NOT help your case
The logical approach to get your ex back seems that you should tell them how much you care for them and how much you love them as soon as possible before it’s too late. But trust me it’s not a good idea.
Well, chances are your ex knows that you love them and they know how much you care for them. In fact, if they were in a relationship with you, then they care for you too. But they decided to breakup anyways, didn’t they?
“I love you” and “I really really care for you” isn’t what your ex needs to hear right now. Smothering them with affection may even push them further away.
#5 Giving Them All The Power
At this point, even if it was your ex who broke up with you, you don’t want to give them all the power. You don’t want to be the one who is always available for them. You don’t want to be their contingency plan.
Acting like your life is over without your ex will only lose their respect for you. In the history of breakups, no one has ever taken their ex back out of pity. So, doing such a thing is only going to hurt your chances.
No one takes their ex back out of pity. Not even this kid’s ex.
#6 Freaking Out When Your Ex Starts Seeing Someone Else
After a breakup, you feel depressed, angry confused, shattered, and are really hurting. At this moment, if your ex starts seeing someone else, it just tears you apart. You feel even more depressed and confused. And usually, when your ex is in this rebound relationship, they seem to become too intimate too fast, which makes it even worse for you, for example it took them 5 months to get physical with you and they are already sleeping with this new person who they are going with for only a week.
In this situation, DON’T FREAK OUT. Rebound relationships happen after a break up, it’s very very normal. But the good news is that they don’t last. And the reason why they became so intimate with this new person so fast is because it’s hard for a person to go from being so intimate with someone to being completely single. That is why most people (especially girls) will become intimate very soon with their rebound relationship because they are trying to get to that level of intimacy that they had with you. But usually, the faster the rebound relationship progresses, the faster it ends. They will soon realize that the new person isn’t right for them and they were just being intimate to quench their thirst for intimacy. And once they do realize it, they will break up with them.
Rebound Relationships are like Ice Creams. They aren't healthy and they don't last long.
So if your ex is seeing someone else, all you have to do is just be cool about it. That’s all. Sometimes, they start seeing someone else just to rub in your face that they are moving on. And you should not react to their relationship by telling them they are doing a mistake and they shouldn’t be seeing this new person. This is because if you tell someone to don’t do something, then you can rest assured that is exactly what they will do. In fact, if you do so they will go to the extent of prolonging their rebound relationship just to prove you wrong.
Instead if you do something opposite, and act indifferent to their new relationship and just concentrate on your own life (career, hobbies etc.), it will get them thinking. And their rebound relationship will end soon like all other rebound relationships.
Now the above mistakes look innocent but are fatal for your chances to get back together with your ex. So make sure you don’t do them. I know most of the advice I gave above is counter-intuitive, BUT IT WORKS.
At this point, you may be thinking what if I’ve already made these mistakes?
Don’t worry if you’ve already made these mistakes. Like I said, they are very common and chances are that most of you reading this would have already made some of these mistakes. It’s still not too late. You still have a good chance of getting your ex back. I just ask you to not make any of these mistakes anymore. If need be; print this page out and keep it with you all the time so you don’t do any of these mistake again.
Now That we have covered what you need to avoid, we can move forward to what you need to do. Click below for Step 2.
Maybe you both have outgrown what you had before. Maybe you both need to push forward and go to a new level within the relationship. I can help you. Feel free to send me an email.
We seriously have outgrown each other but she broke up with me and I try to talk to her but she says don’t call or text me anymore
Renee, If your husband is not willing to work things by going to counseling, then maybe you are asking too much from him. I think you should follow this plan by stopping communication for a short period of time. Not too much though. Maybe a week or two. And pull yourself together. Work on your inner issues in that time. Try to find out what YOU did wrong and improve yourself. And when you have to contact him, don’t ask him for such a big commitment like going to counseling. That’s a huge thing to ask your ex. You have… Read more »
Sam, It’s okay if you’ve messed up by crying and begging. It’s a natural response. A lot of people do that. And many of them get back with their ex by simply following this plan. Now, you have to show her that you have regained composure and are confident. Show her that you are a happy person. Follow the plan. But don’t try to fake it. You have to actually become a happy person before you meet her. If you try to act happy when you meet her, even though you are crying inside, she will see right through your… Read more »
Vick, this is the classic case of the push pull psychology. One minute she wants to be with you and the next moment she seems cold and distant. There are two possible reasons for this
1. She is testing you
2. She is still fighting with her feelings and is not sure herself.
At this time you don’t want to push it. I think you are in a very good position. It would be good if you let it be her idea to get back together.
Robin, You are not wrong here. I think you’ve put a lot of effort into making this relationship work and it seems like your ex didn’t put any effort at all. But ask yourself this question, do you really see a future in the relationship. If he is so clear about never getting married, then maybe you are better moving on. I am not usually the one to say this, but in your case this might be the case. But if you do believe that he will try to make your relationship work and he is truly worth putting in… Read more »
Mimi, you don’t want to be their backup. You don’t want him to think that if his relationship don’t work out he can always come back to you. You should try to live on with your life. Their is a good chance he will come back to you. But you made a big mistake by asking “Can I wait for you?”. You know why? Because he knows you are waiting for him. He looks at you as a backup. I think you should let him know that you are not waiting for him. Let him know that you are not… Read more »
Hey,
First of all you need to start eating properly. I know it’s hard when you are depressed but you have to look and feel great if you want to win her back. And the only way to look and feel great is to eat healthy. She wouldn’t want to come back to a depressed person, would she? Now you certainly can’t do anything about her going out with someone. But if you just follow the plan, she might get back with you.
Hey Christine, Your story is very touching. I will suggest you to take one small step at a time. Don’t ask him directly to get back with you. As I mentioned in step 3, just ask him out for a coffee or lunch. Something small, that he can’t say no. If he hesitates, say something like “Come on, it’s just a cup of coffee”. If he still says no, just accept it. You can try calling him again after a few days. When you meet for the coffee, talk about things other than your breakup. You can talk about the… Read more »
Hey Casper,
This is the reason why you do not call it a date when you ask her out for coffee. You are just asking to hang out with her as friends. You are going to sneak into her life as friends. Say something like “It was the right decision to break up. But it will be a shame if let our friendship die as well”. She won’t think it’s inappropriate. And if her new boyfriends finds it inappropriate, guess who is coming of as the jealous type. And that will just make things easier for you.
hey everyone ! well my ex broke up with me 2 months ago after nearly 1 year together and we loved each other so much! then out of no where she said she doesn’t want a relationship anymore and wants to be friends? i did everything wrong begged and pleaded for the next 2 months although i let her be the person to initiate contact! i was obviously pushing her away but i only realise that now because just recently i found out that she had called me too obsessive and a psycho 🙁 we then had a fight and… Read more »
i met this guy and fell in love with him. he told me he loved me too so we started dating. we dated for about 2 weeks and i found out he was talking to another girl. he is so sweet and i love him with all my heart. i questioned him about the girl and he decided that we should end the relationship because he met that girl first. also they goto the same church. my problem is i love him so much, i feel so hurt and i feel i did some things wrong. i have this belief… Read more »
That’s similar to what happened to me, She left me for a friend of hers that she barely knew, And on top of that it was her bestfriend’s boyfriend, So her and her bestfriend are against eachother now. And it’s like I don’t know what to do she tells me she’s over me and she is having feelings for this other guy but she’ll always love me because I was her first love. I’m trying to cut contact, It’s been one day since I’ve last talked to her and it’s no lie killing me, i wonder if this is truly… Read more »
hey ,thanks a lot for helping me out thanks kevin
I was with a girl I fell madly in love with for 6 years who left me and hooked back up with her ex. I was so devastated that I immediately hooked up with someone new. 9 months later I realized I rebounded and wasn’t over my ex yet but she was still with her ex. I called her and told her I still love her but she said she left me cuz she felt second best to the internet. I had no idea I was doing that to her cuz she never said anything. She just went back to… Read more »
Okay, So my boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 and 1/2 years. I am only 19, and this year we went off to college for the first time. We do go to the same college and at the beginning of the year (in September) I had hooked up with another guy, and did not tell my ex boyfriend. My boyfriend found out about it last week (In April) and immediately broke up with me. I’ve had little to no contact with him. He tells me he won’t talk to me ever again/won’t talk to me for a long… Read more »
I know it’s hard man, I’m just reaching my seccond week!! I reccomend getting a notebook and writing down what you want to say to her. I did it and it helps. I am having such a hard time, but let’s hope it pays off. We need to give them time to miss us!! And if you do get back together, it will be to build a better and stronger relationship than before!! I’m writing a letter to my ex and I picked a date on the calendar that I’m gonna give it to him. Hang in there!! What ever… Read more »
I never believed in love till i met my ex. He taught me more about life, love and patience then i can ever put into words. He was everything i needed when i didn’t even know what i wanted. He introduced me to his family and showed me what it meant to be cared for, loved and respected. I can’t put into words how much my heartaches thinking he may never be in my life again. whether that be as a friend or lover. I know why we broke up or at least have a gut feeling as to why.… Read more »
Hey Katie, It wouldn’t let me reply to you on my post, So I’m going to reply on yours. Yeah that is a good idea with the notes, But honestly it is just so hard because she acts all happy with him, And people tell me she’s going to miss me and she’s going to come back in time, But she really seems happy with him and they are all playful and like happy together and it’s like me and her were serious, And honestly towards the end it was a lot of arguing and we’ve always had severe trust… Read more »
Oh my god. That is the same thing with me. He acts like nothing has changed. He is just with this new girl and he seems so happy… They make out in the halls at school.. They have facebook pictures up together.. Everyone says that he will see his mistake. But in my case, it’s been a month. I really don’t even know if he misses me. He acts like I dont exist. How can you spend two years with someone, do everything together, And then just replace them the next day? He told me he “moved on” before the… Read more »
And also, my ex kind of does the same thing. My mom blocked his number on my phone so he can’t contact me and I took him off of my facebook friends list for my own sanity. Coming from a girl, I think that if she wants to know how you’re doing it means she still thinks about you. Keep yourself a mystery. The less she knows the more she will want you!! I avoided even passing my ex in the halls for a week and he saw my face for the first time and I could TELL he wAnted… Read more »
Hey Katie, Well I ignored my ex for days and found someone else and started dating her, And last night she’s IM’s me crying her eyes out telling me she is still in love with me and she want’s us back together. But I don’t know what to do, I love her but I think she is just jealous, I told her to take her time and to think things through and if she wants us back together and I want us back together then it’s going to be my choice if I go back to her or not. I… Read more »
Can you email me personally my situation is a really long story and quite embarrassing and personal thank you 🙂
Please please help. I’m on the verge of like…breakdown shutting off completely. i met my ex on vacation…and we decided to make a relationship even though it was long distance. we’re first loves. i haven’t seen her since then which was 2 yrs ago. we broke up after 7 months…but we still loved each other an kept on. now i feel like shes playing games with me and getting inside my head and messing with me. we’re gonna see each other this fall once I’m at college but idk now because now shes not answering my texts, calls, nothing. I… Read more »
Well my ex and I went out for a month the broke up then got together for a few weeks then broke up and the cycle went around 3 times but idk I just can’t not like him 🙁 I don’t know what to do
I’m not Kevin, but this sounds to me like you have some serious thinking to do. You need to figure out what keeps going wrong, otherwise the steps on this site cannot help you. It might get you two together, but what you need to know is why the break ups happen. And any reason that your partner gives is ussually a lie. So if I were you, you probably have a VERY high chance of getting your ex back, but that isn’t your problem. First, figure out what keeps going wrong. 🙂 Hope I helped, best of luck to… Read more »
Me and my ex just broke up… i love her with all my heart. When we first got together she was still married and would bring me around her and her two children. In the beginning i told her i didn’t want to have sex with another man’s wife and she respected that. We ended up sleeping with each other 2 months in us “dating” but her being so busy with her 2 kids (one of which has cancer) we would only see each other and have sex… after her husband left i was with her pretty much ALLL day… Read more »
Mack what i have been learning thru all this is that you need to give the other person time to miss you. Right now she is saying it is sometimes, give her time and that might change. That means not calling or nagging her to see you. As hard as that might seem it might help you in the long run
That sucks but what would you do if you love a guy but broke up with him twice and your now dating someone else.Do you think that they would take you back a third time??but i know you would have to brake up with the guy your dating. But PLEASE give me some advice. (really need it)
My ex girlfriend broke up with me 3 weeks ago. We have bean together for 5 years. She said thing got stall. I did all the wrong things cry gifts plead. But now we are just in the friend stage. I want here back. But I do not now how to. We work together so it is hard to act happy.
Hi, my name is Michael. I am I’m a big need of help. I have been dating this girl for a year and 5months. Ever day was amazing then some stuff went down and I broke up with her. I really miss her and I need to get her back… Please help.. Thank you
My girlfriend and I recently broke up, we were going out for 2 1/2 years, we had a “break” around the beginning of April and then she decided to break up later on, we saw each other one more time where she wanted to officially break up, giving me pretty much the friends stat and that i deserve someone better. I sent her a letter later on explaining my feelings about my whole experience telling her that i have grown and that i forgive her for everything and pretty much telling her that i want to be with her. after… Read more »
hey basically ive been with my love for 8 months and it literally changed my life for the better we were so happy and like two peas in a pod. Then we argued about stupid things and it just kept getting worse we went on a break and it worked but then he dumped me out of the blue being nasty at first then willing to think about it then chopping and changing his mind then finally he said he would get back with me in a few months just wants to be single for awhile. It just is not… Read more »
My boyfriend of 5 years recently left me and our 3 very young children about 2 weeks ago. He is saying it is over and has not been contacting us at all. I made the mistake of texting him and begging him to work things out but that just seemed to make things worse. After reading this i realized i was making things worse. He is saying it’s too late and he doesn’t love me anymore and doesn’t want to be with me. He moved back home with his family in Oklahoma and left me with the 3 kids here… Read more »
hi! on this scenario.. we had a few common which also happening with me..if you think that she is the best for you for the rest of your life.. then have your rights to be with it.. im glad that theres no third party involve.. maybe ur girl was mixed emotion thats why she was puzzled up.. every woman aims a faithfully relationship and you have a romantic present for ur girl.. try to talk to her in a peaceful place where you can enjoy the views and settle down again the things.. there is really one big reason why… Read more »
Me and my ex dated for a year and two months. Im in highschool and was his first girlfriend and his first serious girlfrind. I didnt treat him very well during our relationship. I had to be dominant and I would breakup with him constantly and he would try very hard to get me back everytime. Towards the end I knew he was tired and I started to truely care for him at the end and I became too needy. So we broke up. At first I told him to try again and we can fix things he declined. But… Read more »
As I have read these stories I see great strength in many people. Why am I having such a hard time. My husband of 17 years felt me well over a year ago, it was for the best but the pain was nearly unbearable. As time passed I dated a little but nothing serious until one day a stunning man came into my work and eventually asked me out. This man is absolutely amazing, we got along so good and had the most memorable times together. But there’s a catch, I have 3 teenagers that live with me. They gbecame… Read more »
He’s doing that to keep you hooked..Don’t contact him..stop being so available to him so he can see what he lost..
Move on..
No, really move on.
Act as though you hate him..
He’ll be running back to you.
I just want to say that I’m so sorry you’re going through that. Its just terrible and I feel for you. If I were God, I wouldn’t allow you to suffer like that. Hang in there ok?
Hey, I just break up wit my girl friend after 7 yrs in a relationship. I love her ,yes i do. She started by saying she needed space and she don’t feel happy in the relationship again. But what i realize is that she was seeing some other guys behind my back. Through our relationship, she was HIV positive and have this concept of very soon she shall die so need to live her life and have fun. I’m afraid she might put other people at risk and i love her that i don’t want to lose her. When with… Read more »
hie i don’t think ignorin is a good idea..she might have called u because she also feels the same as u do…she might want to see you or wanna say something to you…if you ignore her then she night change her mind listen to her lets her share her feeling..to you..
yes u are right at this moment ignoring is the worst thing as once u ignore during this heart breaking duration then distances between both the lovers increase which makes ur lover more hesitant and he or she finds difficulty in expressing his/her true feelings
do break up happily come on move on man!! she doesnt deserve u let her do whatever she wants .. always remember my friend that this life is tooooo short for sufferings and sorrows. grow up and do something admirable achieve something for yourself and your parents ……… love the person who deserve your love and cares for your feelings and trust on god and ur destiny u will get a better girlfriend than this girl………and this is really a fact girls generally dont care for their lovers’ feelings ……….. so u just concentrate on your life and move on… Read more »
Okay here is the deal. I’m a gay male and was with a guy named Michael. We rushed into a relationship very fast. We started dating at first sight. We were together 2 weeks, and he moved in with me. Durring the first week of the relationship I cheated on him, and regret it dreadfully. But, I told him right then and there, and was 100% honest. We worked it threw, as best we could. But during the whole relationship we constantly argued and fought . . over petty thing. I treated him horribly during the relationship, but in actuallity… Read more »
I turns out yes him and Cody broke up, but he snuck around and got back together with him 2 days after. And, has been back with him since. I just learned this. I really dont know what to do anymore. I want him out of the house away from me. I love him dearly, and want him back very bad. But i have cought him in to many lies. PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME I want him gone, for now. I dont want to see him, or hear from him. I am literally mentally unstable and him living wiht me… Read more »
Kevin can you help me please read all above . . im in dire need of help.
it turns out he isnt actually with the boy . . it was a lie he told me to ‘try to get him off his back’ and also the boy has also cought him in a few lies . . .
i really love this boy, dont know what to do. PLEASE HELP!
Hey Jacob, Like you said above, right now you need some time away from him and evaluate yourself and the relationship you had with him. Do you two live together? If so, try find a way to get away from there for a month or so. You said he moved in with you. Now that you are broken up, I think it will be fair that you asked him to move out. Be honest with him and tell him that you need your space at the time and it might be the right thing to do at the moment. Jacob,… Read more »
i broke up with my boyfriend 5 days ago, we were going out for 6 months together, he broke up with me because i was needy and sticky to him, i was insecure, and after breaking up i did all the wrong steps. He told me today that he doesn’t love me and didn’t miss me at all, and that there is no chance to get him back, I don’t know what to do and how much chances I have with him anymore?
He really hasn’t had time to miss you yet and if the reason for breaking up was that he felt smothered, then he needs to see that you can give him space. You have a head start in the process of wining him back – he has told you the reason for the breakup. Take a few days to reflect on this before having anymore contact with him. He needs to know that you can stand on your own two feet and that you aren’t going to plead for his love. Take care of your self and let him begin… Read more »
i told him to start dating again in order to find out that i am not so boring ,and maybe change his thoughts about me ,he didnt told me no but he said he is not ready yet.
not being again together but just going out ,when he told is over he asked me just to be friends cause i am a good person
Be yourself it’s the best advice i could give you.
Good Luck
Hi Kevin, My ex boyfriend and i broke up two days ago after being together for four years. before we start going together he had a big crush on me so when we officially got together we rushed in to things so four years later our feeling for each other werent the same and we decided the relationship was over but i cant bare not being with him. we still care and love each other but i was the only one that wanted to make it work he says he doesnt want to be in a relationship and he was… Read more »
Hey, so me and my girl broke up about 5days ago, now I’ve cried but no t in front of her I’ve tried to convince her to come back I’ve asked her if she was seeing somebody else, and I’ve confessed all my feelings to her, its only been 5 days is it to late to follow this plan
Hey Stan,
It’s not too late. Give it a try.
my girlfriend and i were good friends before and we were dating for about 6 months before she said that “her feelings had died” and she just wanted to “go back to being friends”. this was 4 days ago. last night, she called up and we had a chat like old times, nothing too deep or referring to the topic, but friendly. however, this morning, when i saw her (we study in the same place), she pretty much ignored me, just saying hi and nothing else. also, her friends were glaring at me when i went over. she says that… Read more »
Hi Kevin; My boyfriend broke up with me since 3 months ago we were so in love with each other but we had some troubles. After one week from breaking up I called him and asked him for another chance he refuses and told me that its over and there’s no hope I agreed with him and hang up. After one month I called him and asked him about the reason that he broke up with me and he told me that its over and he is going out with a lot of girls and he has moved on with… Read more »
Hey, If he tells you that he hates you, it’s not such a bad thing. Hatred isn’t the opposite of love, indifference is. For now, I’d recommend that you just follow the plan. Start clean. Send him a hand written letter which says that you “Agree with the breakup” and that it was the right thing to do. And then work on the 3 Step Plan. Remember that Step 2 is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. Read it and act on it. You have to get out there and have fun with your friends and start doing something constructive. Unless you do, the… Read more »
i don’t what is happening in my life me and my ex was together from last 8 months and he was even serious so was I, but I was committed to another boy in my past. I don’t know why is he making him interfere and I don’t know what is happening to him he is being really rude. Plus he says he doesn’t love me anymore. He cant see his future with me. I can’t live without him. He is making my past a problem between our relationship and he wants to breakup I told him a million times… Read more »
Hi Garima, First of all stop with the begging. Stop begging me and stop begging your ex. It’s VERY VERY unattractive. Did you read the #1 mistake in this article? Second of all, it seems at this point your boyfriend has already made up his mind to break up with you. It is a very emotional state for him and you both, so trying to convince him with logic (in your case, telling him that it was your past and that you love him now etc.) will not help you much. I’d recommend that you actually break up with him… Read more »
Hey kevin, me and my ex broke up nine days ago, and the reason for it was because she told me that she just dosent feel the same way for me anymore, we have dated for six months abd threw this time we have done alot together and gone to lots of memorable places together and we have had very special moments together and I dnt undersyand how after everything went so well that all of a sudden she dosent feel the same for me anymore, I tried to convince her to stay but sge wouldnt agree ive begged and… Read more »
Hi Kevin, All of this is great stuff and I have Matt’s system and I have learnt ALOT. Its great. Im going through the steps right now. The only problem is my situation is confusing. To me anyway! My ex and I have been together for 5 yrs and we have 2 small children together. She left me about a year ago and came back a few months later and things were good for a few months after. The problem was after she left the first time i had become very paranoid and jelous of every guy that came around.… Read more »
Hey Derek, You are on the right track. Although, if you are in the no contact period, don’t let her get too close. When you talk to her, make sure it’s nothing personal/intimate; and only related to the kids. Don’t try to get close to her for one month. And don’t talk anything bad about her in front of the kids. You have to give it time. I know it’s tempting as you have to see her almost everyday. But you must resist the temptation and it will pay off in the end. Also, you need to find things to… Read more »
Thanks Kevin. If i didnt come across your web page i would probably still me crying and begging for her to come home. Even if she doesn’t come home. Reading this and Matt’s Ex2 system has really lifted alot of pain and heart ache. Thanks again.
Okai, this is the first ive wrote to a website about relationship problem but because I love this boy so much, and I cant believe whats happened I just want to know how I can get him to want me back again. First of all I would like to explain who was involved but names are going to be anonymous. Me, John(the bf), Andrew(Johns best mate), Gavin(John and my mate), Libby(Gavin gf), Dean(Libby mate). Right ok, here is the story, we had all been drinking alcohol, we werent steaming just tipsy and merry. Considering we were drinking outside we had… Read more »
hey man, the girl that I loved the most left me about a week ago. she said she had given up on the relationship and i was the one that screwed it up. I really want her back and ive done almost everything you said not to do this past week. I dont know if its too late to get her back or not. but I have been trying to improve myself also. I just need some general advice also so if you could take your time to email that would make me so happy about this situation
Hi, Ive been going through a breakup for about two weeks. She said she has already dealt with her feelings (and she is a strong minded person) the other day. Am now in ‘No Cotact’ period however the problem is we live about 50 miles away from each other and when we were together we only saw eachother on weekends? Can distance be an advantage or disadvantage?
My ex left me after 4,5 years of long distance relationship. Was planning to move there next year. We used to fight a bit via phone but rarely when we were together. I pushed her to date other guys in the start as I wanted an open relationship but she never did except once for dinner. We finally stopped this and went on to get engaged until one day she called and dropped me. She then visited me on Valentines and have a great time, she only stayed 2 day instead of a week as she said she was hurting… Read more »
It’s been more than a year since me and my boyfriend broke up. He started avoiding me, completely avoiding me until everything got cool and we agreed to remain friends. Whenever I tell him that I love him, he would start ignoring me and keep on telling that we are better off as friends. I wanted to move and just forget everything since it’s been already A YEAR! so I decided to delete his number and even in my facebook, he always confronts me whenever I do that or deactivate my account, It’s like he still wanted to have contact… Read more »
i finished with my gf now av realised what a lost, but she had a baby when we split up but convinced me it was mine, then we got back together again, but a had to leave, to clear my head now she doesnt want anything to do with me help
Hi Kevin, My friend and his girl friend have mutually broken up before 1 year and his girl friend came in contact with me just before 3 months or so and we both fell in love so deeply. All the texts, all the moments we met, all the feelings we share, honestly she has taken so much risk and she was completely with me. But she still has feelings for his ex because they spent 4 years together. Now I made a mistake by trying to cut down on her feelings with her ex. I told her about the truth… Read more »
my girlfriend of ten months just spilt with me after us just going on holiday for 2 weeks. things were not great before we went, but not totally terrible. there were a few moments on holiday, but we still had a good time. we normally only saw each other a few times a week so it was quite intense. i still want to be with her. what should i try? the split happened last week, but not spoken to her for 8 days now. thanks for any help
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a year and a half before we broke up. We met in the beginning of junior year in high school and began dating the beginning of senior year. You could call us high school sweethearts. We were the couple many people would not have originally to date but once we did begin dating, everyone thought we were an adorable couple. We saw each other almost every single day during school and almost everyday outside of school. We were inseparable and spent every moment together. Of course once summer came and went it… Read more »
My ex & I dated for a year and 3 months. we were eachother’s first everything. I messed up a lot in the relationship & when I finally decided to get it together, he broke up with me. I started talking to other guys & he found out & said he was completely done. He ended up getting a new girlfriend. AND he sleeps with someone else. I’ve had 0 contact with him since he got a new gf. I heard he talks hella crap about me whenever my name comes up. & supposedly he loves someone else and denies… Read more »
me and my ex bf have almost been seperated for 1 year. this hasnt been the first time that we have been this way. we both lived inthe same town. but i wanted to move back home to where i was b4 i met him. he let me go but we soon realized it was a big mistake so i moved back a couple months later, but then i got homesick again and left once more. we were seperated for 11 months b4 moving back there again. i spent another 2 months with him and he told me to just… Read more »
Me and My ex-boyfriend dated for 7 months but we acting like boyfriend and girlfriend for like a year. We loved each other so much and we always talked about getting married and being together forever. I lost my virginity to him cause I honestly thought we’d stay together. I still love him and idk if he loves me. But he broke up with me cause’ I often accuse him of not loving me or cheating. I knew that he loved me, I guess I just needed the extra attention. He broke up with me saying “lets take a break.”… Read more »
Hi, After reading most different websites including yours, I realized that what I have been doing would only push my ex away further. Recently, I often texted her and surprised her in sincere ways like publishing apology newspaper and sending her a new puppy of her favorite. But she already has puppy earlier before I bought. She felt scared of me due to my actions. On the day of our break up, her parents even called police to stop me from talking to her. She does not care about me and firmly told me that she does not love me… Read more »
hi my names dorian i have recently split with my ex 1 month ago we have been together for seven years and we have a six year old daughter i was under a lot of stress from work and other things she has moved out as i told her to go and i am in terrible loss i feel that i have made the worst mistake of my life … I love them both terribly and it is killing me i have done every thing i shouldnt have and i have pushed her over the edge… in one month i… Read more »
my ex and i dated for one year, just being next to each other made us happy and we both love and loved, we still do, but because I am in the USA for school, and she in Asia we can only skype. I was a terrible boyfriend, got use to the phone calls too much and didnt appriciate her. I was suppose to come visit her this summer, but selfishly, I decided not to because of personal reasons which I am now regretting. Because i was away for four months, and then left for another country (not the one… Read more »
Hi, I’ve been with my boyfriend for 6 years and we broke up 2 days ago. He said that he didn’t know what he wanted anymore. But he did know that he does’t want to be with anyone at the moment, just needed to be by himself. I’m shocked because have the same outlook for life and we started to plan a future togetther. We were suppose to finish our studying and go travelling together for a year. I’m so confused as to why everything has changed. Iknow he has been going out alot more reently and has made a… Read more »
Hi Kevin. My boyfriend broke up with me 3 weeks ago. We’d been dating for the past 2 months. We’re only teenagers (I just turned 15 some days ago and he’s 13), but I really, really like him and I know that he loved me too. He broke up because he said that we argued too much, but he still loved me, he just couldn’t be bothered to stay with a girl that gets annoyed really easily. The reasons why I argued with him weren’t his fault, I had some problems at home with my family, no one seemed to… Read more »
hey kevin, i “talked”to this girl for about 2 months, by the way i am also a girl and this was my first girl girl relationship. but while we were talking, i have never been so happy in my life. She was happy, so was i and we spent everyday together . we didnt have a lot of extra time but when we did we usually saw each other. We rarely argueed about anything and we got along really good except at the begining her ex of 4 years kept trying to contact her. i put a stop to that… Read more »
Hey Rebecca, It’s upto you to decide whether or not this relationship is worth fighting for. If I had to guess, I think you will choose to fight for it. Rebecca, insecurity is a BIG attraction killer. If you are insecure about her being friends with her ex, then you are just sending out a signal that says “I don’t think I am not good enough for you”. So I think you should just be cool about her being friends with her ex for now. When you go out tonight, just be friendly and have fun. Don’t talk about the… Read more »
My ex and I broke up a few days ago…. I kind of hinted at it because I thought he was getting more and more distant and to my surprise he actually agreed to break up. Unfortunately, he told me that he was unsure if he truly loved me so I made a lot of the mistakes that you mentioned. I was really depressed and still am and I can’t concentrate on anything but him. I can’t let go and he said he’d give me a concrete answer in a month, probably because he’s unsure of himself and he wants… Read more »
thanks kevin! but we ended up talking about what we are and she pretty much said she wanted to be friends with benefits. and possibly could become more later…do you think this is a good idea?
Hi Kevin I dated for seven months, the longest both of us have been in a relationship. A month ago though she called me up crying saying she couldn’t go any further, she thought I was a great guy but that we lived too far from each other (50 miles or so). She said she wanted to be friends, I said that would be okay but not sure how to cope if she met someone else. She said it would be the same for her if I met someone else. I said will we meet up one last time to… Read more »
Hey kevin, I really need serious help on this please I really feel pain in my heart because of one girl that i loved the most!! I sleep with tears in my eyes and I wake up with pain an tears in my eyes…anyway so here is the story. So it all begins when i met her in the pool she use to work with me and she is the one who show attraction to me and did all the first steps… we start talking and going out as friends but in the term of (dating) we kissed each other… Read more »
I am deeply like so wanting my ex back. He played games with me. He cheated and was conspiring to cheat with one of our friends. He was planning on moving to be with someone else, and he told me that he was going away to work and that he didn’t know when he was coming back. Meanwhile he was planning on going away, we had an argument and he used it as an excuse to break up with me. I begged him day and night to take me back, because I thought that it was my fault why we… Read more »
I have been with my bf for only a year. We lived together for a few months & went to school together. In that time we started to fight ALOT. the summer before that we spent a lot of time together, but i knew we were getting bored. This summer we’ve broken up & he seems much happier. We talk, we still argue and say i love you. I have made some stupid mistakes, not cheating, but now he says he doesn’t trust me or know if the relationship is worth saving. He has made some mistakes too and he… Read more »
Hi Mr. Kevin, (pardon my english). I need your opinion about this… 2 months ago my ex girlfriend ended our relationship without giving me any reason. I texted her, i call her, and message her on facebook. But she doesn’t respond. But now, I think I know whats that reason. I really want her back, so I did search on google and I found this website. After I read the 3 steps, it motivated me to move on and make a plan to make her back to me. But few days ago, I saw her online on facebook, I didn’t… Read more »
I have done all of the wrong things. ALL of them. But I know that he still has feelings for me even though he is seeing someone else. He has said so himself. Yesterday I found out they were in a relationship and I told him he was making a mistake (of course I did) and I asked him if he honestly felt in his heart that we were over. He said no. I know I can get him back and I know that is what I want. I need help to stop doing the things that are pushing him… Read more »
I guess I should add some info. I believe they are both rebounding on each other. Our relationship ended because he felt like I was ignoring him and that meant I didn’t love him anymore. We have also had a few fights where I have told him to ‘get out’ although it wasn’t what I wanted, it was dramatic and it’s what I said. This girl came out of nowhere at the end of her marriage and they started talking and he kissed her we broke up and now only a month later they are in a relationship. Her divorce… Read more »
Hi, my ex found me on facebook back in Feb and we have some mutual friends in common. The first few weeks we went out almost every night and he started coming over my house often to see my parents. By one month he brought his parents over to meet mine and about 2 months we slept together…he was my first…and it seems like he would only hangout to sleep with me after that….I went away for about 5 days on vacation and we still spoke but once i returned it was about 3 months….and he disappeared on his vacation…and… Read more »
Hey, I read your story & comment. I need some advice from a guy. My ex and I dated for 8 months. We loved each other and have amazing memories, now hes joinging the NAVY, asked he has asked if Id marry him..I said yeah. Now about a week ago he told me he has been smoking cigarets. It came as a shoke cus he had not not told me this before. Anyways I made a big deal and broke it off cus of frustrTion. Then right away I took it back, but He DIDNT.accept. He then said he just… Read more »
I have being with My GF for almost 3 years. She was my 1st love. 3 weeks ago she just suddenly tell me that she wanna break up because she got no more feelings for me and she thinks that we doesnt share much interest in common and it’s hard to be together and rather boring for her… And i also thinks that i might also be myself as i was too busy with studies 2 month ago and didnt get to date her out much. I cried, i beg, I tried anything possible but she just said we’re just… Read more »
Hi there.don’t really know where to start…umm well i was with my ex for 5 years we broke up feb 23rd 2011. The reason why we broke up was cos of my parents.I was living two lives which caused mr stress, I basically kept her a secret:(. So anyway i made a huge mistake in breaking up with her,when she begged me and please me not too. It’s been nearly 5 months since we broke,iv tried contacting her,chase after her,nut she says she is exhausted she cant do this anymore,I feel So alone,im madly in love with her,she’s the love… Read more »
i need someones help. as i feel that i am loosing her, i cant eat, sleep, or think straight without her, i jsut need her back, i was happy with her, she made my day everyday, but i saw her a yesterday and she seems so happy and fine. spoke to me and said ‘have a good day’ how can i have a good day without the love of mylife
Hi I’m em , I’m an almost 8 th grader my boyfriend broke up with me on the last day of school after dating for a week 🙁 even though it was only a week all I think about is him 24/7 he said because it was summer we should just be friends since I wouldn’t see him as much except we were gonna go to a movie this Tuesday . I need help!!! I feel lifeless with out him 🙁 can anyone tell me what went wrong ? Is it really cuz we might not see eachother as much… Read more »
seriously, your in the 8th grade, you need to live, your only a child, you dont need a relationship at that age. try having a realtionship longer than 2 years, and then finishing it? then you will feel real heartbreak.
your only young, with allot to experience and find, so take advantage of this and just be you
Me and my boyfriend broke up and he told me first it was a break then he told everyone we weren’t together, it was news to me… Exertions he sees me upset he comes up to me and hugs me he even kissed me on the cheek sayin well spend a day together and talk when he comes gets his things, then I see his mom she started talking to me and I was really upset, he started coming up to me and talking more, he came to my house to grab his I pod changed his shirt left it… Read more »
Vick,
First of all you ame a mistake to beg her and cry to stay with you. Women stay with men who have high self-esteem afn self-respect.
When she told you that she wants to break up she meant exaclty that.
Don’t fall to the trap to see her again because you are doint it worst. There are plenty of girls who will make you happier than her.
She is just playing with you and you will be miserbale with her
Good Luck:)
Me and my girlfriend had only known eachother for about 2 months and we had just started dating about a week ago. last night she called me and told me that she doesnt want a relationship right now and that she doesnt want the responsibilty of a boyfriend because she is still in high school and i am 19 years old. she is 17 and is a senior and plays volleyball and works alot. her mom cannot do much due to her needing back surgery. so she has to do pretty much everything for her mom and she told me… Read more »
Ok first off I’ve been with this girl for over 2 yrs now. She broke up with me over a week ago and completely ignores me. I did all the wrong things first by begging and promising things will change I’ve since stopped doing that. Her friend she living with says not to give up she still thinks there’s a chance she also said she just really needs a break right now . She has moved out and living with her. This girl means everything to me I just need advice on how to get her back for good. The… Read more »
If he tells you he doesn’t want you – he is right not you. My ex told me 100 times a day he loved me and wanted me only- he lied jut like people do. He will not come back- talking will only hurt everyone more. Please get help everyone on this site-, your ex will NEVER be guaranteed back- I hope you feel better.
My boyfriend & I have just split after living together for just under two years. I recently left a well paid, very stressful job as it was effecting our relationship at home. At the time he supported me, but now he tells me that he was furious at me for leaving. We were arguing all the time (just petty things) & his kids even noticed we weren’t happy. He also has two sons aged 12 & 20 from a previous relationship & he tells me that they do not like me living with them as they are used to having… Read more »
Excuse me , sir or m’am. I’ve uh came across your website for assistance with my relationship problem. So if you could help, I’d be mighty grateful. I would like you to understand that I am only 17 years of age, but I would like to take a particular relationship seriously. I know I’m just a child, I just thought coming here would bring me the guideance, I’ve been longing for. I’ve really put myself in a bad situation. As my ex started calling me often, I lost my temper one day, and used foul language. I let everything go… Read more »
Please I seriously need help help help… I’ve a girl I was in relationship with for three years, I’ve always love this girl. At some point in our relationship I asked her if she will marry me when we’re ready and she said definitely. I’ve planned my life around this girl. But earlier this years things started falling apart, to cut the story shot she didn’t even tell me she wants a break up. Rather she just said she needs a break & afterward she said we’re no longer going out and started telling me how better men are after… Read more »
me and my ex have been goin out for nearly 9 months and we broke up 3 weeks ago. he says that its because he got caught to his mother. but as i got to know he is goin out with another girl. but i really truely loved him.
dear kevin, I broke up my ex a week ago and i want hin back, were almost 5yrs i broke him once when we were 2yrs ago and he cried and not to leave him and promised not to lie again and take care of me. and after that he gave his f/book, ym account, etc. so i open it regularly and i read all those messages from girls flirting asking for his number and gays asking for sex. so i told him ab8 the gays and he told me to ignore it b/c thats the nature of some gays.,… Read more »
My gf dumped me,and in the very first beginning she was the one who was crazy and wanted the relationship desperately, now she got me committed and backed out with such excuses as “i loved you and God knows but it gradually faded away because u failed to tell me that which i wanted to hear [i love u] , i will not lie i crave for your body inside me but i have to mend my ways and go back to God for the main time good bye my love i will and always love you. So after this… Read more »
So it’s been a week since my ex and i broke up. We broke up because she told me she didn’t love me anymore, was having a lot of problems with her family, thought she was depressed, and have started developing feelings for someone else for the past 3 months. We were in a lesbian relationship and our relationship was also long distance. We texted each other every day and even cammed everyday until her family found out about us, and it made communicating really hard. Suddenly she told me she didn’t love me anymore and felt that I could… Read more »
My bf and I had been together for 2 years with 1 yr long disctance .He started to act cool to me since last year’s March and we quarelled . We kinda broken up and poatched back a few times cause i have been bugging him . but this year’s january ,we broekn up again and its kinda official and he says whatever i do and i say thsi time , he wont change his mind and so , i have been waited since january until now . we still meet up an hour or 2 averagely in a week… Read more »
Am 15 years old i love my ex Boyfriend so badly And i really need him back. At the begining of Our breakup, after the break up with couple of days I started nagging and showing him how much i care and I need him back it didn’t work out we’ve been Away for 7 monthes. But we always talk but am mostly The one who’s calling and texting. He went in other relation but they were together for 1 month then they break up, and he think am so dramatic and i have Α small mind and he said… Read more »
i broke up with my girlfriend of two years and it has been really difficult i have been a bit stupid over the first week and have been emailing and texting like some needy t**t after i read this and realized i messed up step one is there any way to rectify this predicament?
Yes there is. Just give it some time. The more you messed up, the more time you should give before contacting them again.
My boyfriend of 5 months broke up with me because of my family problems. My dad has a record and that freaked his mom out. Because of this our families refused to talk to eachother, and because of this, his mother felt insecure about me and my backround and told my man that he needed to break up with me. I tried explaining how that was in the eighties! It took place forever ago and hes really harmless, but they wouldnt hear it. This was 3 months into our relationship when this began.. we promised eachother wed stick through it… Read more »
Hey Chloe, I am the last one to say this usually, but you need to think whether or not he is worth fighting for. I know right now you feel like that he is the only one you need and you can’t live without him. But that feeling will fade away with time. And when it does, would you still want to be with someone who left you just because his mother was insecure? He seems to have family issues and it will be almost impossible to change that. I know that you don’t want to hear this right now,… Read more »
Ive actually asked many friends and family for advice too, and sadly they all said the same thing.. that he wasnt worth my time.
Will future relationships always leave me just because of my family history, Kevin? I hope not! :[ I thought they would just judge me and my personality, not my family as well…
Yes Chloe, that’s right. He needs to love you for you and your personality and not your family. And no not everyone is like him. Most of the boys are nice and they will only care about you and not what your family is like. This boy was an exception and like I said, he had some family issues. I really think you should follow the plan for now and everything will get better with time. Stay strong. 🙂
Hey my “ex” girlfriend and I had broken up 1 week before our grade 12 prom( 2 months ago). We went to prom being mature and civilized saying it might bring us together. Ever since prom she has wanted to be like my best friend. She texts me every morning and throughout the day but it’s hard for me. I tell her I don’t want to be that close with her because its hard for me to cope and get over my ex but she gets very emotional. Telling me we have to close , she will always miss and… Read more »
Hey Kevin me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and a half now we live together we were good friends for about 6 yrs before we made it official and and how we actually became a couple was because of something I had did for him. He felt like what I did was very special and he owed me our relationship that I had wanted for so long. So he basically gave me what I wanted. We always had a very special bond before this it was just that he really wasn’t ready! Anyway we moved in… Read more »
Kevin, I know you have probably heard it all but here is a rare one for you. I’m a divorced father and have been in a serious relationship with a woman 23 yrs younger than me for 2 years. She is a very intelligent and mature college student and although we haven’t been able to do what most couples get to do as far as going out together etc. we have had a very very serious relationship for 2 years. The last 6 months have been harder and after reading some of Matt’s stuff i know why ( yes i… Read more »
Hey Kevin, Me and my ex girlfriend broke up 4 weeks today. We were together for a year and a half and lived together for that time as well. We moved fast but we were madly in love and talked about marriage and kids and what not. I know lots of people do this but we were serious enough to almost get engaged in a year. We fought a lot towards the end of the relationship. We met and had dinner a few days ago and we were awkward at first but then we were flirting like crazy. At the… Read more »
I would also like to add is the reason she said we broke up is because she was unsure and unhappy I guess that is common. I am back to the person I was when she met me. I know it and feel it. She is worth everything to me and I would stick it out and enjoy my time for myself as well. I went on a date and it sucked because she was nothing compared to my girlfriend.
Can you please help me….i like beg of you…..my ex bf birthday is coming up….we broke up like a year ago and have only talked to each other twice after the break. last time we talked was 2 months ago (he called)…his birthday is coming up…should i call him or not…please please please please please please please please please please help me..thanks
Hey Nisha,
It’s okay to wish him on his birthday. However, if you are in the no contact period, it will be better to just wish him on his facebook wall.
i am not friends with him on fb. do u think i should call or ecard? please help.
Is it natural for your ex to turn all his friends against you after such a break up? Ive been getting brutal text messages lately..
I recently took my boyfriend of two and a half years back. A couple weeks after he came home I found out he was seeing another girl behind my back. I ended it made him leave. He moved in with her and now I’m miserable. He has been saying things like he loves me and thinks i’m “the one” but doesn’t know how it can work. Seems like he’s contradicting himself. Even though he did what he did I love him dearly and want him in my life. I offered to take him back. He turned me down. I’m not… Read more »
What if you have a child with them?
Hey Kevin, So me and my ex we’re going out for 2 years. She first had a crush on me and then eventually i started liking her and we started going out. Everything was great for 1 and a half years then suddenly she started talking to some guy who she calls her best friend and in the state of jealously, I started telling her to stop. Meanwhile when we would fight sometimes, I would tell her that I don’t love her and that she doesn’t care for me. But in the end I would say sorry and quit the… Read more »
Hi Kevin, I went out with my ex for like 4 months long time back.. she was my family friend.. after the break up i felt very very low and like u said begged and pleaded which was a total wrong thing i did.. we were like good friends after that though i loved her.. she was in a relationship with another guy and for the past 6 months I’ve been ignoring her where as she keeps coming behind me saying she misses talking to me and all.. I feel i wana fall for her again.. I just can’t get… Read more »
Help! I need help!!! My ex & I broke up 5 mo ago he sent me a text basically he was sending to another girl but accidentally sent to me. I called him he said he had been cheating for few weeks. First of all I’m 36 he is 42 we met 8 yrs ago he was going through a divorce. Our relationship was awsome we had so many memories and good times. Long story short last year he said he needed space I was so confused found out he was seeing this girl and I admit did all the… Read more »
My girlfriend of four year just broker up with me, we were engaged. I have already made a lot of these mistakes. I told her that I love her, I told her that I can do it, that i can be the man she wants me to be, I have sent her flowers. We talked face to face today for the first time in front of her mom with no fighting or disrespect I reminded her mom also that the reason I ask for her daughter’s hand in marriage was because I Truly love her and want to provided for… Read more »
Hey Kevin, So me and my ex broke up bc I tagged my ex in a pic on fb,but u should no this first he talks about how bad his ex treated him and thinks Im going to be just like her bc I was his first relationship he had since they broke up about a year ago ;and he is out with his friends drinking when he broke up with me,so they are a part of y we broke up bc they don’t like him in a relationship bc they don’t have one..We txt and he says “I love… Read more »
Hey kevin,
So my ex and I have been broken up for about 4 months. And after 2 months we started hooking up and stuff. But he likes this girl and he’s still hooking up with me. What do I do?
Don’t be his backup. Make sure if he is with you, he is committed.
i posted on here b4 but i dont see but anyways so my ex gf is now saying she never loved me and has never felt true love until meeting this guy and she said she never wants to get back together i think shes lying about the love part i mean we planned a wedding and everything together i really want her back i dont want to lose her to this guy what should i do?? i honestly love her with all my heart
might i add we were together 4 almost a year and shes known him 2 months not talking to him until recently and she even said she knows him better than me which is a load of crap
hello, my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me 2 weeks ago, and of course I did all the wrong things I shouldn’t have done, like BEGGING, everything was going smoothly but I started being needy and wanting to spend more time with me, His dad was in the hospital and told me that his dad was his main priority yet plays plays football and softball twice a week, his main priority right and sports and his friends etc, I told him all I wanted was 1 day only 1 day, was that too much to ask for??? regardless… Read more »
Hi Kevin, thanks for this post. It helps knowing there’s people going through the same thing and that they were actually able to get their ex back… I’ll tell you my story and if there is anything at all that you can help me with, I would appreciate it with all my heart. I first met him about a year and a half ago, we immediately liked each other and it wasn’t long before we started dating. I’ve never felt like this about anyone before… I fell in love with him almost instantly! He is a great man, a great… Read more »
Hey Alex,
As a general rule, you should act after 3-4 weeks of no contact. This time, when you contact him don’t ask him to get back together. Take one small step at a time. You need to rebuild the attraction as suggested in Step 3.
I’m about reach that timeframe, I already thought about how I’m going to send the letter and what I’ll write… I pretty much have a plan already to contact him and ask him out, the only thing I’m concerned is how to act around him once I get him to go out with me. Any suggestions? I’m sorry I just want to make sure I do everything correctly…
I just stumbled upon this site at my hour of need and I first have to thank all of you for sharing your stories. They were not in vain and I feel stronger already. I broke it off with my partner of 2 years 10 days ago. I did not want to do it but I felt like it was the right thing. It got ugly towards the end and in my desperate moments, I threatened A LOT and even followed through on some of my threats which resulted in me breaking his trust. I broke it off with him… Read more »
Hey..Me and my girlfriend broke up (9 months ago and i miss her and want her back. we both work at that same place and she started dating a guy that we work with. Me and her was together for 3 years and she has a 4 year old baby girl also. So one day her and that guy doesn’t show up to work. I hear that she has moved in with him.So where do i go from here?
Hi Kevin, Me and my ex just broke up again. I did all those mistakes contiuoulsy in our previous break ups. Idk what to do. Is it too late to follow this plan? And how long? Cause I have really deep feeling for this guy. I’m not ready to lose him. And the only reason I make those same mistakes with the begging and texting is because of how much I love him. I don’t know what to do. We been through alot. And he tells me he doesn’t care for none of the stuff I say. And he doesn’t… Read more »
Hi kevin, good points. So my two and half year relationship ended last week from my fiancee and within that week she told me that she was unhappy and could never forgive me :(… I love her too bits and wish she would give me one more chance to prove that I love her so much, she won’t talk to me so I stopped texting her but I’m scared that If i don’t text her she will forget me and move on while I’m stuck in depression waiting for her to come back to me, it was my fault for… Read more »
Okay .. so what happened with me wouldn’t exactly be called a Breakup .. It’s Like I am in a relationship still and what i hate the most about it is we don’t talk much. I never call him or message him because i feel I would only disturb him.. The few times that i called him, He didn’t answer it and gave me reasons for not answering later.. I don’t call him much and all that we talk is Online.. Mostly actually.. It’s been 3 and a half months and I haven’t been getting feelings for any guy after… Read more »
Hi. I hope you read my story and reply. Thank you. My ex and I were together for almost 3yrs, but we’ve known eachother since high school. We were just friends then. I did have a crush on him and I found out when we got together that he also had one on me. I moved away then 1yr later we found eachother again and became friends. Then again we both moved away and 7yrs later we ran into eachother again. I was getting divorced at the time. I have three kids. Im 28 and hes 29. Well we got… Read more »
One more thing I wanted to add was that when I talked to him he sounded angry towards me. I honestly think that he thinks I wasn’t that into him. But it just wasn’t that. I knew he was busy and he asked me to be patient and wait for him to get his things in order. So how can I ever clear this misunderstanding between us? In my letter? I only want that to be the last form of contact I have with him. I love him but I want to give him space. I also feel that if… Read more »
Question-My ex girl friend ended the relationship about 8 weeks ago, the reasons for the break up were she taught I was cheating on her,she didn’t love me anymore, she said she lost herself. We have been together for 11 yrs & have 2 kids. She has cut all communications with me ,even lettn me see my children. Yes I made the mistakes or crying,apologizing, telln her I would change,sending flowers & much more. I am & will always love this women, I want my family back. But she is so angry & like another person. Could she be mad,hiding… Read more »
Hi Kevin, I have a major problem with my ex. We split up 4 months ago she told me she wasn’t happy with herself and didn’t love herself and she couldn’t love anyone until she changed that. We were together for 3 years. I did the no contact and it worked. She was texting me and calling me not to get back together she said but missed me so much and I caved we spent days together like we were a couple. We were intimate again. 2 weeks later she went to Italy for a month to work and while… Read more »
I think that if he broke up with you just leave it alone give him time to miss being with you to regret whats hes done if he loves you he will come back if not it was just not meant to be first yo got to love your self before loving anyone else trust me it works and shows you if he really loves you enough
Hi Kevin, I’ve recently broken up with my girl friend of more than 3 years. It was extremely complicated our break up but in the end simply was my fault. She has now slept with another person, I know its just physical and I can deal with that. I was at hers just 20 minutes ago to stay the night she was sleeping cuddled on me as she still isn’t over me but doesn’t think getting back together is a good idea. She kissed me for a little bit too. I packed my things while she was asleep and she… Read more »
Nathan,
It’s best to ignore her texts for the time being. If she gets upset about it, just send her a text saying you are busy. If she still gets angry, just let her know that you think it’s best for you two to have your own space for the time being. Tell her, that you will contact her when you feel is the right time. As for facebook, you can just stay offline and/or use the same tactics.
Thanks, I got that e-book I answered her call this morning as the book said it was okay to as long as she makes the call, she was crying and said she wasn’t okay. I just said I agree with her decision that it’s for the best and after a brief talk made the excuse that I had to go shower.
Thanks I will keep that advice in mind
Hi Kevin, My ex and I broke up at the end of April. I moved out because we were living together. But he would still come over..he did that for about 2 months. They we had a big blow out and he wasnt sure what he wanted. we hung out a few more times and then he slowly just drifted away from me. Come to find out he got back on an online dating site and has been messaging different people. This break up has been very hard on me because I thought we were going to eventually get married.… Read more »
Me and my ex were together for almost 3 years and he broke up with me 5 months ago. ever since then ive been depressed and i just hate living. i miss him so much. we’ve been through so much we’ve even lost a baby. 🙁 ive lost my father, my baby, and my bf. i truly have no one. he makes me happy but he said things needed to change . he needs to see change then he’ll come back. as of now he wants to be friends. but its like how can i be friends with someone i… Read more »
Hey,
If you just follow the plan and stop contact with him for a while, things will definitely change for you. And don’t be his backup, when you think is the right time, you need to let him know that you refuse to be his backup and if he doesn’t commit you will move on. But that will come later. For now, stop contact and concentrate on yourself.
My bf and I have been together for 3 and 1/2 years. Till last year he was ready to marry with me. He only told me that i want you and my parents both as his parents are against of me. They don’t like me at all. He also told me that he will fight for me with his parents. I know he loves me but from last 6 months everything has changed he started hating me, he doesn’t talk to me, if he does he talks very rudely using abusive language for me and my family. And now he… Read more »
hey, im no expert but might his parents have said something to him, like made something up about you so he would hate you coz i do know people who have done that before, its sad but true.
hi my name is alexis and my boyfriend of 9 months just told me he wants to go on a break because he doesnt want to have the feeling of being tied down and he said he wants to see how our break will take us..should i just end it or go on a break?
Hi Kevin, 5 months ago my fiance, whom I had been with for 5 years, ended things with me 7 weeks before our wedding. He didn’t tell me much, other than the fact that he just couldnt get married, not just to me, but to anyone. He was about to move a few hundred miles away for a new job and we were supposed to be moving there together, but after we split, he moved and I stayed and we havent really spoken since. Now, I was surprised by how quickly I picked myself up and moved on from this,… Read more »
Hi Kevin I split with my ex 8 weeks ago due to me having post natal depression and pushed him away. He says it’s pushe him to far away an he won’t come back, we have a 7 month old son so contact is vital but for 7 weeks I have begged an pleaded (I know is wrong now) so I starte limited contact 4 days ago I can’t see it’s working. I speak to him about the baby and that is it. I expected him to text or call but nothing. He is moving in to his house at… Read more »
Hey, this isnt so much a breakup but i liked this girl for a while, about 5-6 month and back in april i added her on fb as we were both at a car show that night and she is going to my college, she is 19 and im 18 but she is in the next year below me as she wanted to do motor vehicle body work, anyway, my best mate new her and they use to talk to each other, after the car show that night i added her on fb saying “hey im ****’s mate ” and… Read more »
Hi Kevin, I hear these suggestions and i have no doubt that they work but let me tell you my story. I have been with my ex for 3 years now. With in the first six months of our relationship he asked me to marry him and I of course said yes. Although my heart wanted it to be right, mentally I was somewhere else. Ihad just gotten out of a long emotional roller coaster type of relationship and should have honestly given myself more time before jumping into another one. Never the less the fist years of our relationship… Read more »
Hi Kevin, To try to keep it short my boyfriend of 2 years and bestfriend of 5,broke up with me last thursday. This is the 4th time. His reason being this time was we were fighting and he couldn’t handle it anymore. Every other time we broke up I always knew there was hope in getting back together. The night we broke up, I hungout with one of our guy friends and JUST TALKED. He got upset and told me that I messed up bad and to never contact him again. I’ve been trying my absolute hardest to take your… Read more »
Hey i am pretty young but i dated my boy friend for about a year and then he started dating my cousin and i am so obsessed with him and he just meant so much to me and he plays it like its hide and seek and he wont find me or ever have any love fir me again well i hope these steps work. bye
Hello Kevin
My ex does not want anything to do with me yet she keeps me on facebook as her friend and constantly updates it about how great her life is and how great her weekends are. I feel like this is targeted at me, am I going insane?
I also feel like she is seeing someone now but shes keeping it a secret or something, making hints on facebook but not really sure?
please help
My boyfriend and i broke up a little over a month ago, well really he broke up with me. We had been dating for 8 months, and the relationship was very slow moving, but it helped us develop a very strong connection. 6 months in to our relationship a shared some ultra personal stuff with him that I thought he would keep to himself but tried to help my ”problem”. Then people are calling me saying aww im sorry Ashley about everything. I talked to him about it and then we broke up. But I texted him back in like… Read more »
Here’s the situation: I have been on and off with my ex for the past 4 years. We never had a chance at a real relationship because we would always end it every 3 or 4 months. The moment things became too content he would back out and break up with me. We never argued over things and I have to say the relationship always went smoothly. We started seeing each other not on good terms though because he had a gf in the beginning. She was his first love. After lots of ons and offs I knew I was… Read more »
Hi My name is “Larry” just want to share my experience with the world on how i got my love back and saved my marriage… I was married for 7years with 2kids and we lived happily until things started getting ugly and we had fights and arguments almost every time… it got worse at a point that she filed for divorce… I tried my best to make her change her mind & stay with me cause i loved her with all my heart and didn’t want to loose her but everything just didn’t work out… she moved out of the… Read more »
well okey, my ex gf been giving me mix signals. there was suppose to be a party,the party was my ex gf lil sister birthday party. but i came over late like at… 10:32pm i was unsure of the day of the party but the party wasn’t that day the mom said. the party,was the next day. so me an my sister walk over to the house an,the mother told us to come in, we walked in, we asked was the party today? she said no it’s tomorrow, i went on the crouch an sat down, my ex gf an… Read more »
Hi Kevin, I love my boyfriend very much. 1 yr before he told me he cant marry me because his family wont agree for our marriage. Still i was in a hope that someday he would speak to his parents. HE is stubborn and alwayz told him to be honest with our relation. we our in relation but he dosent want to marry me. from some days i was feeling fishy. i caught him with a her US friend who is girl. he says she is friend but he lied 2me n the way he speaks to her is “yes… Read more »
Can you please help me getting him back with me again in my life please Suzanne was with this guy name Shelby from 7/8/2010-12/25/2010 I gave him 14 k gold pens for pass his grade so he can go to college and made a beautiful memory cross for his dad and everyone even his mom said you better keep this one she’s a gem and a diamond where do you find a girl who works 18 hours go to her boyfriend house after work and give him a massages and he was in classes and sleep for 3 hour and… Read more »
me and my girlfriend have been dating for two months..and we are engaged and its going bee one month and for abt a week she have been ignoring me and dosent care much about my feelings,i even asked her whats happening to her,and last night she told me that she is falling for another guy in our class. and i am so pissed,its really hard for me to see that she told me she needs time and to forgive her for what she has been through, and she is trying her best to love me back just like i do…i… Read more »
Hi, I just subscribed to the e-mails. I have met this boy in another country, he went back, I have to stay. I think we were wonderful together, he is the person I want to be with until the rest of my life. But we are young, (he is even younger than me) and our future is still unpredictable in many ways. But I do not want this to discourage me. I am positive he is worth it. Now a month has past since we have seen eachother, we made some plans for the summer, but he didn’t seem too… Read more »
Good luck, my girlfriend is also older then me and lives abroad but she has more problems, I hope he wakes up and realize. From my experience it is best to be together face to face and talk about a plan, I did this with my girlfriend and it settled her for a little I have offered to work in her country. You both have to make sacrifices to success if you will be together for a long time.
All the best
My boyfriend broke up with me. The reasons are, im too much over protective and whenever there’s a problem, I tell to my friends, because I just can’t stand the TERRIBLE pain on my own. Now, he does’nt want to talk to me. What shall I do?
Hey Kevin, hope you could help me out here. My ex broke up with me a month and a half ago. She immediately started seeing this other guy right after our relationship ended. I really love her and want her back but I don’t know what to do to win her back. Some of my friends tell me her relationship with that guy is not a rebound but I feel it’s too quick and abrupt, I still have loads of feelings for her and I want to win her back. We have been in casual contact recently, no meeting up,… Read more »
My girlfriend and I have been off and on for over two years. We met at school (college) and she is two years younger than me, so she is going in to her senior year at school and I’m currently working. We both lived in the same city and have many of the same friends. We were pretty lovey dovey this summer and had all these things together. One weekend she comes back from a trip and says she still loves me and cares for me so much and can see us being together in the long run and getting… Read more »
My boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago. I’m still finding it hard to eat. We first got together when we were 15 and we were together for 5 years. We did break up for a year so it would’ve been 6 years, but he begged and begged for 2 weeks for me to get back with him and I took him. We are 20 now and I was not expecting it until I had the gut feeling a couple if days before it happend. We had just got back off holiday and he we saw eachotger about 3… Read more »
Thanks for the advice! I have followed your suggestions and everything is going as you suggested it would. It has been at least a month since my last communication and I am now ready to make contact, my problem is that we go to college in different states so I can not suggest going to get coffee, etc. How do I proceed at this point? Thanks
Hi people I need your advice, I came to a country in Asia 4 years ago 2 months later I met this girl, started dating, we have a son who is 2 years and 4 months old, the relationship hasn’t, been good, we haven’t had sex for 2 years, so I decided to sleep with another girl, she found out about it, and revenged me by sleeping with another guy, now I know how hurt she feels, but I still love her and want her back, she tells me she is in love with this guy, and I find it… Read more »
I met this guy on FB and we’ve been dating for like 6 months already. I took him off my FB when he stopped calling me for a week! We spoke about the issue and I apologized for the misunderstanding and asked him to be friends again on FB. He said he does not want to do it because he says I am too impulsive! I saw a comment he made on FB where he said someone kept him up all night and he enjoyed it and this lady replied by saying to “let’s repeat it!” I asked him who… Read more »
So my girlfriend was all loving and happy just last Thursday, then on Friday she started being a little more offish and threw out the week. It just got worse, I tried to ask her if everything was okay and she ignored the question. When she came back home from college, which is only an hour away she said we needed to talk and we meet up for her to tell me that she was breaking up with me. At first we were joking and carrying in like our relationship was just fine and then I asked her what she… Read more »
My ex and I broke up three and a half months ago and I followed the no contact rule for three weeks after the breakup. We dated for two years. After contacting him again, we hung out a lot for a couple weeks and we seemed to be perfect again. Then, a week ago he stopped talking to me, and when I asked why, he said he just wants to move on. Why would he want to stop talking all of a sudden when we were doing so well? And will I ever get a chance or is it over… Read more »
So, I’ve literally done everything that you’re supposed to not do. I’ve Begged, I’ve been a doormat, I gave her the Power, I did it all, I freaked out when she started talking to a guy and sending her body to him. I was a wreck. But I’m going to try this. A few weeks no contact all focused on me. I’m going to send her a letter first and tell her to call me if she wants to talk. I’ll throw some mystery in the letter too. But I do really love her and I really want her to… Read more »
Hi Kevin, I really need your help my boyfriend of a year & 8 months broke up with me 6 weeks ago claiming he no longer loved me & that staying with me so long was a mistake. I made loads of mistakes so did he, we both were going through personal issues & I was never there for him. I’ve already begged & pleaded with him on two occasions so I was just wondering if the no contact rule will work as we have been talking everyday. He doesn’t want us to stop talking & he also flirts at… Read more »
My ex and I have been “officially” together for less than 3 months. I know I may be overreacting.. but I really enjoyed my time with him and I want to get back later on. The problem is, I think that we didn’t have a long enough friendship from when we first met. I met him at the beginning of march, and we were both taken. But we had something in common- we were both having trouble with our bf/gf. We started talking on the phone, a 4-way conversation with two other friends who are dating now. Then I started… Read more »
Well…. I have gone through some of the most difficult times ever in my life as I’m going through now. I was in a relationship with him for about a year and then some other guy liked me and told about it to my bf. He was really frustrated. He supported me in front of him but screwed me up when I met him. I thought he never trusted me ’cause he scolded me very badly. I was hurt. and this is how we broke up(lost contact) and never contacted instead. It has been nearly six months. And I don’t… Read more »
Kevin, I know this sounds kinda 7th grade. In June I was sitting around feeling really sorry for myself because I was still single at my age (41). Out of nowhere I get an e-mail on Christian Mingle (I’m a born-again Christian, BTW) saying, ” I really enjoyed reading your profile and was quite impressed. You seem like someone I’d really enjoy getting to know.” I was totally elated, of course. By looking at her profile, I could see that this woman was exactly what I’d been looking for. She was beautiful, intelligent, well-educated, strong in her faith, and very… Read more »
Your story sounds so similar to mine. I have been married for 17 years, unhappily, but never imagined I would stray, mainly for the sake of my children. My husband and I haven’t slept together in over 10 years, we basically just had a partnership for the kids. I decided to go Facebook because I was lonely and in March an ex-boyfriend I had from when I was 15 years old started talking to me. (I’m 40 by the way) I ended up falling in love with him, he really said some powerful things and really got to me. He… Read more »
AJ, sorry to hear you are having a hard time with your situation. It does get better though, one day at a time. Right now, I would say you should just focus on yourself. You have a lot going for you, you are successful and as I understand from reading your post you would like to share your life with someone. Work serves as a great escape for you, but add some spice to that “escape” plan by doing fun things too. It is hard but start by committing to do something fun once a week, and you will soon… Read more »
Kevin,
My boyfriend and I went out for a year and 3 months. After the break-up I broke ALL 6 rules, after one heated talk (we were both upset with each other after we hung up) and we have not talked since then (about 3 weeks). I un-added him on Facebook, Skype, etc. Now I am trying to go through the steps of getting him back but there really isn’t any way for him to see that I am happy without him, and what not. How am I supposed to make him see that I am not a wreck anymore?
OK so me and my ex have been broken up for 6 months and we were kind of trying to get back together but I honestly don’t know what has happened. Right now we’re just friends and everyone tells me not to be b/c everyone thinks he’s moved on but he doesn’t wanna let me go so that’s why he talks to me and calls me and texts me. Last night I went out to a place where he invited me, we said hi like civilized people and then he proceeded to basically ignore me the rest of the night… Read more »
Hi me and my girlfriend have been together for 3 years and 4 months. I was her first boyfriend,. She is 22 and I’m 28. The first 3 year were great, we loved each other got along then about a year ago, she got a job for the navy. She started to change. About 4 months ago she started to not say I love you and just plain not really caring about me and was lying about going out with other guys. Then she asked for a break and I begged her to stay. Well she stayed for about another… Read more »
Why we should not have sex with our ex girlfriend. What if they still live at your house with you?
I still live with my ex, and will till the lease is up next June, so I’m hoping ‘time heals all wounds’ or whatever, and we can forgive, move on, and get back together. I’m newly single again, and said ex doesn’t seem to give a crap. Maybe he’s just trying to front… IDK, but I am too… for the most part, I’m okay b/c other people are fulfilling the love language of quality time. When K took my V card, I realized I was a nympho, or so I thought, and well, it’s been 2.5 years, and I can’t… Read more »
Hi Kevin, he says he doesn’t see a future without me. He can’t imagine me with another guy, but he has to let me live my life. I love him so much. The break up has been going on for about 2 months now. I have tried to work things out. We were talking from time to time still, I thought things were going to be fine after I give him some space. We started talking last week. Everything was good, he told me he misses me, I ignored it at first. Then another day he told me that again… Read more »
OK, I just had a fight with my GF (maybe now she is my ex). We were friends for 10 years and I was the one who always loved her but she was too busy having relationships with other guys and then 1 year back I finally told her that I love her and I love her like crazy. Things were good but then she started complaining and left me for her ex and they were planning to get married but then he left her and then she came back to me (I was an easy catch for her lol).… Read more »
In august my girlfriend broke up with me. We had been going out for about 4-5 months, and we were doing really good. During the summer, we spent a lot of time together. She wrote me these notes, also. In these notes, she would write about how much she cared for me and how I treated here nice and all that good stuff. In these notes, she would also write about how we would interact during our school time. Well, skip to about 5 days before our 1st trimester began, she surged acting weird. She didn’t have any jitters, I… Read more »
Kevin, after 18 years of marriage, we are both in early 50’s. My husband has left me about 4 months ago to be with a 24 year old woman abroad, he makes very good money, we worked very hard to get there financially, there are other women whom he meets at work, these women want him for selfish reasons, he may be dating other women also? He wants to marry 24 year old woman from abroad, Philippine woman, he planned/arranged this before he left me, he texted etc to her while living with me, then went to see her oversees… Read more »
Well, I certainly didn’t expect to be on here today. My (ex) girlfriend and I have been together for two and half years. We were so in love. We planned to get married in a few year. I’m 23, she will be 20 next month… Well, we got in a huge fight yesterday.. and I told her I didn’t want to see her anymore. But I didn’t mean it… And today she told me that she is completely over me. She doesn’t want to be with me, and she’s not happy. I made every single wrong mistake listed today. But… Read more »
Thanks for the help Kevin. I was going through some dark times. During a break up everyone wants to give you advice; however, your advice was the best. I start looking forward to your emails to help me get through the day. I understand the game now. I didn’t think true love was like this. If I had known now to get give her space maybe everything will get better. I feel like I’m getting better day by day. I miss her a lot.
Hi so me and my ex split up after 6 years. We have a baby that’s not even a year old. We split up three months ago after he said he didn’t love me anymore. He was injured in Afghanistan losing limbs and he said that after I helped him for 6 months there just wasn’t any love there anymore. He is already dating someone else (who I feel I can’t compete with) a couple weeks after he left me, which I feel after everything I did for him and ’cause we have a baby is a little insensitive but… Read more »
i went out with this lass. She was the best thing that ever happened to me. She thought I cheated but I just said that I never cheated. I was her first love but now she has had sex with 4 people. But I still love her and it has been about 1 year and she no longer loves me. I now go out with her best mate but I wanna be with the love of my life, not her best mate. So please can someone help me. I’m hiding heartbreak and don’t know how much longer I can hide… Read more »
You can’t be with her if you’re with someone else- ESPECIALLY the person you are with now…
hi I’m 18 and my girlfriend of over a year broke up with me for being too “clingy” and telling me that she doesn’t love me anymore. I have a very very close relationship with her whole family and this whole situation is very hard and painful for me. I did the wrong thing and completely bombarded with texts and sounded desperate to get back together. She started ignoring me and I finally gave up 2 weeks ago on trying to contact or work things out. It has been 2 weeks since I’ve last had contact with her and 2… Read more »
OK…so I was living with my man for most of the 5 1/2 years we were together. We were engaged for 9 months-two weeks before our wedding, just this past Sunday, he claimed he no longer loved me and that it was over. HOWEVER, he still intends to pay half the rent on our apartment for 7 months til the lease is done, and is paying for me to still be on his phone plan! Everything I’ve seen says “don’t text him, you’ll seem needy and you’ll reveal too much how you feel”….but he’s the one texting me! Yesterday, only… Read more »
So my boyfriend and I broke up about three weeks ago. We’ve been going out for a year and a half and had broken up once before for about a month. At this point I am still devastated, the first time I did the begging and pleading. This time I did at the point of the breakup but that was it. He has not even tried to contact me since, is there still hope for me or should I take everyone else advise and move on because at this point I don’t know what’s going on with him, has he… Read more »
Hello, I’ve never been so perplexed in my life before and am hoping I can find some answers outside of friends and family. My girlfriend and I split about five months ago, we also share a son together. I’ve come to find out I made many mistakes in the relationship which in turn resulted in our relationships demise. I know she wasn’t perfect, but, do believe I created most of the mess myself, unavailable both physically and emotionally and was verbally abusive at times. I’ve tried to contact her regarding my aspiration to reconcile, however, she is seeing someone new,… Read more »
Mike, Your situation is completely different from anyone else on this site. You two have a child together. When children are involved you simply cannot afford to play games. You need to go for it and make things right. From what you have told us I can see that your ex is just waiting for you to proceed to some crucial actions. She texts you, she says she loves you, she invites you for breakfast – these are all her actions. But what do you do? Don’t just spend the precious time trying to talk to her, you can lose… Read more »
I was with my boyfriend for a year and a half. and I still love him till this day. I just wish everything can go back to normal ’cause I really don’t know why we broke up in the first place! It was random! But I miss him A LOT! Please help me!
So my girlfriend and I have been dating for over a month but then broke up with me because she said she liked me as a friend….I asked her later what she meant by that and she just said she wasn’t as happy as she was in the start of the relationship and she also was uncomfortable whenever I held her but if we were alone she seemed perfectly fine. It’s just in public she behaved distant and uncomfortable. All my friends say that I should just move on but I can’t. I like her too much and I want… Read more »
Hi First of all thanks for the great article But I’m far away from these stages.. So after a two year long relationship my guy dumped me over NO GOOD REASON..it was in august 2007…in the early break days he used to call me up and used to cry and ask for forgiveness and I on the other hand used to beg him to come back. In short I’ve done everything you asked not to. In these four years he dated many chicks and so did I. But for me it was just to show him that I’m not a… Read more »
Similar story happened to me after a 4 year relationship. It’s been a coupe of weeks now and hurting a lot. I suggest you focus on yourself more and make as little contact with him as possible. consider the things that caused issues in your relationship and if it’s reasonable to change, and continue your life as confidently as possible. You know your ex best and what is attractive and unattractive to him. Best of luck!
Hi I need your help. My ex and me were at the mall with our friends and I got really mad at him. The reason why is because he started running off with his friend and ditched me and my friends running off like he had no idea what he did. So he gave me rude text saying the only reason why I went out with you is ’cause your friend kept telling me to… and not to talk to him anymore and he’s pissed etc. But when we started, he promised me one thing that if we break up… Read more »
I met this guy in Groote Schuur hospital and he took my heart, I loved him in fact I still love him. He is 21 years older than me. We broke up 2 weeks back. I can’t get over him. I love him with all my heart. I’m trying my best to get rid of this feeling but it’s hard. Reason for our breakup was he saw my Facebook profile and pic, he also think that I don’t respect him. I don’t know what to do now cause I really love my man and I want him back *sad*.
All I know I miss him…
We never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory….
My ex-girlfriend broke up with me, explaining that she needed to find what makes her happy before she can give all of her heart to me. I have friends that are saying it’s over to move on and others that say wait it out and she will come back. At this point I don’t know what to do, I don’t want it to be over.
Justice,
here’s what – a person will never leave someone who he/she really loves.
Think about it. If you love someone you just don’t go, you don’t walk away with some stupid excuse. Make your own conclusions.
Hi, Please help me. My BF of 3 years broke up with me 6 weeks ago. He has gone through 2 family deaths last year which I don’t feel he has dealt with. He said that he was trying not to be selfish that he would be happy to continue but that it would be more and more on his terms and he didn’t want to do that to me. He can be pretty selfish. He said he loves me so much but not as much as he feels I need him to love me and that he feels I… Read more »
SR, All the bullshit he tells you about “loving you but not as much as he feels you need him to love you” is just an excuse. Not to tell you that he doesn’t actually love you anymore. But that is unfortunately what it means. I mean his actions speak for themselves don’t they? Think about it yourself, would you do this to someone you love? He’s been with you for 3 years, so sure he knows you well and knows how much you are hurting now. And what does he do? Just goes on vacation enjoying his life (or… Read more »
So my husband left me three months ago and I really love him and want him to come home and be a family… I know that I have not been perfect and have been spending a lot of time working on me. We are to the point where we are talking about getting back together, where do I go from here so I don’t seem over anxious for the reconciliation and not to push him further away.
Hey, my bf broke up with me an year back saying he still loved his ex and then he came back to me after 6 months. But yes during that breakup I cried a lot and almost pleaded in front of him and now he has broken up with me again saying the same thing. Telling me that he still feels for his ex. What should I do? I mean I really loved him.
I love and miss my ex boyfriend. It has been a year and I still would like to know if you think there might be a chance that we can get back together. We did have a date about a month ago but then he told me that he is committed to someone else and we have not spoken since. Please help me, I am so hopeless.
hi I just want to share my story, I am in pain right now, my bf for 3 years broke up with me. I really really want him to come back but its been a week since we broke and he’s still not contacting me yet, I don’t know what he’s thinking now. He said he doesn’t love me like it was before and it really broke me into pieces but when I ask him if he still loves me, he said yes but not like before. I am very confused that I don’t want to wait for someone who… Read more »
Okay I am a female, me and my girlfriend broke up because she says we argue too much. But she’s saying that now that we have space. The reason we argued so much is because we were around each other 24/7 and we never got space and a lot of people would try to interfere with our relationship. I’m kinda confused because we’re not together but she is still here for me and she still does for me. We don’t spend that much time because she has 2 jobs. I know she is not doing anything because of the type… Read more »
All you need to do is disappear for a few days. Let her feel what it’s like to be without having you around all the time. If you guys used to spend so much time together then trust me it will hit her and she will understand what she might lose. If there is love, she will ask you back, if there is no love then.. not much you can do because love cannot be forced.
Good luck!
Hey, my girlfriend of one year and two months broke up with me two weeks ago. She was from Moscow and I am from London so we had a long distance relationship. We saw each other quite a lot and I went to Moscow three times, took her on holiday to Turkey in Feb and now recently she was living with me in London for a month and a half before going back to Moscow. During this time I also took her to Bali. We were very happy while she was in London and continued to talk per normal over… Read more »
I am 51 and I know what you are going through. Men at this age realize they finally have the freedom to do as they please. Give your self a break. Do not initiate any contact. If you work together in a common place just say hello and keep going. During this month focus on your self, physically emotionally and spiritually. Exercise will relieve stress as well as get you in shape for the next time you see him and you will. After one month see how you feel about him, only as a friend. Men are strange this way,… Read more »
I started seeing a woman I really love and she was married at the time and everything was perfect a lot of times, and she was married at the time for 3 years and left him for me! Well we dated and lived together for a while and we had a blast and great times and all. Once she was acting funny at night and I asked her what’s wrong and she says nothing, then I asked again and she says she’s not happy and than she tells me she’s still in love with her ex husband and my heart… Read more »