Learning From Breakups

Breakups. No doubt they suck. No doubt they are hard. No doubt they leave you miserable and confused.

But like everything else, they also have a purpose. You learn a lot about a person after you breakup with them. You learn a lot about yourself after a breakup. During a relationship, when both partners are too much obsessed about each other and about the relationship and about the problem; it’s kind of hard to understand and really realize what type of relationship you want and what type of person you want to spend your life with.

You know how they say, you don’t fall in love with someone when you are with them, but you fall in love with them when you are away from them. It’s because when you are away from someone, you actually get time to analyze them and think about them and you. And think about whether you are compatible together and whether they are the type of person you always wanted.

When you are in a relationship, it’s kind of hard to get that time to yourself. Unless you take off on a vacation all by yourself (which is rarely the case.)

After the breakup, however, people have that time to analyze what happened. Unfortunately, the surge of emotion is so much and so negative that it’s hard to think logically. Heck, most of the time it’s hard to think about anything but the breakup and what could have gone differently. (Oh and if you are thinking about what could have gone differently, STOP NOW. It’s no use and you are only getting yourself into a deep hole which is really hard to get out of.)

When the initially stages of the breakup are over. When the surge of emotions and all the negativity has vanished, you can actually have time to think about things. To think about your relationship and how good (or bad) it was.

Remember, if you are still thinking emotionally, then it is quite possible that your idea of the relationship is highly influenced by your desire to get back with your ex. At this time, my advice would be to keep emotions and desire aside (if you can’t then it’s best to wait for sometime before making a decision), and think logically about your relationship.

And if you are really thinking logically, you will realize that you’ve learned a lot about yourself and your ex. You can understand more about what you want in your relationships and what you don’t want. And based on this logical thinking (not desire, not emotions and not revenge) and logical thinking alone, you should decide whether or not you want to get back with your ex (if you do, then make sure you check out the 3 step plan to get your ex back). Even if you decide to get over them, remember that you learned a lot from this relationship and it was worth it.


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